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Become irresistible to women (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 week ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnetophyta#Gnepine_hypothesis

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[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago

Honestly, he dodged a bullet. Imagine a taxonomist who wants to date another taxonomist. It's virtually guaranteed that their relationship would be non-stop fighting.

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

source

[-] knightly@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago

[Groundskeeper Willie Meme]

Damn taxonomists, they've ruined taxonomy! XD

[-] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Honestly, I don't think I could be with anyone who understood a single word of that wiki description.

[-] CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 week ago

after i read your comment, i actually asked myself a question: "why tf one would even like taxonomy?"

and i'm still asking

pls someone answer

[-] angrystego@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Because nerding knows no limits. Taxonomy rocks.

[-] CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 days ago

i see...

Take that, nerd!>:D

rustles your hair

[-] TomMasz@piefed.social 27 points 1 week ago

Poor dude is crying.

[-] primrosepathspeedrun@anarchist.nexus 23 points 1 week ago

He should; hes a fucking idiot.

[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago

Because she's a con[ifers] woman.

[-] recklessengagement@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Clicked that Wikipedia link and immediately had a stroke

[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

I can't blame you, it is pretty sexy reading.

[-] Gladaed@feddit.org 18 points 1 week ago

Can't understand or didn't know about? It's a very straightforward hypothesis, but implausible to know about.

[-] spinne@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago

Let's go with "can't understand," as in, "she gave a satisfactory explanation of the gnepine hypothesis, and he can't understand it." Because, as you've pointed out, it doesn't seem that hard, so maybe he should be crying as she leaves

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 9 points 1 week ago

This whole link is the exact nerd thing I needed to read rn (it's notable stuff in overall evolution, not just taxonomy), thx.

[-] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 week ago

Get out of my room, Peter Pan.

[-] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Bet the sex was as freaky as the molecular biology of plants. Trying to understand how conifers got their freak on over 200 million years ago? Fool's errand.

[-] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I want to pollinate you and cover you in pine cones," he whispered and she felt her sap run hot with desire. She shivered from more than the cool spring wind on her bark. His needles moved against hers in the breeze, tickling and prickling her deliciously and she could tell his wood was knotted and hard as his sticky sap dripped from it. She craved to feel him against her, branches and bark and overwhelming passion. And then she felt it, the microspores of his grainy discharge, carrying his potent gametophytes, exploded into her, settling among her needles. Her bark tingled with exquisite, syngamic release as her branches quivered in the cool spring wind and deep inside her ovules she felt his gametes fuse with hers. "Yes," she whispered in the wind. "Take me! Fertilize me! Give me your nuts!"

"You know I'm your half brother," he whispered as she shuddered in climax. "I don't care," she whispered back. "That makes it hotter."