I don't see that at all. Perhaps you are just projecting your own issues onto Lemmy at large. I think you need to have a good hard look at yourself and your internal biases and then come back and apologise to all of us.
Well played.
Nice work!
Applicable to the early days of any platform. The early adopters are those that are comfortable being away from the masses on popular alternatives. They are aware their comments and posts will get less views and engagement and therefore can be less restrained. They also need to be relatively tech literate since it's less user friendly than more established platforms.
The result is you get a certain type of person that is more willing to speak their mind rather than craft the most acceptable response.
Lemmy is still more reddit influenced than old emerging platforms, so we get more of a mix which creates differing expectations.
Not saying it's good or bad, but once a platform develops and attracts the general public, there's usually an outcry for the "old days".
Because it's often the correct response.
Yea I'm remembering a post, which i sincerely hope was trolling, where someone was unemployed and played video games for most of the hours of the day and thought it was unreasonable that their partner wanted more interaction with them outside of gaming.
The handful of times I can remember seeing someone complaining about a situation being told they were the problem, it seemed to me that they likely really were the problem.
It's just like way back in team games, like Dota (the original one, I am old like that). People will always blame anyone but themselves, including their teammates. But in the end the only thing you can improve is your own game, even if that means accounting for other people's weaknesses.
But it never was something people liked to hear.
People seem to have an allergy to personal responsibility and taking initiative. Perhaps it IS their fault? Or at least, they're the people in the best position to fix things?
Seconding this. In most situations, the only thing you can change is yourself. If you want to improve things, you've got to do the work. Sometimes people think responsibility is the same thing as fault or blame, but, again, most of the time the person able to fix a bad situation won't be the one who caused it.
yep.
IME people who embrace personal responsibility generally don't whine/complain that much. those who do so pathologically... absolutely refuse to take responsibility for themselves and angry/frustrated that other people won't do it for them.
and the pathological people will hate anyone who calls them out. they will seek people who tell them it isn't their fault and how they are perfect as they are.
Were they by a nurse who keeps moving wards, but the other nurses in every ward are assholes?
A few things come to mind:
People don't seem to understand or care when a post is just to vent and the individual isn't looking for feedback. Some people have a really hard time not chiming in with their take.
It's a low effort reply that only requires a surface level understanding of the situation (and that might even be generous) so it's very tempting to people who are itching to chime in on everything.
Some people feel Very Smart when they make that comment because it means (in their view) that they are gifted at getting to the heart of the matter and seeing things as they truly are, without bias. There is also zero consequence to them being wrong about this.
Sometimes people get defensive when they see their own behaviors reflected through someone's vent post and it's now personal.
It's sometimes used as a general saying, like "You are the problem with this country nowadays", again the commenter feels real fucking smug about their pattern recognition skills.
I'm sure sometimes OP is the problem but I'm not sure it's possible to have enough information to make that kind of judgement.
People don't seem to understand or care when a post is just to vent and the individual isn't looking for feedback. Some people have a really hard time not chiming in with their take.
Reddit, Lemmy, and other Reddit-likes aren't unidirectional blogging platforms. Primarily they're link/image aggregators, but ever since the early introduction of comments, they're also places for people to share their thoughts on the things people link to and write. If you want a place to vent with no expectation of honest feedback, you should be using either 1) a community (shoehorned) within the Reddit-like which is expressly moderated that way or 2) a blog or microblog.
Ironically echoing the OP: you are the problem if you make a text post on one of these platforms just to vent at people and get offended that people give feedback.
There are a whole lot of assumptions in this reply lol.
I'm not offended, but it's a good example of people not seeking to understand what they are replying to before they add their two cents.
I understand this is what happens on the internet. It's not possible to communicate perfectly.
Beyond the rules/guidelines of the site and the community, someone commenting on a Reddit-like has no responsibility to filter what they write through the lens of what the author would want.
It's the poster's job to find a community that they find suitable for both what they're writing and what they want the comments to look like. That's how it works because Reddit-likes aren't blogs; they're shared spaces where everybody – within aforementioned rules/guidelines – is free to express exactly how they feel about anything.
You unduly shift responsibility onto the commenters for not acting the way the OP wants their vent sesh to go when it's the poster's responsibility to 1) know the comments exist and 2) understand that they're putting this work out into a shared space.
I'm not trying to explain how I think people should behave, I'm trying to answer a question about why I think people behave a certain way.
I think the niche nature of Lemmy attracts a large amount of ivory tower hipster types.
huh? ivory tower and hipster are mutually exclusive, unless you just meant both types?
every hipster i know hates education and academia. and i've never met a hipster academic.
i also identify as academic and anti-hipster. and every hipster i interact with hates my academic approaches towards life.
That's odd. 100% of the hipsters I know are at least college educated. And there's a few that have multiple degrees or masters in their fields
It's a common trait of young people, often young men. I used to be one, guilty of it myself. "You're the problem" stems from a lack of sympathy, because they haven't had many bad things happen to them, emotional nuance, because they're young, and lastly they're taught to be independent and "solely responsible for their situations." Therefore it's extremely frustrating for people like this to care about others because someone who needs care is antithetical to what they've been taught, and they're taking care of themselves so why can't you, weak person?
I want to emphasize that people like this are not bad people. They are probably kind and caring and everything people should be, but they can't stand people not taking care of themselves. They can learn, and I suspect most do when they get older.
so if someone keeps banging their head into a wall, and asks me why their head hurts, should i tell them how strong and brave they are and how stupid and mean that wall is for hurting their head like that?
also, who is it that is shouldn't be taking care of themselves? apart from children or elderly?
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