857
Why yes of cou- (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] tygerprints@kbin.social 81 points 9 months ago

Once you invite them in and feed them, you'll never get rid of them. But the same could be said for mormons.

[-] MxM111@kbin.social 19 points 9 months ago

Why would you do that with Mormons though?

[-] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 9 months ago

They said they'd give me a planet

[-] MxM111@kbin.social 13 points 9 months ago

Still, vampires are better.

[-] damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Morons give out planets?

[-] tygerprints@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago

Well because maybe it's a good thing to offer food to these kids who don't really yet understand the folly of their cult beliefs. At least I can give them a cookie or something for their efforts.

[-] MxM111@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago

We are talking about vampires, right?

[-] tygerprints@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago

Umm.....not sure anymore. Do vampires like cookies? If they're nice they can come to my house and have a bite.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 16 points 8 months ago

I let some Mormons come in once when I was in my early 20's because I wanted to confirm some things I had heard about their religion that they usually don't share with outsiders. We talked for about an hour and then I asked them to leave. They came back the next day with their leader, and we talked some more. Then they came back the next day with their leader, and his leader! At that point I just told them point blank that it was nice talking to them, but I'm never converting to Mormonism, so stop coming back. To their credit, they said okay and left. It was an interesting experience.

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

If you kept that going much longer most of Provo would have been at your door.

[-] tygerprints@kbin.social 2 points 8 months ago

Well I'm pretty anti-mormon even though I live in Utah. I guess shouldn't be so hard on them, they're not bad people really and I have mistreated them quite often. They do have weird beliefs (in my view) but when you're raised with that mindset it's not really your fault for believing it. Our neighbors are mormon and they're always looking after us, shovel our driveway when it snows and check to see if we're doing OK. I'd like to think that's how neighbors SHOULD be no matter their religious ideas.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 months ago

Mormons seem to walk the walk a lot more than other religions I've been exposed to. They generally live by the rules they espouse, and they have a robust support network for their members, including things like discount grocery stores. It's not for me, but as religious people go, they seem pretty okay.

[-] tygerprints@kbin.social 3 points 8 months ago

I've lived among them for 65 years and there are good people and bad, as in every other circumstance. The mormons do live by the rules they espouse (which isn't so great for mormon women) but, they also do take care of neighbors in need and always bring over food when they make too much. I can't fault them for trying to be as good mormons as possible. But I do object to the term "Latter Day Saints" because, to me, no human is meant to be a saint. We're meant to be human and have human failings and learn from them.

[-] Justas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Insert a joke about kidnapping Mormons here.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 65 points 9 months ago

Honestly, I think vampires would have plenty of volunteers nowadays.

[-] LastYearsPumpkin@feddit.ch 35 points 8 months ago

Really depends on the rules vampires exist under.

I'm guessing some people wouldn't care and just want in, but there are quite a few vampire mythologies that would be a really awful existence.

[-] Dagnet@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Fr. In most interpretations vampires are undead, beings that lose all the joy of living, no warmth, no taste except for blood, inability to have kids or sex, being weak to the sun/running water/garlic/holy ground, being unable to enter any residence without being invited, having to sleep in coffin with dirt from where you are born (which means you can't travel without bringing a whole ass coffin with you). Being a vampire would suck, now a daywalker tho....

[-] cmhickman358@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

All existence is awful, but if you were a vampire you would get to wear a neat cape

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Ay, nobody's stopping you!

[-] Itd4n@ani.social 4 points 8 months ago
[-] CertifiedBlackGuy@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

You're not doing a good job of turning me away ಠ_ಠ

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago
[-] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

Grounded vampire mythos is suspiciously similar to the symptoms of rabies.

If you get Form Of Mist, though, I'm in.

[-] stephen01king@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 months ago

Walking on ceiling, though. If I can get that, I'd say yes, too.

[-] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

If that's a symptom of rabies then Harper Lee undersold it.

[-] stephen01king@lemmy.zip 1 points 8 months ago

It might be, but most rabies patients are probably too terrified of dying and water to try it out.

[-] wsweg@lemmy.world 30 points 8 months ago

I highly recommend the show “What We Do in the Shadows.” It sort of covers this

[-] Lunachocken@iusearchlinux.fyi 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My friend complains it's awful but watches with me anyway and laughs

[-] stephen01king@lemmy.zip 6 points 8 months ago

I always say being awful does not equal being non-enjoyable. It seems your friend agrees.

[-] gerbler@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

That's a good friend

[-] SaintWacko@midwest.social 1 points 8 months ago

I love that show so much. Bat!

[-] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago

Finally a chance to clear my games and books backlog

[-] OnlyTakesLs@sh.itjust.works -1 points 9 months ago

Me in '06/07.

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 61 points 8 months ago

So you say your Dracula died and came back to life? And you drink his blood during religious service in his honor?

[-] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 34 points 8 months ago

Yes but it's human blood that we anoint and gets spiritually converted to Dracula blood.

[-] ceenote@lemmy.world 60 points 9 months ago
[-] M137@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Now that's a meme I haven't heard in a while, nice!

[-] qarbone@lemmy.world 50 points 8 months ago

"Ye- oh! Ha. Nice try, bite guy."

[-] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 6 points 8 months ago

"I D K, Can You Come In?"

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 16 points 8 months ago

"Never invite a vampire into your home, you silly boy, it renders you powerless."

[-] Blizzard@lemmy.zip 14 points 9 months ago

This is brilliant!

[-] Exusia@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

And that is how I came to be a vampire thunder crash

[-] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 8 points 8 months ago
this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
857 points (98.4% liked)

Funny

6562 readers
110 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS