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JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless
(theshovel.com.au)
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
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He also had a panic attack over being gay
His grandma asked an 8 year old if he liked to suck dick. Totally normal question, right? Like if a Republican asked an 8 year old girl if she liked dick in her mouth that would be normal?
Apparently that is normal to republicans. Fucking weirdos.
Who said this was normal?
JD Vance and Republicans
Mawmaw sounds traumatic as fuck and I would have told her flat out I did.
Hey at least she said God would still love him. After all, she likes to suck dicks and God loves her, so it figures. And it would be okay. Of course he rejected that part, and decided to stick to furniture coupling.
How you know Mamaw likes to suck dicks? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
She was an alcoholic who bullied and tormented Vance's mother according to the book. But Vance hates his mother, so he loved Mawmaw for abusing his mom
I had the same problem with masturbation. My religion made a big deal over what a sin it was, and we had no sexual education, so literally the only thing I knew was that it meant touching your own genitals, which I did whenever I needed to scratch or adjust myself. It was panic-inducing and miserable.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. I feel things of this sort pushes more people away from religion. I don't personally find that to be a bad thing, but it seems counter-intuitive to their mission
lol I love this.
Good, you'll probably be seeing more of it