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Why IS dating rule for guys
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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That s not true , of course doing the basic minimum of a normal human IS required but its not enough to have a gf today. The loneliness epidemic is real and not all lonely guy are complete moron. Personally I think one major factor is the privatization of love.
Ask someone out for coffee. Talk about your week. Ask about theirs. Don't treat the interaction as a pass/fail. Repeat. If you have mutual attraction then nature will play out.
Doing the bare minimum hygiene and the appearance of happiness drastically improves your chances.
Dating is for finding someone you enjoy being around. Sex is a result of growing closer.
Obviously some people have it easier than others but I have peers that just refuse to ask people out for coffee or a lunch. I'm a late millennial if that matters.
Be a decent person and if a love interest doesn't personally find you attractive they WILL tell their friends. NEVER talk poorly about your previous relationships. Learn a few jokes.
The privatization of love is a real problem but the classic approach isn't dead.
Do a group activity which has members of the demography you’re trying to attract. Show that you’re useful in a social environment and you will gain status and thus attract mates.
That can be anything from environmental protection, sports, politics, arts, music, games, organizing parties.
You forgot the two most important steps:
Otherwise it will not work.
If you mean physical and optical attraction, that can be improved by hygiene, clothing, haircut, exercise, makeup, diet.
Other factors like manners, conversational skills, generosity, outlook, morals, ethics, dance skills, art skills etc. can also be worked on.
Below average looking guys will easily pull women, if they have status and a purpose/passion in life. Status isn’t just money, it can be just being known for being useful in your social circles.
Ugly people have sex and spouses as well.
Yes, the bottom 10% of men have it harder. However most of them can work on themselves to improve their attractiveness immensely.
One advantage men have, is their attractiveness increases with age. For women it goes downhill in their 30s. For men that’s when their peak starts.
I’m now 42 and more women in their late 20s are interested in me than ever before in my life. Single late 30s women are often desperate to find a husband. The older men get, the bigger their dating range becomes. As a rule of thumb men can get women at their age or younger. Women will go for men their age or older. Woman with wrinkles and grey streaks: old hag grandma. Man with wrinkles and grey streaks: handsome and trustworthy.
So if you want to attract the most desirable women, work on yourself until you’re 30 and then start looking for a wife.
Of all that, only hygiene and exercise improve attraction, and it requires going to the gym 6 times a week and using performance enhancing drugs for it to make a difference.
Diet, clothing and haircut are mostly irrelevant. The only things that matter are height (1m80 is the minimum acceptable nowadays), muscles, and having a nice face. All three are required.
Source: I'm very small (1m70) and ugly, and having the ability to bench press my own weight doesn't help at all.
T'es pas petit je fait 1m63 1m70 c'est pas mal a coté x)
OK mais la plupart des ados sont plus grands que moi alors que j'ai le double de leur âge 😅
Your ideas of attractiveness are very skewed. If you only do only dating face and body matter more, because it’s much of what you see. However fashion and displayed activities, and status also play a role. But you might be better off looking for mates elsewhere.
Lots of short men with non athletic bodies and mediocre looks get laid every day.
Body and face beauty certainly helps, but there are diminishing returns. Except of course if you want to date super models.
Not being fat and doing some exercise or sports twice a week already puts you way ahead of the pack.
If you go and play social mixed gender volleyball instead of autistically lifting every day, you will have more opportunities and success.
What do you have to offers partner? Are you fun to hang out with? Do you do fun or interesting activities? Do you perform or make art?
For example: even the most low level DJs or musicians will have more success, than a grumpy loner who asks people if they know all albums of the band shirt they’re wearing.
So you’re short, athletic, and have an ugly face. What about your skills, interests, fashion, and activities?
Plenty of women are much shorter than you. If you live in the Netherlands or Mexico makes a difference.
I'm not overweight. I'm skinny but have been gaining weight over the years. I weigh 60kg for 1m70 (up from 47kg in 2020).
I don't autistically lift every day (although the non-autists that do obviously have more success with women), only twice a week. I also do indoor bouldering, which is a sport with almost 50/50 men and women. I've been going to the same gym for the past 3 years (I don't know a single person there).
As for my hobbies, I play the guitar, love politics (left/far-left), play video games (mostly retro or indie), go to concerts.
Of course, none of that is relevant, because my face makes manhole covers jump in fear, I'm very short (I know women are shorter but they want taller men), and not muscular.
My condolences towards your face.