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Mine was the day I got my first apartment. I was really just beginning in life and felt like I never really truly knew freedom and safety like having my own soverign space that nobody could revoke or meddle with

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[-] lennybird@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

A specific day? I'm not sure. But I helped put my family back together after an absolutely brutal year that went straight into the pandemic. I brought my divorced parents back together. Not together-together, but they're friends and we all hang out together. I care for my mom with my wife and sister's help; got her much healthier and off alcohol. I care for my dad and got him independent. I helped mend their relationship. I mended my relationship with my brother who I didn't speak to for years in lieu of this fallout and after battling it out with literally hundreds of thousands of words back and forth in letters.

I have one last puzzle to solve. In time, hopefully...

I've been so happy and grateful to spend time with my family largely as a whole again. To see my parents brighten up so much while playing with their grandkids is something I'll always have as a core memory. Takes me back to my own childhood, too.

When asked if I'm better off now than I was 4 years ago, I can't answer more instantly and definitely yes. I never want to go back to those terrible years, where covid was the least of my issues. Sure there is a lot of chaos in the world right now and this election is making me anxious, but I know my kids and family are much better off than what people are dealing with elsewhere in the world right now and I refuse to take that for granted.

So I guess I'm expressing a more slow burn of contentment.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

What do you think was the cause of your success with that this time? There's unhealthy ways to do everything you mentioned so I wanted to get your take on what worked out for ya

[-] lennybird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's hard to say. A combination of factors. Knowing them all really well, sincerely loving them and wishing to see the best of them all. Trying to act as a sort of translator for incessant miscommunications between them... As though people are operating on different frequencies. Addressing secondary factors that were contributing to stress or altered mental states... Also just a lot of time. These things can't be rushed and resolution probably couldn't have ever happened under a quicker timeline than 2-3 years with baby-steps and leaps of faith at the same time. It's very delicate and you're right there are unhealthy ways that force people back into things they were uncomfortable with. I made an effort to avoid that. I bore witness to my older sister going through this when my parents separated in earlier years and I learned a lot about how people argue and in different ways and what they're really after. Long discussions, 6-8 hours long for weeks on end. Standing up to my parents at different times. I probably stopped my dad's suicide or worse and I stopped my mom from her own downward spiral of depression.

Anyways, yeah those were hard times. Combine with my wife being pregnant with our first born and raising a newborn during this time, during covid, while we both work at hospitals — while my parents were living under our roof — was the extra cherry on top lol... I think we all came out better in the end, though.

Both my wife and I come from divorced parents and make a concerted effort to never do that kind of shit and to never let our children suffer from that. I'm very fortunate in that respect as well.

this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
65 points (97.1% liked)

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