Strategy of capitalism. You have to shoot for short term hail-marry profits at the expense of, well, every thing else.

Pronounce 'bottle of water' right now OP

It's /b, the whole thing is probably made up

Water? You mean that stuff that goes in toilets?

He's not really dead. Made me look though.

Awesome comment. Today I learned something.

Her insider trading was also drawing a lot of heat. Now we've all forgotten about it!

Good luck on the surgery OP

“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.

Damn these guys are good. Managing to satirize the media, take a hands-off approach, and still raise valid points all in a couple paragraphs.

My parents when I was born:

When she shuts you down so hard that you reconsider your worth

I don't want to sound like an incel, and I like eating vag/salad as much as the next guy, but imagine this image with the genders reversed