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I wasn't necessarily calling you an asshole, it's just a quote that represents what the other commenter was talking about.
To answer your initial question, I haven't personally noticed Lemmy being more toxic than other platforms like it. Most conversations I've had have been pleasant. But I tend to avoid commenting on hot button topics. You commented on a topic that people feel strongly about and got angry comment replies. I wouldn't say that necessarily represents the site as a whole. But both of our experiences are anecdotal so it's difficult to say which is more common.
I think you're right. Hot button topics are just to be avoided I guess or fare repercussion.
How can we avoid being captured by epistemic bubbles though? That's the part that scares me.