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Undergrad problems require formic solutions
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I've done this with three friends, moving a couch from one part of the city to another, around 7pm at night. At first carrying seemed easy, but it soon got awkward and tiring. Then we ended up being able to very easily put it on our heads while arms kept it balanced and made excellent progress.
Cops pulled up next to us around halfway, "Sorry guys, I have to ask. What the fuck are you doing?"
"We're moving this couch from one friend's place to the other."
"Yep, thought it'd be something like that, but I had to ask. Be careful crossing streets."
Near the end, middle guy was resting it on his head too much, it burst through the fabric and he was temporarily couchhead.
And ever after, that friend’s nickname was couchhead, and it was good.