[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 119 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Time to address the elephant in the room for Mr LargePenis. Wtf is happening in Syria? I'll first have a little breakdown of who the Druze are, then we'll see if we can cook up a little take on everything that's happening.

  1. the Druze: I don't think that anyone on this website is Druze. In fact I don't think that anyone here has even interacted with them. I don't know if this crosses some rule on this cursed website, but the Druze are very fucking weird to say the least. Let's first understand who they are. Their religious beliefs are basically secret, all Druze books aren't allowed to be shown to any non-Druze person. Even Druze people don't really know what their beliefs are, as they follow a policy of secrecy even within the group itself. A random young Druze person isn't really allowed to learn the real beliefs until they reach a certain age, that's when the Sheikhs are in charge of basically measuring how much that person is deserving of knowing. Their main thing is unwavering monotheism, even their official name is not the Druze, but Al Muwahiddin (the Monotheists). They also believe in reincarnation, which is called At Tanasukh in Arabic. The faith itself originated in the early 11th century in Egypt as an offshoot of Ismaili Shia Islam during the reign of the Fatimid Caliph Al Hakim. The Druze believe that Al Hakim was a divine manifestation and a central figure in their faith, not merely a caliph but an incarnation of divine wisdom. They do not worship him as God, but see him as a hidden spiritual figure who will one day return. They also like all the usual prophets like Muhammed, Jesus and Moses, but have extra respect for Prophet Shuayb who they view as their main spiritual ancestor. They also love Aristotle and Plato and other nerd philosopher Greek guys. They have four main centres in the Middle East which are completely disconnected from each other. The biggest concentration is in Jabal Al Arab in Syria, located in Suweyda Governorate, which is around 90% Druze, and the scene for all the action in the past few days. They also dominate the Galilee in occupied Palestine and the occupied Golan Heights. They also have a significant presence in Mount Lebanon, where they fought and won two important battles in Druze history against the Maronites of the mountain. They basically dominate all mountains in the Levant area, and are split between Lebanon, Syria and Israel, with three completely different paths in the societies of all three countries.

  2. Druze politics: In Lebanon, Druze politics mainly consolidated in the Jumblatt family, with Kamal Jumblatt dragging Druze politics into a socialist pan-Arab path. During the civil war, the Druze fought side to side with Palestinians, Communists and later Hezbollah and Amal. Their politics were mainly revolutionary, and against the exclusionary policies of the then-Maronite dominated Lebanese state. After the assassination of Kamal, the leadership of the Druze was passed down to Lebanon's now-favorite Twitter shitposter, the wacky and contradictory Walid Jumblatt, and we're now living in the era of the 3rd generation of Jumblatt leadership with Walid's son Taymour taking over. Their main political party is called the Progressive Socialist Party, and Druze people just like other sects in Lebanon are sectarian robots who just vote for any dude that follows the same sect. In Syria, they're a bit more insular, but still had a significant role in the founding of the Syrian state. They gained prominence during the Great Syrian Revolt against French rule, led by the Druze leader Sultan Al Atrash. After Syria's independence, the Druze maintained a pragmatic relationship with the state, with some members reaching high positions in the Baathist era. During the Syrian Civil War, Druze communities were divided, with some supporting the Assad regime and others just wanting to stay out of the problems. Their main centre in Suweyda stayed under Assad control during the whole war. One of the main characters for the SAA was Druze, everyone who was extremely online during the main stages of the war should know the name Issam Zahreddine. Relations between Assad and the Druze later soured in mid-2023, with weekly protests in Suweyda City which were called the Revolution of Dignity. They mainly protested fuel prices and stuff like that in the beginning, but it took on a more Druze nationalist character later. The thing is that Suweyda was pretty much semi-autonomous even during the war. Assad made it easier for Druze men to dodge military service for example by establishing an extensive network of officers to bribe. The presence of the SAA in Suweyda was also mainly Druze officers and soldiers, who stayed loyal to the state through the system of the Syrian state pretending that Suweyda Governorate didn't really exist, while keeping the Governorate safe from ISIS or other Jihadist infiltration. In Israel we have a more evil turn suddenly. The Druze in Israel maintain a close, but controversial relationship with the Israeli state. They aren't exempt from mandatory military service like other Arabs in Israel, and many Druze soldiers have died fighting in conflicts like the current Gaza genocide, which leads to understandable hate from other Arab groups who see them as collaborators. Politically, Druze leaders generally align with right-wing ultra-zionist parties or centrist zionist blocs. Their participation in elections often supports governments that continue evil Israeli bullshit against Arabs of 1948 and Palestinians under occupation. Druze politics in Israel tends to prioritize integration and cooperation with the Israeli government over confrontation in any shape or form. Despite their loyalty and historical glazing of Israel, the Druze community still faces social and economic discrimination by Israelis who will never accept an Arab as an equal no matter how much you suck up to them.

  3. Wtf is happening now: If you have made it so far and read all the historical nerd stuff above, then you will understand if we summarise the three Druze communities in the following terms: confrontation in Lebanon, insular semi-independence in Syria, and pragmatism and sucking off the state in Israel. What's happening now within the Druze community in Syria is a combination of all these three paths into one. They're confronting the mindless bloodthirsty Jihadi Syrian government led by Jolani by carving out a semi-independent Druze State in Suweyda Governorate, with a pragmatic appeal to Israel for security. Since the fall of Assad, the new government has been unable to establish any control in Suweyda Governorate, which has been controlled by a fully-Druze militia that mainly consists of former SAA officers who threw their old uniforms and now operate under the name Rijal Al Karama (Men of Dignity). As of now, Druze High Sheikh Al Hijri's gamble seems to have worked. Israel airstriked the living shit out of Jolani's army who were marching on Suweyda, and they managed to leverage that reality into a humiliating agreement for Jolani which basically makes Suweyda independent. Of course this was only possible because of Jolani's idiotic management of the minorities question since the fall of Assad. The killings and kidnappings of Alawites on the coast showed the true colors of the new regime no matter how much Jolani tried to twerk for the West, the Gulf and even Israel since coming to power in Syria. The initial successful march on Suweyda by the new Jihadi Syrian Army left a trail of destruction and blood of innocent civilians, mainly committed by actual members of the new army with interesting Jihadi pasts. The Druze appealing to Israel for support is understandable from a pragmatic point of view, as their community genuinely faced a risk of oppression and perhaps even a threat of genocide if those Jihadis were allowed to rule over the Druze of Suweyda. The whole tribal forces nonsense was also an amateur move by Jolani who tried to benefit from the shitty relations between Druze and Arab Sunni Tribal Bedouins in the desert of Suweyda. No one could take the tribal forces thing seriously when they were departing from Damascus with heavy weaponry and then in later videos people noticed that half of these supposed tribal fighters were Uzbek and Uyghur jihadists that everyone knew from the Idlib days.

  4. Who should I cheer for?: Absolutely no one. On one side you have Jihadi freaks who are supported by America and have committed indescribable crimes against Syrians already. On the other side you have an insular separatist community who put their interest over the unification of Syrian land, and now have committed a major unforgivable sin by openly collaborating with Israeli enemy to bomb other Syrians, even if they're Jihadi freaks. My take: spare the civilians, but all the combatants hopefully have a fun time.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 127 points 8 months ago

Assalamu Aleykum to the good people of Hexbearistan. Finally back from my Iraq trip with my wife and the kid. Absolute top tier travel destination, would recommend for sure if you're thinking about doing a lil Middle East trip one day. Here are some little notes on the trip:

  • Flew from my city to Istanbul, spent a few miserable hours in Istanbul's expensive ass airport, then flew to Baghdad. My kid was surprisingly chill during almost the whole trip, no extended periods of crying or anything. The plane from Istanbul to Baghdad was filled with non-Arab foreigners, which was quite surprising honestly. Lots of Chinese people for some reason, which usually leads to new schools and ports spawning in any country that the Chinese visit.

  • Baghdad Airport is functional but quite rundown. I went in with my Lebanese passport which technically needs a paid visa on arrival, but the guy on the counter waived the fee for me and just said welcome. My wife's uncle was waiting for us outside and we were on the highways of Baghdad after a few kisses and hugs. The first few kilometers must be a shock for every new visitor to Baghdad, as it is filled with posters of Qassem Soleimani, Yahya Sinwar and Hassan Nasrallah. Iraq is still a very anti-imperialist country, you will finds flags of Yemen, Palestine and Lebanon in every corner. I thought it was super cool that one could find posters of the Houthis on billboards and shops selling Hezbollah memorabilia.

  • Baghdad as a city has recovered well from the American invasion and occupation. New roads and bridges spawning everywhere, barely any armed military presence, new and shiny malls and restaurants everywhere, massive international schools and it's just alive in a way that only Beirut can reach. The biggest problem is the traffic congestion, which the new Baghdad Metro project hopefully solves in a few years. The trash situation is also annoying, Baghdad is a quite dirty city, the people are as responsible as the government there honestly.

  • The food was fucking amazing, but I've gained a few extra kilos from all the fatty foods. Some of the new restaurants are insanely good, and white people will never understand the appeal of a nice proper cafe with hot tea, diabetes-inducing sweets and hookah. Internet was decent, but this website barely loaded without a VPN for some reason. I paid around $10 for a week of unlimited 4G data.

  • Made a quick one-day trip to Erbil, capital city of Iraqi Kurdistan. Took a smooth four hour drive there and crossing the inofficial "border" was pretty straightforward. Very beautiful city with great markets and more good food. Lots of new exciting construction projects in Erbil and it's cleaner than Baghdad, but same traffic issues. It's a good intro city for someone that wants an authentic Middle Eastern city, but not too "complicated", nor too artificial like the Gulf cities.

  • Finished the trip with a Shia Islam religious pilgrimage megatour with my wife's family. We started in Baghdad and visited the Shrine of Imam Musa bin Jafar Al Kazim, then we drove around two hours to Karbala and visited the Shrine of Imam Hussain and Imam Abbas, then another hour to Najaf and visited the shrine of the greatest Muslim to ever live, Imam Ali bin Abu Talib. Was a great trip even if I'm not really the strongest believer out there. The shrines were magnificent, definitely something I'd recommend to everyone here.

  • Overall summary is that Iraq is worth visiting, especially if you want to give your tourist dollars to a country that 100% doesn't use them to murder Palestinians or buy American senators. It will be a culture shock for sure, but Baghdad is a nice and historic city, with the added bonus of having top tier food. I'll upload some pics if I figure out how to do it in a non-doxxing manner.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 137 points 1 year ago

This will be the ground invasion of Lebanon megathread. May God protect everyone. My aunt and her little kids are on their way to the Syrian border now, the plan is that they make their way to Damascus by tomorrow and then stay with my cousin outside of Damascus. Plan B is that they make it to Damascus then register their names with one of the Iraqi refugee settling programs then go to Iraq which will be safer and the kids can actually go to school there without any bureaucratic nightmares. They're resettling Lebanese families in the pilgrim hotels outside of Karbala and Najaf, so that sounds like a more manageable life than my cousin's farm in the Damascus countryside.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 141 points 1 year ago

Waiting for a response for any message in the family group chat right now is fucking torture, I literally can't deal with it anymore. I've sent my wife and the kid to her mom's for a few days, they can't see me and my dad like this. The two hours it took for my uncle to see the message and respond today were absolute hell, fuck this life. My aunt has little kids no older than 14, what if something happens. I've called my cousin from my mom's side who has a little farm outside of Damascus in Syria, he can take in my dad's family from Beirut, but how the fuck will they even leave with this situation, and my cousin is already dirt poor, how will he feed them. Too many thoughts spinning, nowhere to scream them out, nowhere to go and nothing to do, I almost wish I was there.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 151 points 1 year ago

It has officially started, no words can describe the feeling in my heart right now. I have lots to say to Iran and the Axis, but this is not the time nor place. May God keep everyone home in Lebanon safe and strengthen their resolve. It has felt inevitable for months now, but I hate that we're so close to winter with how cold it gets in Lebanon. My aunties in Beirut started gathering supplies a few days ago, they have plenty of canned goods and stuff like rice stored now. My stubborn communist uncle was a "nothing ever happens guy" though so we're grilling him in the family group chat now. My cousin is home in Beirut now, we were worried for him because he works in Tyre which will most likely be pulverised by the Zionists. May God give us the chance to witness the total destruction of this cancerous entity.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 120 points 1 year ago

The motherfuckers did it again, fuck this earth. One of the explosions in Sour/Tyre yesterday was less than 100m from my cousin's office. We fucking lost contact with him for hours until everything settled and we got a thumbs up in the family group chat. How is this blatant terrorism even fucking justified by these absolute freaks. So many young beautiful people leave us every single day in Lebanon, for what? The continuation of the biggest terror state since Nazi Germany. My hatred and rage are genuinely reaching uncontrollable levels, fuck everyone from Sykes to Ben Gurion to Sadat to Clinton to Abdullah

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 118 points 1 year ago

News mega gang, listen up. Based on vibes, pit in my stomach, voice tone of family in Beirut, and the spirits of George Hawi and Kamal Jumblatt speaking to me:

Iran and Hezbollah will be attacking Israel before Sunday. If it doesn't happen, I'll show my face here again on Sunday and you're all allowed to call me a dumbass.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 120 points 1 year ago

Israel bombed my hometown Beirut. Very strange feeling, because I'm not sad nor angry. The feeling in shia and revolutionary circles is more "thank you Israel", because we want this war. We want to have a direct reason to hit Tel Aviv, we want our troops to burn the occupied Golan, we want our missiles to fill the settlers with fear and panic. Alhamdullilah and may Allah accept the martyrs. My eyes will not be filled with the sight of Beirut for a long time, which really pains my heart, but if our collective sacrifices result in even one hour of pain for the zionists, then it was worth it.

فَٱرْتَقِبْ يَوْمَ تَأْتِى ٱلسَّمَآءُ بِدُخَانٍۢ مُّبِينٍۢ

"Then watch for the Day when the sky will bring a visible smoke"

Quran - Surat Al Dukhan - 10

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 162 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Two days ago, on the first day of the Islamic month of Muharram, my son was born. The little fucker busted out of my wife a few weeks too early, but he's finally here. We left the hospital a few hours ago after two days of medical checks and both he and my wife are now peacefully sleeping while I'm writing. I won the naming battle and we settled on a traditional, but cool name in my very biased opinion. I'm now Abu Hassan, which sounds unreal, because how the hell am I a father lol. Now the real battle starts, I cannot do the same mistakes that Pete Buttigieg's father did and accidentally make him a liberal. Maybe in 16 years or so, you'll have Hassan LargePenis posting a VR interactive three dimensional chad n cuck ranking in the news mega about the slow Russian progress in the Central European front of WW3. Thank you all in advance for the well wishes!

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 123 points 1 year ago

Never turn off this website again. I saw the Bolivia news, rushed to the news mega and saw the gates of heaven locked. My hands started trembling as I realised that I had nobody to talk to about internal Bolivian politics. Out of desperation, and may Allah forgive me for these words, I started tweeting. Astaghfirullah wa atoub ilayh

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 133 points 1 year ago

I don't know how many of you beloved news mega Hexbears even know my name, but I wanted to tell you that this chad n cuck ranker is going to become a father in a few months. This is the main reason that I've been absent recently, my wife is having quite a difficult pregnancy and it's really hard for us both to prepare to raise a child far away from our homelands with barely any bigger family structure. It's a boy, but my wife isn't liking my name suggestions. How can she not love suggestions like Nasrallah, Qassam and Shahid-136.

To keep it news related, I've been getting into the Ukrainian war again and it's finally exciting to follow the line moving. Learning new names like Krasnogorovka, Netailove, Ocheretyne has been great, and now I'm excited to see what insane Soviet industrial achievement is in Chasiv Yar after the salt mines of Soledar, the coke plant of Avdiivka and the Azot mining complex in Severodonetsk. It has been also fantastic to finally see some of the most annoying battles end, like what was the point of Ivanivske, Marinka and Pervomaiske after all this time. Inshallah one day I can stop hearing about Synkivka, Ugledar and Robotyne, the line freezing there for so long deeply annoys me.

[-] LargePenis@hexbear.net 123 points 2 years ago

Genuinely impressed by how mind-bogglingly stupid the average westerner is. Feed the westerner any propaganda slop and he'll eat it with a massive smile on his face while thanking his master. The allegedly propagandized asiatic Russian and the dumb bloodthirsty Arab already knows that most state news is fake and shouldn't be trusted, but the westerner can't even form an opinion without eating some slop first. You know as an Arab dude with a fucking family here in the West, it's getting harder and harder to live with such a hostile racist society. I've discussed with my wife if it's perhaps smarter to just cut loose the "privileges" of the West and move back into the Arab World and raise our future kids there. I'm close to the edge, I can't tolerate life here anymore.

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LargePenis

joined 4 years ago