I hate the porks so much.
I literally can’t get a job because none of these useless pigs ever want to expand their business and they always act strapped for cash at every single turn.
I’m not too lazy for capitalism, capitalism is too lazy for me.
Just one more tax cut, bro. Just one more, we promise.
the VP of People Experience deserves to experience 14,000 people who have just been fired.
You heard of PR. Now introducing PE
Now give me ten laps around the field
company with 1.5 million employees worldwide is now 'nimble' after firing 14,000 employees
Beth really thought 'nimble' was gonna work.
Dearest Shitcanned Employee,
You're fired. But we're nimble!
Sincerely,
Beth "Nimblemaxing" Galetti
“Don’t worry poor. While you’re homeless, take rest in knowing we’re thriving and we no longer need so many workers!”
Capitalism: where workers are punished for being too successful.
Truly the most infuriating part of the modern American capitalist machine is how smart it thinks it is.
Yes, we know what you're saying, it looks worse when you dress it up not better.
Nimblemaxing.
This is when the worker chooses to train themselves, as much as possible, for the sake of diversifying their portfolio, so that they can change their career path at a moment notice, should their employees no longer require their service.
It's called quietnimbling. Also related to quietnumbing; where one drinks alone every night to deal with living in hell.
Nimblemaxing
you are looking mighty nimble tonight 
Please no my nimbles are sore
That's just classic HR speak.
Just saying it again. HR roles are roles that attract former high school bullies.
look for any reason, no matter how small or minute, to keep jobs away from people. Literally you are paid to exclude people from the economy
You have no shame so you’re not embarrassed by pretending to be a quirky little dumbass who can’t read resumes or gets all scawed and confoosed when not everything is spoonfed to them, or just “forgetting” every step of the way. I swear, HR enjoys acting stupid.
Finding any excuse to fire everyone or not hire anyone and frame it not as porky’s incompetence, but porky having such high expectations actually.
Nimble? Nimble deez nuts!
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
