I like infodumping, then being infodumped back at, until we arrive at some crossover subject of mutual curiousity we can discuss till the cows come home. Unfortunately while my gf loves this, my bff doesn't appreciate this tho.

For me, it's more like:

My social battery has been dead for a while and I can't moderate my behavior enough to get new people to put up with my bullshit.

Yes, I feel that way sometimes. But I try to keep in mind that humans are innately social creatures, and I shouldn’t shut myself off like that. It helps to have pre-planned events with people I know I like, like playing a TTRPG or board game, or volunteering.

I find im always just howling into the void.

Nah, I'm just shy. Especially with women. I don't feel I have much to offer anyone.

I graduated high school in 2005, one out of some 300 of my graduating class. Had plenty of friends. Went to community college, several folks I knew from school went to the same community college, met plenty of new folks. Had plenty of friends. Transferred to university, had plenty of friends, got to know my roommates pretty close, that kind of thing.

Out of college, I disappeared into what I thought was going to be my career for a few years. When I came back up and looked around, I found myself in a different world with people that aren't people anymore, there are walking talking eating shitting cell phone stands.

I don't try to socialize for the same reason I don't go hunting for Carolina parakeets: Interpersonal relationships aren't a thing that exists in the world anymore. We killed them all and the corpse of the last one is on display behind glass at the Raleigh museum of Natural Sciences.

Yup. It’s part and parcel of my autism.

My social battery is dead and been incinerated.

See how many people here share your troubles? There's no shortage of people like you. The thing is, like you say, you have to stop putting up with people's bullshit. When you notice bullshit, confront them with it, and if there's no way of reconciliation, move on immediately, don't try to "put up" with anything. From what you said it seems like you hold on to toxic people too long.

Also, have you ever thought about that you might also have "BS" that other people would have to deal with when they want to create a deep connection with you? Do you think that's absolutely impossible?

I'm wired wrong for most social interactions. It's a serious problem, and my attempts to overcome it generally make it much worse. But "accepting myself" means accepting unemployment, and then how can I pay rent? (Currently unemployed and living with family).

However, I don't think people's social behavior is all BS. I try not to be resentful. I know there's lots of BS, but I also know that's what becomes most obvious to me, so it's partly a matter of perception.

You all had social batteries to start with.? I haven't really ever had it and haven't ever had much if at all deep connections. Not because I don't try but because people can't deal with my genetically dead social batteries.

~~social battery~~

social spicy pillow

I feel this a lot. Between people moving away and turning inward, I have maybe one or two really good friends.

Social media. You use it up spending time on Reddit and Lemmy etc.

Interacting with people is like any other skill. If you don't do it badly at first, you'll never get to the point where you can do it well.

I was an isolator who got a job where I was dealing with everyone in a public health facility. By 'everyone' I mean everyone from doctors and police to homeless schizophrenics.

It was sink or swim, but I got the skills.

yes, but i am also becoming more tolerant of personal quirks as i’ve learned of my autism and how it impacts my socializing. i worry nobody likes me and tend to avoid conversation. i want friends. i have some, but more would be nice. something genuine and deep but equally as stupid and silly and shallow.

I wonder if "human BS" is just the frustration that real human communication is less convenient and demands more attention than the other forms of communication we've gotten used to.