29

i can't tell by facial/social/verbal cues

if i ask them they get mad at me

literally what do i do lmao

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

If they are resentful and want to get back at you, then, in addition to the behaviours above, they may do ‘petty’ things like:

deliberately disrespect your personal space or property (enter your room, move your things, eat your food)
unilaterally cancel shared commitments between you and them (pull out of dates without telling you, not do the dishes if it’s their night, etc.)
neglect care of things you care for (not water the plants, feed the dog)

Their motivation here is to deny you or harm things you enjoy while avoiding direct contact with you, and maintaining plausible deniability.

If the person is conflict seeking, unfortunately I don’t have much experience with people like that.

i do, professionally:

if they're smart about it, they'll do the same things that the resentful person will do but in a professional setting. think: snarkily critique your work publicly so that everyone can see your angered response or forgetting to invite you to team outings to make it look like you don't care. their motivation is to likewise deny and harm what's beneficial to you while maintaining plausible deniability, and they will likely succeed in a corporate setting unless you have EXCELLENT soft skills and are well connected within the company.

my own diagnoses was recent and i've been dragging my feet about doing the homework since i still have difficulty accepting the diagnosis; mostly because only a slim majority of the specialists who've assessed me have agreed and also because i've felt that my own self taught methods of coping have been serving me "well enough" over the decades anyways. i somehow still can't shake off the surprise since i never thought i looked or acted like the stereotype and i still don't since everyone keeps telling me that i'm not. reading responses like yours and realizing how it took me decades of trial of error to teach myself the same wisdom that you shared within a couple of seconds lays bare how much my stubbornness and internal prejudices are preventing me from learning about myself in the quickest and easiest way possible.

this is, by far, the strongest encouragement to do my homework that i've ever gotten and it worked; thank you.

[-] PointAndClique@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago

Thanks for the extra insight into the workplace behaviours, and sorry if you've been at the receiving end of it. I'm glad my comment could help you

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 days ago

it's all ancient history now since i've taught myself how to cope and combat it through several more episodes in the ensuing decades, but thanks nonetheless and, yes, the comment was very helpful; more so than almost a decade's worth of encouragement in talk therapy. thank you for sharing it.

this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
29 points (100.0% liked)

neurodiverse

1592 readers
21 users here now

What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS