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Man who threw sandwich at US federal agent found not guilty of assault
(www.theguardian.com)
Sub beats wrap
The man who was hit with the sandwich was CBP agent Gregory Lairmore, who told the jury earlier this week that the sandwich “kind of exploded all over my uniform” and “smelled of onions and mustard”, according to the Washington Post. The defense pushed back, as it appeared in imagery from the scene that the sandwich did not leave its wrapper.
LOL, how is this not The Onion?
Anyway, it'd be nice to be able to sue the shit out of those responsible for wasting this guy's time, reinstall him in his job, and give him all back pay.
I wish in cases like these, the jury could sanction the prosecution, like not guilty, and we revoke your right to practice law for 90 days for being such fucking idiots and harming the accused, and wasting our fucking time.
Also just further on this... think of how many frivilious law suits could be prevented with that. Don't let the jury block them for a year, and maybe keep a harsher thing like 90 days for state/feds, but imagine if someone hires a lawyer to sue someone for something absolutely ridiculous, and they knew they would risk not being able to practice law for a week if they offend the jury for how stupid it was.
For civil suits, some states have something called anti-SLAP (?) laws, which try to do something similar by allowing the defendant to sue the plaintiff.
I still think just giving the jury some of that power on the spot would be better, now you're doing yet another lawsuit, and the lawyer isn't at risk if it's the defendent suing the plaintiff and you still gotta have the Jury rule on that when they could have just ruled on it on the spot the first time.
It's nice to know there is some recourse though.
I'm glad DC juries aren't putting up with Trump and Bondi's fascist shit
I revel in the fact that the cop is going to get roasted for this through out his career. We should start emailing quality puns to the department so they don't run out of fodder too quick.
Now sue them for $.
Or politicians need to be forced to vote to remove this immunity BS. We need to push for that and the removal of citizens United.
lol
Time to make more sandwiches and milkshakes
"This, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich" and after the federal agent claimed to have been smeared with mustard and onions, the defense showed a picture of the sandwich - still completely in its wrapper.
I was kind of hoping the defence would produce a receipt that confirmed it was a BLT without onions, hence proving the agent committed perjury.
"If the wrapper is still fit, you must acquit!"
Wait, so the cop didn't even actually get mustard and onions on him?
That was from the hamberders he ate for lunch
this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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