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[-] cynar@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

As a parent, if my kid did that, I'd likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of "natural consequence" punishments.

It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

This is my favorite answer. I'd argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it's usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn't get a face full of claws. I've gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn't want to be touched. Boundaries are important.

[-] cynar@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Natural consequences doesn't mean "law of the jungle" here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.

I tend to use a lot of "natural consequence parenting". Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can't then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it's fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.

It's a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there's an "I told you so" before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 weeks ago

I don't have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant "no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward" and even if I didn't understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I've got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward

[-] cynar@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

That's basically the goal I'm aiming for. It's also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the "no". If you're using a hard no, then there is something they don't yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.

The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.

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[-] KiloGex@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

If my kid did that, I'd let you splash them again.

[-] WanakaTree@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I'd just say "well this is how the cat feels"

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid's an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.

[-] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I'll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.

I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.

[-] teslasaur@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.

[-] tauren@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

This is what big comma and periods want you to believe. Don't be a fool!

[-] Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

too many commas and periods to provide a believable refuttal

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[-] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

If it was funny to do it to the Cat.... It was hilarious doing it to the kid.

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Time to splash the father

[-] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

If my neighbor did ANYTHING to my pets, they'd be lucky to only get sprayed with water.

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this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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