Discourse: Playersexual romance options vs set sexuality (hexbear.net)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by autismdragon@hexbear.net to c/games@hexbear.net

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This discourse was going around twitter today apparently and im curious takes from here.

Which is it for you?

For me i prefer playersexuality. I want to be able to romance any romance option regardless of my charachters gender. I dont want to be stuck with only Arcade Gannon if i want to do m/m

I agree that sexuality can be important to a charachter. But if you wanna do that, seems like the charachter can just not be a romance option.

That said. In RPGs devs can do what they want. You want a charachter to be monosexual and a romance option, have at it. (Unless theyre all straight, then fuck you).

I do kinda hate what The Sims did by adding monosexuality. Felt like such a virtue signal that made the game less fun. All Sims being pansexual was always more fun for me. Especially since i usually play that game as a pansexual slut. Unless i decide my player Sim is mono, but thats on the player's end.

Monosexual townies in the Sims should at least be optional (is it? Idk havent played Sims 4 since this update).

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[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 5 points 10 months ago

If I have to choose, I've found that romances that aren't "playersexual" are generally better written. In the same vein, romances where the player character has more preset traits than the standard amorphous blob you're supposed to project yourself onto are also generally better written.

I'd rather my games don't all try to do the same thing though.

I agree that sexuality can be important to a charachter. But if you wanna do that, seems like the charachter can just not be a romance option.

🙄

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

The world doesn’t have to revolve around the player. If you’re going to add set sexualities, it makes sense to just go all the way and say they’re just not interested in the player regardless of if they’re a gender they would be attracted to or not. I would trust that approach far more with handling non-binary identities, at least.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 4 points 10 months ago

it makes sense to just go all the way

Except if you want to tell a story involving the player in a romance? This isn't a reasonable substitute at all.

I'd like more games that did reject the player. Frankly, I think the average gamer could use being exposed to rejection and shown that it's not the end of the world.

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

But, like, for actual, real gay people, being rejected by someone because they’re straight CAN be the end of the world. Like not even as a bit, it has probably gotten gay people killed before.

Sure, rejection is a cool design idea, but this specifically doesn’t seem like a great experience to replicate, and is probably the worst and most heart wrenching way to implement rejection. Just have them romanceable and then reject the player no matter what they do later on, because the player isn’t their type or whatever. Just make them think the player is too trait game protagonists always are because of how they are designed.

[+] solitaire@infosec.pub 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Whoa I did not intend to have a condescending tone, fuck sorry I didn’t even realize how bad that came across. I was trying to, I guess, just point out that characterizing it as “not the end of the world” would be incorrect in this situation. I wasn’t actually trying to insinuate you were bad or wrong for saying that, even though that is like the most obvious reading of it and I am admittedly a huge dumbass for having written that without thinking about it

the worst and most heart wrenching

I’ve experienced rejection before, I was talking about this specifically in the context of someone being an incompatible sexuality. I was not saying rejection is the “most heart wrenching thing”, I was saying that someone being an incompatible sexuality sounds like the most heart wrenching form of rejection, but I will admit I don’t know fuck all as I am Mx Androgyny

I’ll admit I have no personal experience with it, but the amount of anxiety I’ve seen people have in ancedotes and the risk of being uncloseted gave me the impression that it was about more than just the feeling of rejection, because it isn’t really rejection in the first place? Like someone not being attracted to you because they are physically incapable of it doesn’t sound like rejection to me, it sounds like an entirely different punch to the balls I can’t even wrap my head around. You’re the one with experience with it, I won’t say any more except what I’ve already said in other comments about non-binary characters.

[-] solitaire@infosec.pub 5 points 10 months ago

Whoa I did not intend to have a condescending tone, fuck sorry I didn’t even realize how bad that came across.

Thank you, it takes real integrity to admit that and I appreciate it a lot.

I’ll admit I have no personal experience with it, but the amount of anxiety I’ve seen people have in ancedotes and the risk of being uncloseted gave me the impression that it was about more than just the feeling of rejection, because it isn’t really rejection in the first place? Like someone not being attracted to you because they are physically incapable of it doesn’t sound like rejection to me, it sounds like an entirely different punch to the balls I can’t even wrap my head around.

Someone rejecting you because they're not into your gender isn't a big deal in a vacuum. No more so than any of the other many factors about yourself which you do not have control over. Actually I'd go further - in a safe environment, an "I don't swing that way" is honestly one of the softest and easiest to get past rejection lines you can get.

There is the danger you touch on but it's related to factors the author has complete control over with in the fiction of the game. There is no reason there has to be any risk associated to being outed or of physical danger. Frankly, as a power fantasy I'd probably appreciate being able to kick the ass of some homophobic psycho who thought me flirting with them was justification for assault.

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Thank you, it takes real integrity to admit that and I appreciate it a lot.

kris-love

Frankly, as a power fantasy I'd probably appreciate being able to kick the ass of some homophobic psycho who thought me flirting with them was justification for assault.

You convinced me mao-clap (also your other arguments make sense, especially because I don’t think I even really disagree with set sexualities in general (they’re going to pretty much always be better because of how writing works. It just seemed somewhat contradictory to what some games were going for but that’s only SOME games, not even close to a majority))

semi unrelated

would only really find issue with it in games that would implement it alongside a more accurate non-binary gender system while also being a generic power fantasy RPG sort of game, just because I think that would naturally lead to things like simulating attractiveness based on player appearance which sounds miserable to me. I don’t think any game that includes both of those things even exists yet, though. It would be way too much dev time anyways)

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[-] space_comrade@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Playersexual makes more sense, just make it your own headcannon that your character is gay/straight/bi/whatever. In any case it's not like there are any dialogues where the character explicitly proclaims "I AM BISEXUAL" or anything, just make the character whatever you want in your head.

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

It seems to me that the bottom tweet about having few options for specific sexual encounters is true and what I'd lean into. I didn't play BG3, but the plot appeared to me without an emphasis on romance. Which is to say why would you want a fleshed out discourse on sexuality from game devs and D&D writers? It seems like modding would give you more fidelity to have specific sexual intentions. I imagine the romance subplot is supposed to be cheap and hollow the same way Doom Guy's backstory is cheap and hollow.

Similarly, I have a hang up about main character syndrome and how killing humans doesn't feel good, but if I had to manage my character's mental well being and they would tap out when it became too much in a hack n slash it'd be annoying.

I have a hard time imagining good interpersonal dynamics without doing a VN or an N(ovel) or an animation. Perhaps if you had an AI 5 years in the future you could interact organically with characters who aren't a cheap caricature without sacrificing the focus of the gameplay.

[-] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

I want a game set in the roman empire with authentic Roman sexuality. Actually I thought about this more, I probably don't. It would just be intresting to see sexuality organized against the western consensus

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

i think it gets at the deeper conflict between player gratification and considered storytelling. erotica and wish fulfillment are great, but there are other kinds of stories too.

but then again i don't really play Bioware games or dating sims in general, so it's moot to me.

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this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023

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