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submitted 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) by inari@piefed.zip to c/globalnews@lemmy.zip
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[-] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

You mean the guy who triggered Iran to do the thing they've threatened to do for decades in order to disctract America from the Epstein Files scandal can't get that toothpaste back in the tube?

[-] Rothe@piefed.social 16 points 12 hours ago

Wall Street is a bit slow in the head it seems, but I guess they will get there if you give them enough time.

[-] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 7 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)
[-] bmebenji@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 11 hours ago

TIL I’m better at predicting the future than the average Wall Streeter. Maybe I should get into Wall Streeting.

[-] JakenVeina@midwest.social 7 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Being successful on Wall Street isn't about being smart, it's about having connections and being willing to commit fraud.

[-] IronBird@lemmy.world 0 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

eh, doesnt take smarts or insider knowledge to buy low sell high. if anything smarts hurts you in fintech industry...you second guess your plays too much

[-] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 4 points 9 hours ago

Finance people are so damn willfully clueless.

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 9 hours ago

I'm assuming the Wall Street people assumed Trump's just doing this to manipulate the markets and make a bunch of money, but now it's starting to seem like MAYBE he's just stuck and completely fucked.

[-] Foni@piefed.zip 60 points 17 hours ago

Translation: People who work on Wall Street are slow as hell.

[-] swearengen@sopuli.xyz 27 points 16 hours ago

Perpetual optimists as long as the guy in power has an (R) next to his name.

If this happened under Biden the market would have freaked the fuck out.

[-] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago

I mean it did freak out at first, but line must go up

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 14 points 15 hours ago

If you want to speed them up, you've got to open the windows first.

[-] goatmeal@midwest.social 7 points 11 hours ago

*won’t, not can’t

I feel like they’ve sabotaged it everytime it’s been close

[-] FrankFrankson@lemmy.world 69 points 17 hours ago

What tipped them off? Was it when Iran broke off all peace talks and said they would keep the straight closed? Gosh these wallstreet fellas are smart!

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

These people are all cokeheads.

[-] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 19 points 15 hours ago

Man, leopards getting seriously overweight lately…

[-] RogueBanana@piefed.zip 22 points 16 hours ago

He absolutely can. Just admit defeat and walk away in shame. But his pride probably wouldn't allow that.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 12 points 15 hours ago

Nah Iran wouldnt just "reopen" the straight even if Trump did that.

[-] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 8 points 12 hours ago

It would reopen it and charge a toll. At this point, that might be preferable to 20% of the world’s oil market being cut off, but that result makes Trump look like a complete loser.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 2 points 11 hours ago

That's not really "open" though.

[-] null@lemmy.org 2 points 16 hours ago

His cankles either.

[-] Clutter@sh.itjust.works 29 points 17 hours ago

What tipped them off? Everything Trump has ever done and said?

(Read as: destroyed and then lied about)

[-] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 9 points 14 hours ago

Play stupid games win stupid prizes

[-] Dippy@beehaw.org 6 points 13 hours ago

Whaaaaaaaat?

[-] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 19 points 17 hours ago

Yeah no shit Sherlock.

this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
159 points (98.8% liked)

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