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[-] moshankey@lemmy.world 64 points 1 year ago

For the past 30 or so years I can truly write that only my wife hits those three marks. And she’s there doing it everyday. I adore her.

[-] Papanca@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Yesterday.

And i make it a point to make sure i make everyone i meet feel heard and seen. So, i might wave at people collecting garbage, i make eye contact with the cassier en give them a warm smile, while wishing them a nice day. I might smile at random strangers in the street. I have had beautiful experiences doing this, and quite frequently people give me this startled look and then hesitantly smile back. And i do this sincerely, because i truly belief most people have a hard time already and i want to give them at least a nice moment in the day.

It makes life so much better. For people i meet and for myself as well.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honestly, this can be very much be done and people crave it. People crave being noticed and affirmed and getting to engage with others on more than just a superficial level (as long as you respect their boundaries and recover if you faux pas at some point). People can be very gracious/graceful when someone reaches out to them in this way and will often "play-along" because I've noticed basically everyone refuses to be the first one to step out of their comfort zone and take a chance pal-ing around with a stranger but I can find a way to make most people comfortable and maybe even get a chuckle or 10.

Its been very good news for me and the good news for you is you can too, if only you do this ONE weird trick strangers love

[-] HerbalGamer@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

I might smile at random strangers in the street.

yeah that would make me nervous

[-] Papanca@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Usually, the nervous people won't make eye contact. And it's not really an 'in your face' contact i make, i try to be a bit subtle about it, if that makes sense. I never had anyone react as if it was unpleasant. For the record, it's not like i am this extravert person, i am very introverted and i had to learn this. But it was worth it.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

As long as its super toothy, its cool. Its cool to have teeth and the more, the merrier 😬

[-] 0485919158191@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Sounds like we have the same wife! High five

[-] moshankey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Mine’s taller. But if not, she’s truly wonderful. Enjoy her.

[-] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 7 points 1 year ago

I could say the same if I had a wife

[-] TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

One could say...I would also choose that guy's wife.

[-] adamantris@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago

In my sixth psych ward visit i finally felt heard by therapists for the first time. I always had symptoms that overlapped with ADHD and pretty much everyone dismissed my problems as not relevant before that.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

You can't not finish that story...🥺

[-] adamantris@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

update: i finally got my diagnosis today. getting medicated now, lets see how they affect me

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Nice! Do you feel comfortable sharing any more context or anything you wanna talk about? You can DM me or here or whatever

Edit: also, please, have yourself a good cry! And be gentle with you. You've come a long way, baby 😎😭

Edit: super picky small thing here but just give care to the way the language comes out sometimes. The "if you still care" thing is prolly completely innocent but it can be misheard or someone could take the more popular version espoused by Tony Soprano's mother ;) aha

[-] adamantris@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

the thing with if you still care is a fair point, i changed it

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Did you watch it?! Im actually not even 1000% she said it but the tenor of interactions between her and T Soprano is exactly the "if you even care about me [at all].

But yeah, no worries. Glad I might have saved you from a future jam aha

[-] TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

IMO, you got through the hard part. Trying out different medications takes months, but you aren't completely suffering during that time.

[-] quinnly@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

I felt the warmth of my cat cuddling next to me when I woke up this morning.

I saw the light of the moon shining into my bedroom.

I heard the buzz of traffic humming through my window.

I understood that I had to set my fantasy football lineup because I forgot to last night.

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
[-] aceshigh@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

The last time I shared in my support group. I can go to a meeting right now on zoom and be heard, seen and understood. I never knew the importance of support until I found my support group. (I’m in a 12 step).

[-] radix@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I'm glad it's working out for you.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If you ever find yourself getting into problem area with it, please look into Sinclair method (naltrexone). Its an important and less well-known approach.

Edit: more alcohol directed but im sure it has other applications

[-] aceshigh@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I wish I could take a pill for my issues. I’m doing inner child work with a 12 step.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Thats all swell but keep that in mind.

[-] jaspersgroove@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

When my mom was still alive.

13 years ago.

[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Jesus, in my teens maybe? So like two to three decades ago.

[-] lemann@lemmy.one 7 points 1 year ago

2016/2017 by a close friend, that was probably the last time I've had any kind of truly deep conversation with anyone.

Something happened that caused feelings of betrayal and I've kind of not really allowed myself to be that vulnerable since then

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Do you try ever-so-rarely to just like send them a quick ping with something you know of interest to them or inside-jokey?

Like just let them know you understand if they don't wish to respond and that you 100% respect the distance, but you might just rarely send them a little thing here or there that we maybe used to have fun texting each other with and that they can jump in any time they like or at the very least, if at that point they feel this way, to let you know once that they don't want anymore.

If there's radio silence you're still in the clear and onwards/upwards

[-] random_character_a@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

There are many shades of gray, but never absolutes from either side. Human communication mechanisms suck.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

The imperfectness of two people communicating create new thought and new possibilities though, because compromise is necessitated and new things are learned or looked at in novel ways due to this process.

Imagine talking with a clone of yourself, who gets every joke, every reference, and can finish your sentences. At first you'll think "cool!", but after realising that you have nothing new to say to each other, you will learn not to even try, since why bother finishing a sentence if the other person knows exactly what you are going to say?

I used to be in such a relationship. On the surface, it seemed ideal: she got my jokes, same culture, same group of friends, fantastic synergy. It was also the most stressful relationship I ever had. Imagine being locked in a mirrored room with yourself. I now date someone with a completely different culture and language. Communication is a constant problem, but we work towards it and learn new things along the way constantly. It's not perfect. But perfect is a special level of hell, reserved for narcissists.

[-] Jumi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Everytime I'm with my friends and that stays true even when my mind tries to tell me otherwise.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Week before last, at the men’s group meeting

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

What do you guys discuss? Like generally speaking?

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

This has become an everyday thing for me in real life, if not also online although I def slip up here and there. I think the most important part of mutual understanding is having a dynamic where you can be honest (while still being respectful) and have ways to tell each other that which is uncomfortable but necessary to prevent more resentment and misunderstanding and to have both peoples' boundaries be quickly established and vigorously respected.

[-] Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

It’s been a while if ever.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Nice try, newly-minted person that was heard and listened to 👂📯;)

[-] Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

Lol thank you I appreciate that. I’m a guy though so it’s hard to come by.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

People will listen here. Also, just talk more. People will recognize you anywhere if you go a lil off script ;)

[-] Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

Oh trust me I’m the loudest person I know but nobody worries about the life of the party.

[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Kinda why i love it but YMMV

[-] ThatGuy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

If it ever did happen, I definitely don't remember lol

Its rare for me to even relate to people.

this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
88 points (94.0% liked)

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