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What's a thought pattern that's way too common and damaging to society?

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[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

When people assume anything they don't personally understand is bullshit

They don't know how the spread of viruses works, so they conclude it's a conspiracy. Not only do they conclude this, they refuse to change the conclusion when presented with new information. You explain as simply as possible why pandemic precautions are taken and they just won't accept new information.

They don't understand how a person can be a gender different from what their genitals imply and so they assume such people are simply delusional. Look, I understand how one hearing about it for the first time might think that but even when new information about the topic is given to them, they just refuse to accept it. They can't get past "man penis woman vagina" no matter how much information is given, they assume if they didn't know it before it must be bullshit

I guess part of the reason they think this way is a need to defend their original position even if it's refuted with new information. To them, the goal of conversation and debate isn't to learn, it's to win. No matter what new information is given, they still need to come up with a way their original position is still correct. They see it a personal failure to have ever been wrong, not realizing it's a bigger personal failure to remain wrong when they have been informed and now know better

This rant got off my original point a bit. Sorry for the ramble. I guess what I've really identified is a bunch of interconnected unhealthy thought patterns

[-] shweddy@lemmy.world 57 points 6 days ago

Anti-intellectualism

Making fun of people for reading or learning or knowing "too much" about a thing

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As an autistic person, I kind of get self-conscious when people point out that I know a lot about a subject. Even when they mean it as a compliment it still kind of bothers me and I'm not sure why. For me, the amount I know about most topics doesn't feel impressive to me at all. People around me think I have encyclopediac knowledge of movies when I actually know very little about it compared to how much there is to know, I just know more about it than most of the people around me and am better at remembering facts than most people around me

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 13 points 6 days ago

i don't see anyone making fun of it, but i do seem people characterizing intellectuals as either disconnected and stuck up; or depressed and childless; or godless and doomed to hell for it and all of it is done with the vaguely hidden intention of warning everyone else against intellectual pursuits or else they'll end up like disconnected, depressed, and/or godless.

[-] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 46 points 6 days ago

Believing that poverty is a moral failure. Though that's been an issue for millenia.

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

It's really frustrating that so many people assume poor people are lazy and don't want to work when a lot of poor people are working multiple jobs and that's still not enough to "earn" the right to have their basic needs met

[-] GiorgioPerlasca@lemmy.ml 5 points 5 days ago

I guess it is more a thing of Western countries. Max Weber suggested that the Protestant Reformation, led to the belief that economic success was a sign of divine favor, legitimizing wealth inequality. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Protestant_Ethic_and_the_Spirit_of_Capitalism

In the case of the Soviet Union, Marxist-Leninist doctrine treated poverty as a product of class exploitation under capitalism rather than personal failure. Official discourse emphasized that unemployment, homelessness, and destitution were systemic features of bourgeois economies. Within Soviet society, this translated into a strong normative expectation that the state bore responsibility for guaranteeing employment, housing, and basic welfare. While in practice shortages and inequalities persisted, the cultural script did not legitimize blaming the poor; instead, marginalization was often interpreted as a failure of planning, bureaucracy, or remnants of pre-socialist class structures.

A comparable ideological orientation can be found in the People's Republic of China, particularly during the Maoist period. Under Mao Zedong, poverty was framed as the legacy of feudalism and imperialism. Campaigns such as land reform and collectivization were justified precisely on the premise that peasants were victims of structural oppression rather than agents of their own deprivation. Even in the post-1978 reform era, although market mechanisms reintroduced inequality, official rhetoric continues to stress “poverty alleviation” as a state-led responsibility, culminating in large-scale programs aimed at eradicating extreme poverty without moralizing the poor as individually culpable.

[-] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 45 points 6 days ago

Transphobia, racism, misogyny...

[-] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 35 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

"I don't like it so it must be bad" in relation to all kinds of media. So many people can't accept that something just isn't meant for them. There are literally thousands of games, movies and albums getting released every year so if you don't like something, just don't buy it and move on instead of complaining to (and sometimes about) those of us who are looking forward to it.

Edit: this might not strictly be the most toxic behavior but it makes social interactions super annoying, even in small groups and it seems to coincide with people who are overall fond of forcing their personal views and beliefs on others.

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

Yes, I quite agree. I get so irritated when people complain that a movie is coming out that they don't personally want to see. Why is it so hard to just not watch it? Thousands of other movies are coming out that you aren't watching. It's easier to not watch than to watch. Watching it takes effort.

I don't play video games at all. I don't go around whining "they should stop making video games, nobody wants to play them"

[-] RotatingParts@lemmy.ml 11 points 6 days ago

I think you nailed it when you wrote " forcing their personal views and beliefs on others". That is what we see happening now with people trying to control others. We see it in government and with religion. It is trickling down to where the common person feels it is not only okay to do, but that they must do it to compete with others and get ahead.

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[-] Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 10 points 5 days ago

That a life has to be made worth something instead of it being intrinsically valuable.

That with hard work, grit, and determination you can become wealthy in the USA too.

[-] JoYo@lemmy.ml 12 points 5 days ago

I don't owe you anything.

Well, that's the social contract that define's society. It's literally damaging to society.

Anyone I've heard say this IRL is usually mid act of going out of their way to antagonize everyone around them for absolutely no reason.

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

on the flipside, ime this can look like drawing necessary boundaries too.

[-] jtrek@startrek.website 19 points 6 days ago

Conservatism, probably. The whole in-group supremacy thing is pretty bad.

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[-] iByteABit@lemmy.ml 17 points 5 days ago

Probably not the worst, but my personal worst that comes to mind is manosphere bullshit that spreads like wildfire among men who aren't happy with their life. I can sadly even see it with some friends, they don't fully buy into it but most men are vulnerable to it because it's an easy "solution".

[-] choihanna@lemmy.zip 10 points 5 days ago

That all men are evil, I admit I'm a sinner of this. My terrible experiences make me think men are evil but I know that's wrong and toxic I'm working on it. I must admit tho that these experiences constantly happening are making it too difficult 🙃

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

I read something the other day that sorta explains this. I felt the same way you do. But what I read was that women know that all men aren’t evil. But they aren’t sure which one’s are. It just clicked in my head and helped me understand the mentality.

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

That's the same reason people don't trust cops. Some cops are good but you can't always be sure which ones are bad and so interacting with any of them is risky

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

You are not wrong.

[-] fiat_lux@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago

Trauma responses are hard. I think it's great you're actively working on it and are conscious of your own biases, that's huge. Good luck!

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[-] Krusty@quokk.au 10 points 5 days ago

“Most toxic” depends on who’s annoyed this week, but there are a few recurring mental habits that reliably rot discourse without even trying.

My biggest pet peeve is probably moral absolutism, often disguised as clarity. That’s the mindset where everything gets forced into clean categories of pure good vs pure evil, with zero tolerance for the rainbow of nuance.

Next up is identity-as-proof. If someone is in Group X, then they must believe Y, and any counterexample is treated as an anomaly or betrayal. It saves effort because you don’t have to think, just sort people into bins and react accordingly.

Then there’s algorithmic certainty syndrome, which is more modern and a bit more subtle. People get used to feeds that reinforce their priors so efficiently that disagreement starts to feel like statistical noise. So instead of updating beliefs, they just escalate confidence. Nothing says “epistemic humility” like being completely wrong with confidence.

Another one is transactional morality: “If I’m right, I’m allowed to be as harsh as I want.” Which turns every disagreement into a license for cruelty, as if correctness automatically comes with behavioral immunity.

And underneath a lot of it is something simpler and more disconcerting: comfort with not understanding things before judging them. People are so eager to tell others what they are by labeling them and defining them rather than simply talking about themselves (you... vs. I...)

[-] daggermoon@piefed.world 9 points 5 days ago

I'd say nihilism and apathy. Of course life has no objective meaning, it has the meaning we assign to it. I remember someone telling me "humans are selfish, we can't change things for the better" or something to that effect. It really pissed me off. With that attitude, you sure as shit can't. If we all came together, we absolutely could force positive change.

[-] PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

The fact that life has no inherent meaning is my primary motivator to give it meaning. No one decides what I mean except me, and I say I mean something.

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[-] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago
[-] PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

I will never understand people who think they already know everything they need to know.

[-] cinoreus@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Thing is, sometimes it takes more effort to know something than you have the energy to put.

[-] nomecks@lemmy.wtf 11 points 6 days ago

That they're player 1 and everyone else is an NPC.

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

Yes, main character syndrome. They have no awareness of their actions from another person's perspective. They play by different rules than they expect others to play by because they're the main character

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[-] kibiz0r@midwest.social 10 points 5 days ago

That efficiency is an absolute good.

[-] ALiteralCabbage@feddit.uk 4 points 5 days ago

Additionally - That asset stripping and profiteering are "efficient". It's a bit of a euphemism at this point I think.

Most companies I've worked for have cut their resources to the bone in search of efficiencies which are more accurately described as shareholder profit maximisations, but are pitched as "just in time" operation. Why hire two people when one can do a good enough job at half the pay. Why fabricate something locally when we can get a third party in SE Asia to make the same thing for peanuts and then charge EU pricing in our market.

Neither maximise efficient operations, just the efficient extraction of profit.

[-] _lunar@lemmy.ml 10 points 6 days ago

that having awareness of misogyny is actually misandry

[-] itkovian@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

One thing I noticed in India, and perhaps elsewhere too that happiness is on the other side of whatever goal one has, usually something that is sold as hustle or hardwork. I am not talking about people who don't earn enough to afford even basics and are told that they don't earn enough because they don't work hard enough. These people are simply playing a rigged game.

I am talking about usually well-off people who earn enough, but not enough to be happy. These people don't realize that in their case happiness is just due to an internal lack and not due to external factors. These people try to buy and consume in order to fill a void that cannot be filled through external stuff or status.

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[-] pineapple@lemmy.ml 7 points 5 days ago

Way too many young people (in the west, I'm not sure about elsewhere) are extremely pessimistic about the future. They aren't necessarily wrong they also feel like they don't have any control. It definitely opens a window for radicalisation, but it's just sad to see.

[-] farbidden_lands@quokk.au 8 points 6 days ago

That even minor discomfort is an enemy and should be treated with medication or distractions.

Assuming the worst about people.

It's so common and pervasive that even as I was reading the comments thinking about it, I fell for it while reading one of the comments.

[-] nimrod06@lemmy.ml -2 points 3 days ago
[-] network_switch@lemmy.ml 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

People have warped views about where is worthy of living. In the US people are all about big coastal/hip cities. Like Portland and Austin aren't coastal but they're still hip. That wouldn't be so bad if they didn't trash on non-coastal cities. I don't know how these people think to build some sort of working class solidarity when you shit on the homes of the majority of peoples who may not want to live in a dense city environment

Similar to that is weird exoticism of people in other countries and their lifestyles. Like I've known people that have moved from the US to Ecuador to escape growing fascism and I'm puzzled that they must have done zero research into this. Same with moving from the US to France because they're anti-imperialist and I'm just puzzled. France has been continuously imperialist for centuries. No pause.

Then the ones that self-style as a refugee when moving to a poorer country. You're moving from a wealthy country with your savings and many of your belongings, often keeping your job but working remote, often keeping your citizenship. These people have more in common with European colonists in America than someone escaping war in southeast asia 50 years ago or like Sudanese refugees today. These people are also very awkward to talk to these actual refugees and their children especially when they're living wherever they can in a country to make it rather than like Seattle

All that really to say about how little interest people want to be a part of uplifting their home communities. Their countries communities. I don't care how little you care for Oklahoma because of politics, you should want people to thrive there. Especially if you fancy yourself some social progressive that cares about native Americans

And this warped view ends up having people spend so much money on things that aren't needed to make them happy. Maybe you see way funnier stuff at improv shows in New York City. That doesn't mean you can't have a good time at one in Omaha Nebraska. You can help grow that. Too many people that just want to move to a city and consume and get pissed off that the cities with built out amenities are expensive. So then move to a cheap country and continue to contribute nothing. Just consume. So move to Ecuador to be rich and contribute nothing culturally nor politically to prevent some fascistic rise they "fled" growing in the US or France or UK, etc

I view it like a supercharged American moderate that MLK Jr spoke about that people love to cite. The American moderate shares that video to claim they're not a moderate. People in wealthy countries find any reason to not have to be a part of change and hope they can move to their ideal community that will entertain them. And in the case of moving to a poorer country, their ideal home wasn't actually leftism and setting up their communities to thrive in the future - it was being rich. It's a lot worse today I believe because of social media. A lot of people consume enough self help books and socializing tips YouTube along with lifestyle influencers and now we have an impotent leftist movement. Approach to lifestyle like a wealthy conservative but wrap it in messaging of wellness, socialism, whatever

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[-] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 4 points 5 days ago

anthropomorphising pets. IMO it's a mental condition.

Climate change ignorance on the other hand is existential to civilisations existence and is being ignored, so humans are able to jump through all sorts of mental hoops

[-] deathbird@mander.xyz 3 points 5 days ago

Words can cause harm, but can't change minds.

[-] swelter_spark@reddthat.com 4 points 5 days ago

The idea that the average person is stupid, and has no desire or ability to learn anything new.

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[-] sexy_peach@feddit.org 4 points 5 days ago

I often see it online and I think in the western world: everything is bad. Like sure there are a lot of problems, but this will never change. Even near utopia people will feel like the last bit of problem is unbearable, because it kind of is. But don't have it stop you from living your life because not being able to help yourself will also stop you from being able to help others.

Things might actively get worse or better. Who cares what value is in that knowledge.

I know it's because many people have clinical depression, I struggled with it for a long time. If you find that you believe that the world is a bad place - most healthy people disagree. It's hard to believe but it's true. Maybe ask some people around you if they like their life, how much they enjoy themselves, how bad they feel when doing chores etc. Most things in life are bearable. 🖤

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this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
44 points (95.8% liked)

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