71
submitted 2 years ago by tetris11@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] simple@lemm.ee 64 points 2 years ago

Nothing. I've read enough Monkey's Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.

[-] GammaGames@beehaw.org 37 points 2 years ago

Poof, you now have nothing

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 years ago

That's still a step up for some people

[-] otter@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago

We've also got a growing community for these: !monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

[-] Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

You end up with a genie begging you to make a wish every waking moment of your life, ala "three thousand years of longing"

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee 38 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'd get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.

Then I'd probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.

Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.

[-] ramble81@lemm.ee 17 points 2 years ago

Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.

[-] Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago

If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren't there to follow the law, they're there to see that the contract is logistically sound.

If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there's really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he's just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] hansl@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!

[-] Jamie@jamie.moe 13 points 2 years ago

There are far too many ways for an immortality wish to make your life hell in ways that a money wish uh, wishes it could.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Enjoy living to see the heat death of the universe in 10^100 years or so.

[-] Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

Immortality has its own set of complications. Like seeing everyone you love die. Out living the earth, solar system. Being stuck for eternity in the heat death of the universe. I mean, I guess a longer life but not immortal might be desirable. Personally, my only wish would be to live comfortably.

[-] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 7 points 2 years ago

“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think

[-] MJBrune@beehaw.org 5 points 2 years ago

there is no intentional curse but making you immortal is what the average human wishes for. Genie argues that it's truly a bonus. You live a normal natural life, but instead of dying, you keep living. The money stops, and you live forever. Having to return to work after not working your entire life.

[-] Susaga@ttrpg.network 34 points 2 years ago

I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.

[-] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago

Granted. You’re now a masochist.

[-] Susaga@ttrpg.network 18 points 2 years ago

Sure, that works. Curse me harder, daddy. Because of you, I like it.

[-] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Granted. But you didn't wish anything for yourself so nothing happens to you or for you. The next person to meet the genie enjoys the outcome of their wish.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 33 points 2 years ago

I would wish for a better genie.

[-] maeries@feddit.de 32 points 2 years ago

A genie emerges that's even better at cursing your whish

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 years ago

A genie emerges from the lamp, and promises to try to curse you less

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

Darn, I thought I nailed that one.

[-] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 23 points 2 years ago

Hm, sound like abuse of power to me. I'd wish for the genie to lose the ability to grant wishes. It needs to be cursed though, so I'd have to help with that.

Since it can still offer wishes, just not grant them... I'd help it learn to code. It could have a bright future as the CTO of a tech startup in the next hype cycle. I would not invest.

I wonder how many times this has already happened.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

Whatever bad thing happens to me, the same will happen to the genie twice.

I just hope he's not a masochist.

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Considering the high probability the djinn has spent centuries locked inside a small vessel, completely alone, the chances roll towards harboring sadistic wishes of revenge.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] bestusername@aussie.zone 14 points 2 years ago
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 years ago

I wish for the genie to have never existed in the first place.

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Thanks for the paradox bub.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Police to always be lawful good

[-] roo@lemmy.one 8 points 2 years ago

Teen suicide rate multiplies after the police destroy youth culture with constant surveillance.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"I wish for whatever I would get if an alternate version of me who were much smarter, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, less selfish, much less short sighted, much more creative and much more prepared to word the perfect wish, WHILE STILL BEING ME with my values, goals, principles and desires were making a wish from an alternate version of YOU who tries to bless wishes, instead of cursing them."

(also, I know how to fuck this one up)

[-] Susaga@ttrpg.network 10 points 2 years ago

Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else's health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you've proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Chapo_is_Red@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I wouldn't wish. Shit always goes bad. Best cass scenario I learn a "valuable lesson" through some kinda hackneyed adventure. In the worst case scenario I'm cursed for eternity or some shit

[-] Fleur__@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago
[-] moody@lemmings.world 10 points 2 years ago

You get a different genie who doesn't grant any wishes.

[-] inspxtr@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I wish for a new genie that grants wishes successfully but never tries or succeeds in cursing my wishes.

[-] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 years ago

Granted. You didn't specify where, so it exists somewhere within the universe.

[-] SethranKada@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago

Good luck. Even twisted, Good fortune is always a boon worth having.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
71 points (93.8% liked)

Asklemmy

49218 readers
944 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS