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Ow my liver
(slrpnk.net)
For the non-Americans in the audience, what is White Claws?
Soda water with vodka and a homeopathic amount of fruity flavoring
I keep seeing people make fun of it online but that sounds like something I’d enjoy. My drink of choice for a few years now has been the depressing combination of whatever carbonated water is available with whatever better-than-rotgut-but-only-just vodka is available.
Rotgut-tier is also fine in a pinch. But the bad stuff here will make you blind.
(I’m also a fan of “give me your sweetest, fruitiest, girliest drink”, which was great fun back in uni when all the dudes around me were ordering bitter beverages they clearly didn’t enjoy. By trying to project masculinity to the girls around us, they were actually betraying an underlying insecurity about it - and by ordering my girly drink I was gently lampshading that idea. Fun times.)
They're delightful. I personally prefer whiskey and when I want carbonated alcohol I tend towards a beer or a bourbon spritzer (or it's wine sibling), but they're easy and refreshing.
And yeah, as a chick who likes neat bourbon, it's amusing seeing men who are clearly uncomfortable with the fact that they don't like stuff like it. Like dude, just order what you like
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A can of carbonated water with a shot of vodka in it.
Just as much flavour as a typical flavoured carbonated water too
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Basically flavoured water with alcohol.
And bubbles
An energy drink
Found the husband!
White claw is a drink that comes in vaguely energy-drink looking cans, tastes bad (if it has any flavor at all), and has a slight alcohol content.
In fairness, my opinion of flavor should be taken with a grain of salt (lol) because I really dislike the taste of alcohol and am honestly surprised anyone could drink even a low percentage without recognizing ethanol’s horrible flavor.
Huh, you may be surprised to hear, but I actually LIKE the taste of ethanol in many drinks.
Ethanol is also grest for extracting flavours from various fruits and herbs.
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In the 19th century all kinds of “snake oil” mixtures were sold as pain killers and energy tonics. The vast majority were just something suspended in alcohol. Alcohol dulls pain and makes you feel a rush of euphoria. So people thought it was “medicine.”
It continues to this day. My wife was convinced that a certain kombucha was benefitting her gut microbiome in some profound way because it made her feel so great to drink it. Turns out the brand got in trouble - their process was letting through 1.5-2% alcohol (yes my wife is a lightweight).
We like to talk about drugs like there's this clear delineation between something that is and isn't medicine... but it really comes down to the situation and the dosage.
For much of history and in most places, liquor was the most effective painkiller available. More recently, fentanyl started as a synthetic, medical grade painkiller. It's still widely used across hospitals for that. Before synthetics, it was opium (otherwise known as heroin), derived from poppy plants.
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One of my American colleagues in Japan once got written up because he didn’t know chūhai was alcoholic. It came in a can with colourful fruits on it on a shelf next to the coke.
Couldn't have been STRONG ZERO
tell me how these weren't designed to give alcoholics plausible deniability lol
Oh, I thought they were designed to give alcoholics heart attacks
Naw, the industry basically self-regulated itself out of mixing alcohol and caffeine after all the Four Loko incidents. The labeling is just for brand loyalists or something now, idk
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Watched my boss drink one of those and a red bull at the same time. Regular thing for her apparently.
Like alternating between, mixed drink, or just both cans right to the mouth at once?
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Do people not read the package at all for the food they consume? It says right on the front the alcohol content.
Put it near enough to the energy drink case in the convenience store, and this kind of mixup seems plausible.
Yeah that’s kind of insane. I kind of get it if you’re seeing it for the first time and someone else is holding it, but to actually buy it and not realize it’s alcohol is a completely different level.
Assuming this is real, maybe the wife bought them for herself and hubby thought, "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I started snagging these bad boys". She notices that some are missing, asks about it, and we have our reveal.
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I did the same almost, bought weird new energy drinks, was about to drink one at work, looked at the can better, 5,5% alcohol. Whoops.
Drank it on the drive home instead, naturally
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Bet he’s been having a very good work time though.
they're..
they're not?
Newp! Alcoholic seltzer!
Ain't no open container laws when you're drinkin' claws.
It's not easy to tell the difference between a can of kombucha and a can of thc sparkling juice at first glance either. Both have similar designs.
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If a 12 oz can at 5% ABV once per day makes you feel liver pain, there's probably something wrong with your liver, and maybe the drinking life isn't for you.
It's fine, I'll just take more Tylenol to deal with the pain.
Just drink Painquil! It's acetaminophen, and it's 10% alcohol! The old liver double whammy.
If God was real, PainQuil would be morphine and blue raspberry instead of black cherry
If the devil was real, it would be anise and krokodil.
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Conversely, we had a small event at work with three different drinks, of which two were lemonade and the third looked like just another flavor of lemonade, but was actually an energy drink. You basically had to read the ingredients to find out.
That's just one drink a day, not that bad for your liver. (For some anyway, I have no idea how some people drink so much.)
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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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