At the beginning of a shift working as a line cook i was bending down to get something from the bottom shelf in the walk in and I tore my pants ass wide open. Like a total blow out that went down to my inner thigh.

Problem was that since working in a kitchen is so fucking hot, I had taken to working commando every shift. I peeked out the walkin and asked a coworker to get me a 2nd apron. I wrapped it around my ass and took off out the back door, got in my car, and drove down to the goodwill that was fortunately still open.

I grabbed the first pants I found that would fit and went to pay but there was a huge line at the register. I told the person at the register that my pants exploded at work and I needed to pay right now and get back asap. She opened a 2nd register and checked me out.

Anyways that's the story of why I always have pants in my car now.

straight

This is clearly vitally critical to how we're supposed to interpret the rest of the greentext

Better be fake

Well folks it turns out that being 40 is like shitting your pants

> Straight, by the way

If i shit my pants aggressively i would probably pretend to fall over and curl up in pain because if you see someone shit their pants without pain you would think the person is strange but if they are in pain and distress then you would think its something medical thus they wouldnt judge you so much for it. At least this is my theory.

More of a shitcode...

anon should just get skatole