A hitman 😃

Based on experience with stores in my area currently? Groceries. Incorrect and forgotten items, incorrect prices, wilted produce, nearly thawed frozen foods, swapping significantly more expensive alternatives despite my checking the "do not substitute" option.

Anything that is advertised by youtubers and podcasters. You have to be a special kind of gullible to buy from these new age door to door salesman

I dont fuck with doordash or ubereats, try not to get pizza delivered either if I can help it. Markup is ridiculous along with expected tip.

Anything that goes directly in or on my body unless it's bought direct from the manufacturer. You can never be 100% sure that food, supplements, shampoo, soap, etc. on amazon aren't fake/counterfeit.

Bombs. The post office HATE that.

A majority of the things that sponsor YouTube videos. As great as much of that stuff is, one must not forget the reason many people advertise products online is to serve as a loophole when something about it is too questionable for the stores. I previously mentioned MagicSpoon cereal for example, and as good as it might be in moderation, it's a well-known FDA nightmare because things with artificial sweeteners are so antsy to get themselves on shelves. Probably my favorite example though is Established Titles, which I'm known to simultaneously make fun of often, point out how over-the-top it is with its scammy reputation, and admire its intentions since it's technically trying to help in ways that surpass Ecosia (and to the next person who replies to this, that's Lady Leni to you!)

Any clothing other than T-Shirts. The sizing is almost always wrong from what the store says it is. I don't even order a lot of shirts online because 90% of the time, I check the sizing and their 3XL size is the size of every normal place's small.

I liked Hyena Agenda and Nomad Complex... But they both shut down earlier this year :(

Anything I can pick up in a store, during a less than 30 minute bike ride. I live in a European city, so that means almost everything.

Anything that I can buy myself in a store. I am so. frigging. tired. of tripping over personal shoppers with monster carts. How hard can it be to let the overnight shift fill those orders?

Pants bro. I'm a dude and I got some tree trunk thighs and a big ass. I can only wear relaxed fit or classic fit, and even then they're still skinny fit.

$5 for pictures.

SD cards. They're frequently fake.

A dinosaur

Fresh groceries is an absolute no. I always go to the market and pick out my own fruit and veggies and fish.

I do order clothes and shoes online, but never before trying them out myself and only if they don't have the color I want in stock or if it's appreciably cheaper online.

Shoes.

I'm the sort of person that has to try on 10 pairs or more to find some that fit comfortably.

Food, live plants /fish (aquariums), watercooling stuff, teas, NSFW stuff (no returns), used stuff (missing parts, or on amazon, its always defective.

I'm also souring on online deliveries. It was great in the early 10s, but now it's all low quality garbage, defective stuff that has been "returned", no name brand stuff, etc.

Fresh blackberries. I order groceries delivered most trips, and usually I've found it worth it despite the occasional issues (I don't own a car, so it adds significant convenience), but every time I've tried to order non-frozen or canned blackberries, a significant percentage have been moldy.

I've learned how to order clothes this year. I was going to a wedding and was struggling to find a dress so I ordered 8 from various shops then returned the ones that didn't work. I'd previously ordered 3 and had to send all 3 back, then I ordered the 8 and found a favourite and a back up.

For obvious reasons this will remain a very infrequent plan.

One time many years ago I ordered this knock off Panerai watch from a sketchy looking Chinese website. It did arrive a few weeks later, and it's actually a gorgeous self-winding piece with a window to the gears on the back. Its an awesome looking watch. But I'd never do that again.

Anything frozen. It arrives semi defrosted.

I don't order restaurant food or fresh/frozen grocery for delivery, that's about it really.

I do try to order from manufacturer websites when possible but on the occasions I have asked them, they say they make the same $ with Amazon fulfillment.

Lots of stuff I order online but pick up at store too. Meals, coffee, prescription drugs, wine & liquor.

Box full of spiders