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submitted 6 days ago by cm0002@lemdro.id to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] Starik@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Ok, then wtf is this?

[-] foodandart@lemmy.zip 72 points 6 days ago

Hey!!! Now, waitaminit!

Those "pieces of shit" do a bang up job of keeping the caterpilars and other pest creepy-crawlies off the fruiting trees.

NGL, have a friend whose house has 2-inch eaves (not soffits) that are lined each summer with wasps nests.

They do nothing but ferry all the caterpillars off the peach trees to their nests all summer long.

Also, as there are always people outside on the porch, the wasps are totally chill with everyone and no one has ever been stung or swooped at.

(Friend shares the bounty.. we get lots of peaches for their diligent work.. peach pies, peach cobbler, peach schnapps, peach jam, peaches with ice cream... you get the idea...)

It's about being a part of the territory, not an interloper.

I like the wasps.. now the white faced hornets.. that's another story. Utter cunts, those ones are.

[-] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 26 points 6 days ago

Also, as there are always people outside on the porch, the wasps are totally chill with everyone and no one has ever been stung or swooped at.

In the States, our yellowjackets don't swoop and sting much, but they have a super-annoying tendency to hover over one's food. Possibly the behavior's a bit different where you are, possibly via related but different species.

[-] ryannathans@aussie.zone 8 points 6 days ago

We have wasps that love meat here, they come and sit at the table at your picnics. They're still friends though, even when you're fighting ten for a piece of sushi. They don't sting even when you accidentally hit them swatting them away

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 6 days ago

Wasps are always invited to the cookout!

They actually scare away the flies from what I've seen. Flies puke on your food, wasps chomp intentionally leaving less fluids.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

They never can seem to make up their minds. IM OVER HER IM OVER HERE NOW IM OVER HERE WHAT IS THAT LET'S LOOK AT IT FROM OVER HERE WOOPS NO LETS GO BACK HANG ON I'M OVER HERE NOW HOW ABOUT OVER HERE

Like dude you can have a sip of my soda I'll leave a splash right here just make up your mind take what you want and go. away.

[-] Telodzrum@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

It’s particularly bad in late summer and early fall, when their diet shifts to be more protein-rich — human food tends to be more appealing.

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[-] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

We have ground wasps here, one of the types that we call yellow jackets. Take a step in the wrong spot and you will be swarmed. They're tiny little tenacious stingy bastards that, I swear to god, keep stinging past death. My mom once stepped on a hive, got swarmed, and ran inside. Our dog was curious, she also got swarmed and went inside. I was on my computer, headphones on, and I hear howling, from both Mom and dog. I ran out thinking they were being murdered. My mom was trying to brush them off her clothes but they just clung on, so I just started smacking her. The dog ate at least one. Then they attacked me and I got stung all over my arms and head, including in my ear. I almost passed out from the pain. My poor dog had a swollen nose and a new fear. My mom was in so much pain we almost took her to the hospital. My ear hurt for days.

I murdered those bastards with prejudice. And chemicals. And then fire. Nobody attacks my mother. Or my dogs.

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 6 days ago

Hell yeah! I'm so glad for lemmy opposed to reddit cause I see some wasp defense here! Wasps are bros.

[-] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I have no real ill will towards any bug that is outside other than horse flies. Horse flies can go to hell. Fucking bastards bite just for fun

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[-] zanyllama52@infosec.pub 25 points 6 days ago

Downvoted for self-censorship

You can't say shit on the internet anymore, or what?

[-] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

I do this automatically now too. It doesn't matter the quality of the content, if it's self censored like this I downvote.

[-] x00z@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago
[-] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago

I'll have you know this is a Christian server. Now, no most swearing or being gay, both are bad.

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 33 points 6 days ago

I am honor bound to come wasps' defense. They are very cool critters! The vast majority cannot and do not harm humans, and are largely an ecological boon. They prey on cultured crops pests. Some even specifically prey on roaches.

I've lived in paper wasp territory my whole ass life and only been stung twice, and it wasn't even all that bad. Like the pain was gone in a minute tops. And I consistently stick my hand and fingers into unexplored, and frequently inappropriate, areas.

Wasps are bros as much as spiders are. I would argue more so because they actively hunt pests, and are responsible for far less human deaths than spiders.

[-] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Wasps are bros as much as spiders are.

Just not bros to spiders. What parasitoid wasps do to spiders/other victims is nearly as nightmarish as what spiders do to their prey. Definitely a match made in hell.

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 6 days ago

Yeah, the turantula hawk is next level vicious.

Also one of the few that really suck to be stung by.

[-] brown567@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

This species of wasp lays eggs in another species of wasp that lays eggs in a couple species of butterfly that lay eggs on various plants, effectively making them a parasite of a parasite of a parasite =)

[-] iocase@lemmy.zip 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

You just reminded me of this exterminator guy I watch on YouTube who actually collects wasp nests and rehomes them on his property. He says they kill mosquitos and basically nay pest you'd be concerned about.

The aggressive species get fed to his chickens lol.

Edit: I think it's hornet king Link

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[-] frosch@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago

And I consistently stick my hand and fingers into unexplored, and frequently inappropriate, areas.

... Like... In general, or regarding the paper wasps?

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 6 days ago

Both, they like building their nests in peculiar places.

[-] deft@lemmy.wtf 7 points 6 days ago

Agreed. Cicada killers are like the coolest bug in my area. As a kid I used to imagine that would be my Pokemon

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[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 28 points 6 days ago

Yellow jackets are mean, but don't confuse them with paper wasps which are chill little dudes. They'd rather head bump you to get you away than sting you.

[-] merde@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 days ago

paper wasps are not "chill little dudes"

one of the most painful experiences of my life. a dozen stings on my left hand and for a moment i didn't even know what was happening to me. As painful as a good dose of 220 volts through your arm

i still kept them around though. As a gardener, they're your friends. i stopped using those tools around which they built their hive

When you pass by their hive, they follow your movements. They turn to keep you in sight … one feels them staring 😬

[-] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yea, yellow jackets are bumbling annoyances around anything sweet.

Paper wasps are aggressive bastards who will sting just cause you were in their line of sight.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

yellow jackets are ~~bumbling annoyances~~ flying terrorists who are personally offended that you have ~~around~~ anything sweet and would kill you for it if they could.

There, fixed it for you.

[-] lurch@sh.itjust.works 22 points 6 days ago

actually the wasp eats pests. but it's also very ignorant when it senses food. so yeah, i get the resentment

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 18 points 6 days ago

So do bats. I propose we trade all of the wasps for some quantity of bats.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Bats are straight UP homies. Them and dragonflies. Did you know dragon flies are mid air hunters with a 100% success kill rate? I think Sir Savid Attenborough said about their predatory prowess, and I quote, "like hunting kites with a motherfucking Apache attack helicopter, yo"

[-] gaiussabinus@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

You want hemoragic fevers? That's how you get hemoragic fevers.

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[-] tomiant@piefed.social 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Hornets are cool though! They eat very specific pests that nothing else will kill- flies, horse flies, flesh flies, and they catchem mid air, also bark beetles and some other nasty fuckers. They're also pollinators, and did you know they're actually way chiller than honey bees? Honey bees be straight up gangbangers in comparison, they unruly. In most of Europe they're a protected species and you can be fined like A LOT if you get caught killing one. You'll obviously never be caught but still.

Hornets only give a fuck if you're within 5 meters of their nest and then they will let you KNOW they ain't playin'.

Wasps can suck a dick tho.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I've only ever been stung by wasps. I was never doing anything to them, they came near me, I didn't even move, stung me and then flew away.

I am not sure what part of the ecosystem wasps are filling but I'm prepared to wipe them out and see if it makes any difference.

The worst of bumblebee has ever done is flown into me, but they do have a surprising amount of mess behind them.

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[-] foxwolf@pawb.social 7 points 5 days ago

Please learn the difference between PAPER WASPS (non-aggressive) and YELLOW JACKETS (super aggressive). They both look like the one on the far right, but paper wasps are friend.

Sorry this is basically an ad for a pest control company, but it does a good job at explaining the differences: https://www.lindseypest.com/resource-center/post/paper-wasps-vs-yellow-jackets-whats-the-difference

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago

Yellowjackets are rage with wings. Fuck the little bastards.

They give other wasps a bad rap.

[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I used to live in a house with 2 pear trees. I quickly learned to pick up any fallen fruit, because the pear juice would ferment under the skin in the warm summer sun, the yellow jackets would pierce the skin and drink the pear liqueur, and then drunkenly chase me around the yard. Turns out, yellow jackets are belligerent drunks, which is, frankly, not surprising.

[-] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 6 days ago

I fucking hate these guys...

Indian yellow wasp, aka Ropalidia marginata.

[-] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 5 points 6 days ago
[-] silver@das-eck.haus 11 points 6 days ago

Nah these guys are chill. They kill all the pests in my garden and don't bother with me at all

[-] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

My dad calls them flying Ferrari knife-shits. Cause they look fast like a Ferrari but also are shits with knife butts.

[-] ThanksObama@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago

Replace "piece of shit" with "avoid this asshole". Take these jerks over mosquitoes or ticks any day.

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 5 points 6 days ago

Haven't even thought about ticks in a few years. I cultured my property to encourage a diverse local fauna, which results in very few of the fuckers.

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[-] melfie@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

When I was a kid, I used to turn over the landscaping timbers around the house to find lizards and such to catch. One time, wasps had built a huge nest under one and I ripped the nest open when I turned it over. Man, did those things sting the ever-loving shit out of me. My whole body was covered in stings.

Any nest I found after that, I made it my mission to get rid of it. I’d put on whatever clothes I had like winter gloves, long sleeve shirts helmets, etc. Of course, whatever I put on always seemed insufficient to protect me and I’d still get the shit stung out of me. What a dumb kid.

[-] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

If we could somehow get the yellowjackets to hunt down ticks then maybe we could come to an agreeable truce

[-] DancingBear@midwest.social 5 points 6 days ago

There are either dozens or hundreds or thousands of species of insects that have evolved to look similar to wasps and hornets and bees that can’t actually sting. Protect your native bees however you can.

[-] gerryflap@feddit.nl 3 points 5 days ago

Wasps aren't bees. And most wasps don't suck, just yellow jackets and maybe a few other species that I'm not familiar with. European Hornets are quite chill too, as long as they don't get stuck in my house and get mad. And I presume they're all useful, even yellow jackets, but unlike the rest of them, the yellow jackets don't seem to understand when to fuck off.

I have a huge pine tree next to my apartment, it towers above the apartment building. In the past month (maybe more), the thing is basically buzzing all the time. It's a bumblebee invasion, hundreds of them. But we also get many European Hornets and the occasional wasp. It's quite impressive to see, in a time where all these specifies are under huge pressure, this massive tree seems to almost single-handedly feed multiple colonies of different species. Makes me realize how important even a single tree can be. Also for my entertainment, because I love to be on the balcony and stare at the activity in the tree a few meters away. Interestingly enough I also have only had one bumblebee enter the house accidentally, and nothing else, despite having doors and windows open almost continuously the last weeks

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago

Fuckin' influencer wasps.

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this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
362 points (84.8% liked)

Funny

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