Do a viking funeral. You know, that ceremony where you are sent out in a boat and a fire arrow is fired into the boat so it burns down while floating into the sunset.
But skip the boat. Have someone chuck you into the ocean and shoot arrows at you until you sink.
I want to be launched into the ocean with a catapult
Thank you so much for the info! I want to donate my body so I can be useful and help folks a final time. I have been getting awesome tattoos so my corpse looks dope as fuck
Native American pyre
"Sky burials" are probably cheaper.
Donate everything still working and the rest goes to a medical school for practice.
I think you can just not claim the body and the government will bury it in a pauper's grave or something, but there might be some downsides to rejecting the body entirely.
If you really want to stick it to the funeral industry, and you're including crematoriums and all other aspects in that, I think the only option is burial at sea.
Put it in your will that you want your friends and family to go on a deep-sea fishing cruise. Specify they must bring you along, and once they reach the approved and legal dumping location and have you naked and weighted so you sink, they can raise their glasses, make a toast, and pitch you over the side.
Meant to include this link:
That sounds like a good way to stick it to the funeral industry given that deep-sea fishing cruise is probably not cheap 👏
Probably not cheap, but it can be a fun time, and if you do it right, you can save money on chum.
Sky burial.
Do you have access to a woodchipper?
I have a wood chipper and an anatomy degree. It'd be a real bother to feed a body through a chipper. It'd all have to be chopped down to about the thickness of my wrist. Limbs sure, but head and torso would be so much work.
You'd want an industrial meat grinder like what they make dog food out of.
You'd want an industrial meat grinder like what they make dog food out of.
I don't know how well it will hold up but the book Wilt by Tom Sharp covered this in, what I recall being, quite hilarious detail.
Caveat: This book is from the 70's and a product of its time. While I recall enjoying it when I picked it up (decades later) as a teenager, a comedy about a depressed man who hates his wife and regularly fantasises about killing her, just sounds like misogynistic bullshit to me now, no matter how funny it is. But maybe it holds up somehow, idk.
I didn't realize that there were any illegal ways to dispose of a body, as long as it's in their will and sanitary
There's definitely some limitations. There was a bit of an issue in my state when a Mosque wanted to install a cemetery on their lot, but they were too close to the aquifer and weren't allowed.
That's kind of what I meant by sanitary. Idk what the appropriate word would be. "Safe" I guess?
Certain types of burial allow the body to potentially contaminate nearby soil. Others can leave behind a void that can either collapse and disrupt nearby graves, or in some cases lift the body back to the surface in heavy rain. (Extremely uncommon now because essentially nowhere allows you to use those methods)
Funeral pyres or other forms of open air cremation are generally not legal due to concerns of fire spreading.
Whole body water burial is probably not legal in a body of fresh water in the US due mostly to the complexity of figuring out which law applies to that circumstance in any of the bodies of water that could be used that wouldn't be grossly undersized and unsanitary. (Basically that means the Great lakes, which are the only ones with the depth and size sufficient, but are shared between multiple states and also Canada. Usually the rule is that if it's not forbidden it's permitted, but body disposal is more complicated)
have your homies smoke your ashes in a blunt
Ashes don't burn any further. That is why they are ashes.
The cheapest method is to abandon the body. People die without family all the time and the State has a method to dispose of unclaimed corpses. Cost $0
That doesn't stick it to the industry though. Still gets them paid. It's not about saving the money from what I can tell
Abandon the body on the doorstep of the funeral company you're angriest at. If there are several, first disassemble the body into as many pieces as there are doorsteps.
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