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✨ new tech bingo ✨ (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 days ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

My code only gets me one square :(

(Doesn't work)

[-] spongebue@lemmy.world 111 points 3 days ago

I was looking for "buzzword soup website doesn't say what the product fucking does"

Maybe that wouldn't fit in a square

[-] Stovetop@lemmy.world 79 points 3 days ago

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[-] spongebue@lemmy.world 40 points 3 days ago

It's so perfectly terrible 🥹

[-] Nikophos@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

I was scrolling through job postings today and came across one that read like this. I was confused -> clicked the link -> saw a picture of two oil rig workers -> genuinely said "Ah, oil!" out loud -> and closed the web page.

They try to hide behind green washing and jargon. It happened to me at a university career fair a few months ago, too.

[-] affiliate@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

the only possible way this could be worse was if it was called CloudChain and also had weird blockchain/crypto nonsense.

[-] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 9 points 3 days ago

Chat, is this real?

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Oh, that CloudBox...

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 44 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

A game of Bingo requires several players to have different cards. That would be on another card. Other possible entries:

Uses recently popular buzzword tech for no reason.
Uses an always-on internet connection and multiple server farms to perform a function that ran locally on a Palm V PDA in 1997
Isn't legal in the EU

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

Are you talking about the turbo encabulator, retro encabulator, or hyper encabulator?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nKk_-Lvhzo

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[-] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 39 points 3 days ago

You completely forgot:
"Actually just monetizes somethign that already existed for free"
Though I guess Ads is already the free space.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

But it's new and better! Just ask our huge team of three programmers and thirty marketing geniuses.

[-] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

So if someone says Windows, everybody gets a Bingo somehow?

[-] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

do i create a new tech alt on some short form content site? or is there an intended way to use the bingo board

[-] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

I would add "people blame programmers and CS majors instead of rich dudes for some reason."

[-] spacecadet@lemm.ee 29 points 3 days ago

What apps only work for straight white guys?

[-] cryptiod137@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

Not an app, but the Kinect had trouble with people of certain shades

[-] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 days ago

Does truth social have an app?

[-] LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Not really an answer to your question, but worth a read to widen your horizon: It’s a huge problem that most health apps are created by men — here’s how to fix that

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago

I'm sure there are none, straight white guys are just a favorite villain around here.

I can think of a tech that doesn't work as well on black people though: Pulse oximeters. A pulse oximeter works by shining two wavelengths of light through your finger to measure the amount of oxygen in your blood. It also sees your blood come and go with your pulse, so it can detect your heart rate. Well get this: melanin blocks light. A black man's finger is more opaque than a white man's finger, so optical pulse oximeters have been known to fail to detect hypoxia in dark skinned people. This problem has been known since the 70's, and continues to be a problem to the present day. Because you know what happened recently? A global pandemic of a respiratory disease. Pulse oximeters failed to detect hypoxia in more black patients than white patients, who then weren't given supplemental oxygen. So why in the last 50 years hasn't that been addressed?

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Dating apps and similar with insufficient moderation come to mind, or even ones that effectively paywall dickpics and harassment instead of removing it.

For gender nonconforming people, lots of forms.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

I'm not convinced dating apps work for anyone in any way.

[-] Eranziel@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

While I'm sure the obvious systemic issues contribute to not looking for alternatives, that does sound like largely an issue inherent to optical pulse oximeters. Engineers aren't miracle workers, they can't change physics to their liking.

I'm sure pulse oximeters now are more accurate than they were 20 years ago. The fact we're still using them is because no alternatives have been found which are as easy to use, reliable, and non-invasive as pulse oximeters, even with the known downsides.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Engineers aren't miracle workers, granted. Which is why it is their responsibility to thoroughly test the devices they design and document their limitations. It's then on the medical industry to train doctors and nurses on those limitations.

I’m sure pulse oximeters now are more accurate than they were 20 years ago.

As I said, this continues to be a problem into the present day. COVID-19 patients with dark skin would suffer from hypoxia that pulse oximeters would fail to detect, leading the medical staff to fail to administer supplemental oxygen. That's probably happening somewhere on earth as I type this.

Do the little lights in the device need to be brighter, or have a brighter mode? Does their need to be a switch on the side? Can our cultures handle a medical device with a "white people | black people" switch on the side?

[-] MBM@lemmings.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Plenty of stuff that works much better for white guys that speak English and with the right accent, because that's who they are mostly trained on (image/speech recognition, spell check and translation, lots of medical stuff but that's not very tech). Not sure about straight.

Edit: oh the image said cis, not straight. That's easier.