Your son will cut all contact with you both as soon as he's able. And what's with "my husband's rules?" Where's your voice in all of this?
You got that from three sentences?
Military discipline is best served for the military, not adolescents. Your husband is cultivating a person who will never let go of their disdain for both of you, and will likely act out in bombastic ways. Good luck.
Yeah. I'd say it is. a hard 06:00 wake up time/bedtime is probably going to fuck your kid up. Teens are rather more prone to sleeping in and staying late as a matter of biology. teenage circadian rhythms are shifted later than young children and adults shift back as the age. it may be necessary to wake up that early to get to school, but when there's no school? probably not his normal.
Also, just for the record smartphones are how teens tend to communicate with one another, as well as the outside world. Does it need guardrails? yes. but you're not doing your kid any favors by keeping them high, only delaying the inevitable as well as forcing him to hide and go around your back for things he's going to find anyway. And I'm just going to assume that screentime doesn't include things like homework.
22 to 6 is 8 hours barely. He might not fall asleep immediately and children might need more sleep.
agreed. I'd say let the kid sleep in NLT 10AM, depending on weekly schedule, school workload, etc.
the rules regarding screentime for me, are as follows:
22:00 bedtime / 06:00 wake-up time daily is what you do in the army in my country. No smartphone too. This seems excessive for a normal 15 year old.
I would go off of what your son wants. They will turn 16 and then 18 in a very short time, until then they should IMHO have as much freedom as they can handle.
For example if they want to stay up late playing video games, spend some of that time with them learning about what they are doing. Don't judge them too harsh if it's something you don't like. They might be too old for that approach though.
They might be too old for that approach though.
Something I thought of when reading OP. Why now? He's 15. This question would have made way more sense if he was many years younger.
[It might be the teenager himself asking here, but hey, that's OK]
3rd reply: they're nearly of age, they should be mentored as you would mentor a grown up imo.
I have a kid of the same age, and ours are less strict, except for bed time, it's 21:30 if there's school the next day. Wake up time is whatever necessary, like others said teens need their rest. Screen time ends at 21:00 on school nights, but will get more strict if school results are getting lower. Basically we give our kids a lot of freedom, but expect them to do their school work and behave like normal human beings. We're also strict on alcohol, drugs or other substances, which is not always the case in my part of the world.
Swedish father of three here. Our kids got a tablet at 1yo, smartphone at 3 and their own computer at 6. No rules on screentime whatsoever. Sleep schedules based on their discovered individual needs.
I don't know which country you're from, but based on your description it sounds like an islamic dictatorship. Or the USA.
Other Nordic here, and I think these ages are too low. From what I see around me, personally, but also as a professional.
They're working very hard to make the USA more like Saudi Arabia.
Based on what I've written I'd guess you and your husband were raised in ultra conservative Christian households. What you're doing to your son is borderline abusive. You're setting him up to either be a dangerous, maladjusted outsider to mainstream society or, if the US continues on its current trajectory, a dangerous, maladjusted insider who will inflict cruelty on those who are different from him. You need to change now.
Early wake up might be a bit strict. I mean no smartphone is a bit far if he buys and pays for i t himself then no reason to limit it at all.
We know nothing about your kid. We don't know if he's an angel or a little shit.
Without knowing more I think the bedtime rules are alright. Structure is good. If he doesn't throw bucketloads of ice water on him still snoozing 6:01I don't see a huge problem.
As for smartphone and screen time, every kid is different. These restrictions strike me more as he's been a little shit punitive. If he's never known different and doesn't mercilessly gets teased for it in school, it might be okay. Our opinion doesn't really matter as much as yours and you asked the question. So I'm sensing you may be dissatisfied with both these rules and perhaps their unilateral implementation. I would just advise you not to talk to hubby like hey I asked a bunch of strangers on the internet about your rules and here's what they thought.
Waking up your kid at six on the weekend is just cruel.
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