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Batgirl
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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Pedants: He asked if she minded. She responded saying, "Sure thing," which is an affirmative response, meaning that she did mind. He still attempted to use the bathroom despite her saying she was uncomfortable with that.
I have difficulty with interactions in which people use "do you mind" that I have to be extra clear. Anyone else?
While on a pedantic level it sounds confusing, if someone responds “sure thing”, they are not necessarily directly answering the original question, but more so saying “go ahead” or “do it”. It’s weird, but sometimes people answer in the affirmative despite the answer needing to be negative.
So... when you analyze language, you can think of an utterance's semantics (what it means "at the dictionary level") and pragmatics (what it means in context.) For example, if you're having dinner, and someone asks "can you pass the salt?" in terms of semantics it's a question, but in terms of pragmatics it's generally a command or request for an action.
Similarly, I'd say Batman's first utterance in terms of pragmatics is a request for permission, which is granted by Catwoman's first utterance.
Reminds me how annoying it is when English speakers use "ain't no" in a sentence.
Which is just a double negative that practically almost always means the opposite of what they mean.
I don't mind...I guess.
What does that mean about your preference with the use of "do you mind"-like questions?
Yes?
Seriously though, the 'do you mind' questions like the one in the comic are really annoying to me because they are a two part question phrased for the part they don't care about. It makes the answer confusing depending on whether it is tsken literally or not, since sometimes it is used that way.
"Do you mind if I use...' is asking both if you can use and if the person minds. The general social expectation is that the person won't admit to minding, and will allow the use. So in this comic catwoman is answering yes to using the bathroom, and not answering whether she cares, because the question is being asked indirectly in this context.
The 'do you mind' question a great example of why many neurodivergent people have such a hard time in social settings, keeping track of all of the contradictory social expectations that don't make sense is tiring and not everyone is consistent.