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submitted 11 months ago by Annoyed_Crabby to c/malaysian_dating

Have you guys ever went through a LDR before?

My last relationship is a 1500km distance one. At first we both believe we can work it through, and she also reassure me it's worth it(my first relationship, but not for her), but whoop, in the end a tons of problem surfaced and it just doesn't work, so she breakup with me. That actually sour the whole relationship thing for me and i find myself having worsening trust issue since then.

Will i do it again? Yeah! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (but actually idk but maybe still yes lol)

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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

I'll never do it again

Ended up married to her :)

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 3 points 11 months ago

Aww, feel happy for you both!

[-] seacat 2 points 11 months ago

I did, twice! First didn’t work out. We held on for 4 years, but truthfully the distance masked our problems and we would’ve broken up way earlier. The breakup coincided with me moving for my Masters to a new uni, so you can imagine how messed up I was lol. Bad timing. Like you I had also given up on relationships, was barely even trying to make new friends even though the uni had the most sociable, welcoming people I’ve ever met (Cali hippies, what do you expect :D) I regret that now, that I was so caught up in that loss that I neglected my present.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 2 points 11 months ago
[-] seacat 3 points 11 months ago

Haha sorry. tbh my issues probably ran deeper than just the relationship. Easy for me to say I regret what I did/didn’t do now that it’s 10-15 years in the past. But those shitty days was not easy… I’d say you’re handling it way better than I did! I have no doubt you’ll figure out a way to come out of this funk soon enough! ❤️

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 1 points 11 months ago

Thanks, but i have doubt lol

[-] hyattpotter 1 points 11 months ago

I haven't, and I'm not sure if I could. The whole point of relo is to have someone to come home to, and I'm not much of a chatter tbh (despite what it might seem like online). I notice that once I get comfortable with someone, I stop chatter and just like their presence near me. It's number 1 signal that I'm in a great place with them: that I no longer have to keep talking to ensure that they are still interested in me.

Not sure if that's a good thing tbh lel.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 2 points 11 months ago

Same, i don't like chatter too, but i guess for guys that's a death sentence.

[-] hyattpotter 1 points 11 months ago

girls also ok uhuk

[-] rom1215_ 1 points 11 months ago

Both of my previous relationships went through a period of LDR. While I wouldn't say that the distance was the main factor for either of the relationship not working out, it certainly played a role in both indeed. The part about distance was mostly on that I am someone who thinks that direct communication - in person - is crucial in dealing with major problems in relationship, and being in different locations obviously makes this a challenge. But more so was that I had my own issues, had my own insecurities, so we didn't survive the challenges of LDR. Would I do it again? I'm not actively looking for it, for sure haha. But I'd like to think that I am growing as a person and partner, especially in working on my own issues and insecurities, so if I'm to get into this situation again, maybe we'd have a happy ending?

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 1 points 11 months ago

Same haha, i'm not active looking for it, but i feels like if it given the chance again i hope it's not too far. Cut off by sea might be what really break mine apart, and the breakup is just a message without having a chance to even speak to her.

Maybe that's for the best ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[-] Enchanted 1 points 11 months ago

Yes, my first relationship was LDR too. Ended when he cheated on me.

The next one also LDR, ended when he got too clingy.

Would I do it again? Prefer not to, I’m pretty soured towards LDR as well lol.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 1 points 11 months ago

Yeah, i might say i will do it but really, if i can choose i'd choose someone who is closer.

But a guy like me have no privilege of choice hahaha

[-] spartan 1 points 11 months ago

Is it just me or dating someone from the opposite end of KV/Selangor feels like an LDR??

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 1 points 11 months ago

I mean technically it's still quite long distance, KV/Selangor is quite big. I'm from Melaka and one edge to another is 50km, so if say Sepang to Sekinchan, that's hundred something km dy, comparable to melaka - KL.

this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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