In Japanese, the English phrase “12 years old” is written as ‘12歳’ or “12才”.

Both “歳” and ‘才’ are read as “sai,” and “歳” is the standard form.

As an exception, since children in elementary education typically learn the character “歳” before “才,” it is sometimes common to write ages as “12才” during the period after learning ‘才’ but before learning “歳.”

reference:

「年齢」を「年令」、「○歳」を「○才」と書くことがありますが、正式にはどうなのでしょうか？｜漢字文化資料館 (Article in Japanese)

岁 "sui" in Mandarin. The word itself is a quantity, so you put the number before it, like 二十二岁 for 22 years old. When you're describing the age of a person, that person is, not has, that quantity. So "I am 22" would be 我是二十二岁 ("wo shi er shi er sui").

in order to get it right I'd have to burp and fart and shit my pants

Мне 15 лет

Russians use the dative case to indicate age along with the word summers, instead of the words “years” (I suspect you could hypothetically form a plural from the word for year, год, but I don’t think I’ve ever encountered it — лет, literally summers, is presented to language learners as the correct plural for year) and the present tense of the verb “to be” is elided most contexts, so most literally you would render it in English “to me fifteen summers”.

Tenho catorze anos. In Portuguese. Spelled out the number to make it weirder 😃

In my mother tongue, English, I specifically and annoyingly tell people how many trips I have taken around Sol. That number represents my age.

In Basque language we say "14 urte ditut" (literally "I am 14 years"). Some people say "14 urte dauzkat" (literally "I have 14 years"), probably due to Spanish language influence.

I'm from the North of England and we say "aye! t'was onna night most un'nartual, when good folk did pull down the shutters and bring their children reet close and 'uddle themselves away, for they couldn't rightly say if they wus hearing the howling of t'wind, the shrieking orra newborn, or the wailin of the beast, in this very valley [x] years/moons ago" and I think that's beautiful.

In Hungarian you would say "14 éves vagyok"

"vagyok" means "I am"

"éves" is "év" meaning "year" + "es" which is a suffix turning nouns into adjectives.

Spanish: Tengo catorce anos == I have fourteen buttholes

And this is why you shouldn’t skimp on your tildes.

In Plattdeutsch, it's Johr ik bün veerten Johr oold

It's just <Number>살 for us. The way the age is counted is a bit different. If you were using the standard way of calculating the age, you add 만 in front of it.

In my first language (English) a 14-year-old would day "I am 14 years old" which means "I am 14 years old"

In my distant second language (Spanish) they would say "tengo 14 años" which, like Italian, means "I have 14 years"

വയസ്സ്(Vayassu), പ്രായം(Prayam) in Malayalam

വയസ്സ്/പ്രായം 15 ആയ ആൾ(15 vayassu/praayam aaya) -> Person aged 15

Not sure if the transliteration is phonetically correct. And it seems formal. Maybe someone else can provide a better reply

In French it’s like in Italian, 'j’ai quatorze ans' (I have 14 years).

Sometimes people are saying their next age, 'je vais sur mes quinze ans' (I am going to my 15 years).

Ich bin 14 Jahre alt

мне 14 лет

"عمري ١٤ سنة" for Arabic, with your example.

(Pronounced ´umri arba´ ta´shar sana)

Age

In Hebrew you say "I am the child of X years"

אני בן\בת ארבע עשרה

Also the language is horrifically gendered. It's not my first language, but I know a bit