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(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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You guys need something to materialize in front of you to be terrified? I swear kids these days just want everything handed to them... All I need to be terrified is some old fashioned crippling self doubt and financial insecurity, and I'm better for it!
Found the millennial.
I'm my worst critic by far, and far too critical in general.
But you know what makes me frightened? That I'm somehow worse at everything than I'm aware of.
Like ever since school and therapy and work and stuff "you have incredible self awareness" but I sit there and think, well shit, knowing I'm imperfect, and knowing how low my self-confidence and self-respect are, and hearing everyone say I have incredible self awareness, fuck, that means I'm missing something.
On the positive side - the self awareness I lack could be explained by how hypercritical I am of myself; I'm not aware of my true strengths. But on the negative side; I'm not aware of my true strengths, and therefore my own true weaknesses. Without these, how do I know what I am aware of/not aware of?
How do I know what I really am aware of? Is awareness even real? How do I not know I'm delusional just by thinking I'm real? How do I know I'm not delusional just by being able to self reflect?
I gotta take a breath
Holy shit I could be my own SCP
I just need to remember that time I said that thing to that person.
That has me wallowing in anxiety for........ oh a good long while.
Hey, it's me, that person. I think about that thing you said all the time but won't bring it up because it'd be awkward.