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Mine was the day I got my first apartment. I was really just beginning in life and felt like I never really truly knew freedom and safety like having my own soverign space that nobody could revoke or meddle with

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[-] lennybird@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

It's hard to say. A combination of factors. Knowing them all really well, sincerely loving them and wishing to see the best of them all. Trying to act as a sort of translator for incessant miscommunications between them... As though people are operating on different frequencies. Addressing secondary factors that were contributing to stress or altered mental states... Also just a lot of time. These things can't be rushed and resolution probably couldn't have ever happened under a quicker timeline than 2-3 years with baby-steps and leaps of faith at the same time. It's very delicate and you're right there are unhealthy ways that force people back into things they were uncomfortable with. I made an effort to avoid that. I bore witness to my older sister going through this when my parents separated in earlier years and I learned a lot about how people argue and in different ways and what they're really after. Long discussions, 6-8 hours long for weeks on end. Standing up to my parents at different times. I probably stopped my dad's suicide or worse and I stopped my mom from her own downward spiral of depression.

Anyways, yeah those were hard times. Combine with my wife being pregnant with our first born and raising a newborn during this time, during covid, while we both work at hospitals — while my parents were living under our roof — was the extra cherry on top lol... I think we all came out better in the end, though.

Both my wife and I come from divorced parents and make a concerted effort to never do that kind of shit and to never let our children suffer from that. I'm very fortunate in that respect as well.

this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
65 points (97.1% liked)

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