If you feel attacked by « all men is a rapist » you’ll need to reconsider what you are

Nah. Don't play the word games this way. Women and girls have to operate under the assumption that "all men" specifically because to do otherwise puts them at significant disadvantage and in significant danger. Unknown unknown - I don't know this man, or those men, but statistics say 92.1 % of sexual offenders are men and 1 in 6 women will experience rape. There's a sexual assault every 68 seconds.

So while it may seem unfair to say "all men" because obviously not all men, I have a lot of questions about how op wrote this post.

All bears aren't gonna try to eat you. There's lots of circumstance where that's not going to happen. But the question is do you assume you are in danger from every bear you run across?

The thing about the statistics for African American crime is that a lot of them are deliberately misleading and weaponized against that demographic. You acknowledge how bad of an analogy this is but I i don't really think you understand just how flawed the argument is. Rape and sexual assault are about exerting power and control. The statistic you used is an example of using statistics to exert power and control over a narrative specifically to keep the demographic in question oppressed or subjugated.

If we're strictly arguing against weaponizing statistics against a demographic I can understand. But if op is questioning a woman or women being cautious of him because they have a reasonable fear of being assaulted that's not the same thing.

Women take extra precautions as a matter of course in their daily every day lives to avoid sexual assault and worse. This is something they do both consciously and unconsciously. And still the most likely person to kill a woman is their male significant other or someone they know. Someone they probably trust.

There is a possibility that the person who told op this has trauma related to this. Maybe they lack the ability to communicate nuance. Maybe they are just an asshole. Maybe this was a specific attempt to get op specifically to leave them alone. We don't know the context.

They're likely basing it on a verse (that I don't have handy at the moment) but it says something to the effect that if a mans wife is raped by someone he has to pay a certain amount of silver to the husband in compensation. I couldn't tell you if it was old testament or not (probably though, sounds very old testament). I think the way it's phrased was something like "if a man lays with another man's woman, he must pay him X whatever".

And women are nervous in dating because if they trust the wrong person, they might get raped and murdered. Unfortunately, in the reality we live in, dating can't really be carefree. With more systemic issues addressed, perhaps it can be.

Get mad at the system of patriarchy that created this situation