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this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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chapotraphouse
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"He's just a fan of Latin! Guys! Can't someone tattoo the Catholic motto used during the crusades on their arm!? CANCEL CULTURE WHAT THE FUCK???"
But for real, I thought this was a "joke" someone put out? (The guy not his Nazi tats) He's some low level rando from Fox News...?
I can't believe a random Fox News host is our next Secretary of Defense. It's like an onion bit.
I can't wait for Gavin, the random valet guy who complimented Trump's tie, to be our Secretary of Energy and control all the nuclear stockpile.
I appoint myself to be Trump's new "Shit Czar" in charge of reversing all the EPA (or whoever makes those rules) rules/laws/whatever mandating "low flow" faucets and toilets.
A "problem" that was solved 20 years ago. Easiest job ever. Just pretend I'm still working on it for 4 years then show him a Toto toilet. The Japanese really know how to suck human feces away with minimum amounts of water usage. (No, I'm not paid by Toto... but I'd like to be)
Just head on Fox to make your case and I'm sure you'll get the job!
And then I'd like to submit my application to be your assistant czar. I could use a low stress job that sucks money from the US budget so it can't be used in Israel or Yemen while I work on my hobbies and interests.
True, but he only made it to O-4. The most common rank for an officer to retire is O-5. He was likely poor at playing politics, which is something needed for Sec of Defense.
Considering his ridiculous tattoos, it probably didn't help him at all.
They are going to completely reform the DoE to focus more on nuclear. Elon is going to have his fingers all over it. My job is about to SUCK.
What's the nuclear equivalent of a lithium battery fire again...?
has the onion run a headline along the lines of The Onion Shutting Down The Presses Due To Real Life Being Its Own Satire yet?
Yes actually
Harding's administration was basically that. Just handing out important government positions to his poker buddies.
This is the one appointment I’m hopeful for because if he can mismanage the armed forces into being even more incompetent than usual, I see that as a win.
As long as we don't get someone so incompetent that they throw the nuclear football
"Go long!"
He's more than likely going to be totally deranged. The only question is how much he relies on rhetoric vs action. Incompetence is a given, but when the secdef position... he can kill a shitload of people. Of course in theory secdef answers to the president, but, they've gone "rogue" before to varying degrees. They hold immense authority at the end of the day and few will question their authority if they just say the president made the order. Genuinely crazy shit, but... not unexpected unfortunately