How do you walk the line between not wanting to impose on the host and understanding they want the space to show their hospitality? (kbin.social)

submitted 1 year ago by Niello@kbin.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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And when money is involved, what's your approach to not make it turns into an endless awkward back and forth because both sides want to pay?

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[-] throwsbooks@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ask yourself if it's ego stopping you from accepting generosity. Here's an extreme example:

I visited my dad in another province (parents separated). We went to a department store, and he forgot his wallet in his car. I offered to help, and he got extremely upset, lectured me in the middle of the store, and left me standing there waiting for him to fetch his money. He wouldn't even take a "you can pay back me back after we're out of here."

It was honestly insulting to me, being shut down like that. I think I hurt his pride? But it soured my opinion of him.

If you've got good will and trust, take help gracefully, then offer it back when the time and means are right. People will remember how you react to these things, and if you consistently reject them, they will eventually stop offering, even when the time comes that you really need it.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023

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