It was someone in China working for a game company trying to flirt with you to get you to sign up and play their game with them
Too much crazy too fast. You gotta sit on that shit for a while, and then let it out slowly.
I got to "she has to go to bed" before I realised that this was all the same day.
Trauma dumping can be cathartic but perhaps maybe don't do it within the first two hours of having met someone. Also don't do it too much because your problems aren't there problems.
It's definitely a third date or beyond activity. When I was single, I always asked third dates to compare their emotional baggage with me, but wouldn't discuss it in depth until later. We all have it, so might as well bring it out but not all of it at once. Better to savor the pain.
Not being genuine is also bad you know.
I guess wait until the afternoon or something then?
Sometimes you gotta remember that everyone has their own shit going on, and it's a bit self-centered to assume, every time, that it has to do with you. Especially when it comes to online dating.
Fake: There are no girls on the internet
Gay: OP was flirting with a man
Fake: OP was flirting with a raccoon
Gay: OP talks about feelings
Way better, bravo
Too obvious and on the nose.
Yeah I've let myself down here. Had a good streak going but I'll let someone else take the wheel for a while.
online
There's your problem
> pretending to be a girl online so that i can get just a little attention from a human being for once
> talking to this guy, seems really sweet and we have a bunch of common interests
> mfw i actually start to really care about this guy
> he alludes to abandonment issues in his past
> ohno.jpg
> panic, tell him i have to go to bed
> try to go to bed but can't sleep from guilt
> can't bring myself to message him the truth that i am a girlpretender attention whore
> decide just blocking him is the least painful option for both of us
am i a bad person?
YTA.
Dare I say, fake and gay?
fake: anon has positive human interaction
gay: there are no girls on the internet
I bet everyone has pretended to be the opposite sex online. Maybe just for the giggles. But anyone who does that all the time, straight to hell.
or straight to therapy and hopefully a trans supportive community haha (not that it would excuse catfishing)
I can't find the original source right now, but a study found that 50% of men pretended at least once in their lives to be women online, whereas 0% of women pretended to be men.
I doubt the 0% part on women. I have met many women who claim to start off indicating they are male in online games, and avoid voice. Once they feel like they have a group of people who aren't going to perv on them they make their gender known.
I never have on purpose, but in games i like to play as female characters. This was very useful in runescape back in the mid-2000s. Desperate guys would just asume you were a girl IRL and give you free shit asking to be your boyfriend.
I got a load of grief for playing Fortnite as Penny, mainly from a family friend who kept banging on about "oh look, that's his type there!" or "like a buxom blonde, do you?"
I'm like motherfucker she's British and she's an engineer so I'm choosing to play as her because that's awesome as fuck, not because what's between the legs you fucking buffoon
If she'd started popping off about just playing Fortnite I'd have been "yeah fair enough mate, maybe I am a shithead" but the whole implied "you're a guy so you must fancy her if you're using a girl model" just really got on my tits... to use a poorly timed expression.
That's kind of a weird assumption. What qualifies as pretending? I don't think I have ever done that.
I'm a woman on Lemmy with a gender-neutral username, which means I don't have to try to "pretend" anything - people assume I'm a guy by default. Hell, it also happened back when I was on Reddit and used a female-coded username, which is even more confusing.
I can only imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on if they're able to easily convince others that they're women. Some people apparently take "there are no women on the internet" literally and can't seem to process when women appear online (in a non-porn context, at least. Which is really disheartening.) I've had people full-on argue with me that I couldn't really be female, because I once posted a picture that included my hand and apparently it "wasn't feminine enough." (That's what I get for keeping my nails short and disliking nail polish, I guess. Who knew even women's hands are expecting to conform to rigid gender expectations?)
imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on
Hello, fellow woman. Would you like to go to the bathroom together and have periods?
Just having a chill conversation with someone online.
They tell me that they've had their heart broken in the past and they're very sensitive.
mfw I had no idea this was a date is this person completely bonkers
that's okay, I'll be nice to you!
This you? 🧐
I would absolutely say something like that while freaking out - even though this is online and I'm not in any danger
Because men don't have a strong enough social support system to have cathartic talks about their emotions. Because women aren't willing to disproportionately shoulder emotional labor anymore.
The patriarchy hurts everyone. Normalize discussing mental health among men. Don't let stigma stop you from telling your friends from how much they mean to you and how you're here if they need to talk.
Don't let stigma stop you
Fully recognizing that my initial reaction to the word "stigma" makes me part of the problem.
stigma love and compassion into this relationship lmao gottem
homie needs to learn about talking to people in real life.
Unsolicited "good morning message" - is that what it's called now?
Never have I ever met someone real-life online 🍻
Those two worlds must not collide.
That's because online people aren't real. All paid actors and bots (sometimes both).
Just get used to rejection, until you become enlightened enough to realize that life is suffering and you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are.
Anyone telling you otherwise is stunting your growth.
This sounds like less of a truth and more like you are lashing out. Are you OK man?
Not only that, but the upvotes. So at least 4 people agree. Are you all ok?
It's a Buddhist misquote, it should read "there is suffering in life" but it's often interpreted as "life is suffering."
The intent is to express that our own desires and material wants are often the root causes of our suffering and if we can begin to understand that we can begin to free ourselves from the suffering that occurs in this existence.
But it does sound nihilistic as fuck on its own.
See that makes way more sense, but I’m rereading the original comment and I’m still not getting that. I’m guessing Buddha didn’t say “you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are”
Edit: I guess this is kinda similar. I don’t think I like the word “useful”. I prefer the below phrasing
The value of life is not based on how long we live, but how much we contribute to others
in our society.
or excusing poor behavior because of past pain. we're all responsible for our own actions.
NGL I do not miss keeping up with that shit. Its such a drag. Yet somehow waking up and saying good morning to someone is the shit.
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