I'm sorry you are hurting. From someone with a lot of kids - sometimes what kids need is a trusted adult who isn't their parent. Or even a parent. My kids are all fighting for the position of childless aunt or uncle. You don't need to spawn kids for 'being good with kids' to be an asset.

But also as someone with lots of kids - if you want to raise or help kids there are ways to do that even if you don't personally want to reproduce. Half of mine came to me through marriage, and half those my husband adopted from a previous relationship. There is adoption, fostering, Big Brother, Guardian ad Litem, childless people ARE important to children, never doubt it.

I heavily leaned on parental figures outside my family. I know it's not the same and you're obviously still hurting because of what you feel like you've lost, but you can be a parent in many different ways.

Same boat, OP. Same boat. I have wanted to be a dad since I was tiny. Like, so bad. And it will likely never happen for me. I'm 34, and I get told by all my friends with kids how great I am with them, how good an uncle I am. And that's nice. But it hurts. It hurts a lot.

I don't want kids personally, so I don't know how the thought of never having them hurts you, nor how much this will help, but this is my experience:

I will never have kids of my own. Because of this, I have the time, energy and want to be a positive adult influence in a lot more childrens lives than if I had to raise just a couple of them full time.

And I don't mean just giving cool gifts intermittently, I mean discussing life and death, practicing managing emotions and using empathy, and building confidence and self-reliance through play and conversations. Talking about source checking, the effects of advertising, including hidden advertising in social media/influencers, and practicing body positivity. Working out how to handle peer-pressure, how to change your mind even if you've gone along with something, to say no when you're uncomfortable, and how to apologise when you've been unkind or even accidentally hurt someone.

There are so many things that kids need to practice over and over, and so many things they may not (want to) listen to their parents about, but other adults are still cool (especially at certain ages). That's where we come in. The other adults. The positive adult influences. The ones who are really good with kids, and with the ability to be really good to more than just descendants.

Ive been told the same but I actively dislike kids. Not to the kids, but adults that spend any time around me know to keep kids away from me.

Honesty told, theres always a possibility of you having children regardless. Fostering mostly and adoption are the 2 routes than need the most help, then theres being a step parent and lastly semen extraction and insemination.

Not having kids is not a detriment to your life