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submitted 7 months ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

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[-] eddietrax@dmv.social 189 points 7 months ago

MAGA crowd, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[-] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 48 points 7 months ago

That Billy Madison quote applies well here.

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[-] Kase@lemmy.world 34 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

One might even say,

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[-] Untitled4774@sh.itjust.works 103 points 7 months ago

These people just can’t handle anything, just anything, not being exactly as they like it, and if it isn’t, it has to be some sort of conspiracy.

[-] GilgameshCatBeard@lemmy.ca 62 points 7 months ago

That’s my dad. Trump is a god to him, and anything negative said about him is a liberal plot to stop him from his patriotic duty. The cognitive dissonance that man shows is baffling!

[-] TurboDiesel@lemmy.world 46 points 7 months ago

My stepfather is like that. I even tried to use his own logic to help him see most of these conspiracies are dumb; "you said yourself that the gov't is incompetent. So how can they pull off a conspiracy at this scale if they can't run the country?" - stuff like that.

It doesn't matter, he's fully drank the Kool-Aid, so I just keep him at arm's distance now.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago

Rules of fascism

#3: “Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation.”

#4: Disagreement is treason.

#8: The enemy is both strong and weak.

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[-] nolannice@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

Guys the best quarterback in the league made it to the superbowl again, it's a conspiracy against us. No other way to explain this.

[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago

Also some of them say, "the 49ers need to win to save the country"...but like the big conspiracy is that Taylor is supposed to make a half-time endorsement of Joe Biden.... So like, how would either team eventually winning the game have any impact on the half-time show?

[-] tburkhol@lemmy.world 23 points 7 months ago

And now that there's a denial, from a "senior administration official," it's proof-positive of a vast conspiracy. "Why would they deny something that's not real?"

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[-] leclownfou@sh.itjust.works 18 points 7 months ago

At this point it almost seems like more than that. It's like they need to manufacture some outrage to keep everyone angry about something.

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[-] kandoh@reddthat.com 89 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Remember, a lot of young conservative men were convinced Taylor Swift was a white nationalist who posted with them on 4chan.

When she started telling people to go vote (she didnt even say for a specific party, but just telling people to vote is enough to convince them you're a democrat) they took that as Taylor Swift betraying them.

So much of what conservatives engage with is completely made up and exists only inside their own heads.

[-] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 49 points 7 months ago

These are some of the same rocket surgeons that believe(d) that Hillary was using a pizza parlor with no basement to run an international pedo ring out of the basement of the pizza parlor.

Not really known for their application of reason and logic.

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[-] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 85 points 7 months ago

This feels like one of those things /b/ started as a joke, and a few echo chambers took it seriously, and the media assumed or "assumed" it was far more widespread than it was. At least, I hope so

[-] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 30 points 7 months ago

At work I have a regular that comes into the office and she spouts conspiracies like these and started talking about Taylor Swift vaccines and the deep state in the last week or so, so there are definitely a few true believers.

[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago

Taylot Swift vaccines

These will never work. She's just too infectious.

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[-] DogWater@lemmy.world 23 points 7 months ago

The entire alt right movement was exactly that. It was a joke on b that did this.

Like I used to think that enders game was stupid when it came to the weird internet forum starting a movement and influencing politics but that has literally happened in real life lol

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[-] TurtleJoe@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it's because the ref is on the take. Now you have legalized sports gambling everywhere, with non-stop ads, and official NFL partnerships. Combine that with dozens of hyper slo-mo cameras covering every angle when a ref misses a call, and the conspiracy that the NFL is rigged has become more common the last two years.

Without getting into how absolutely stupid that is, it's only a few more leaps in logic to get to where they seem to be: they keep showing Swift during games, because her fans tune in to see her, ergo, they'll want her to be on screen during the biggest have of the year! The NFL wants the Chiefs to go to the super bowl. (I bartend, and I've had non-maga people saying this to me.) Add in the paranoia that comes with facism, and boom, a new MAGA grand conspiracy is born.

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[-] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

You took the words right out of my neurolink embedded keyboard...

This really is one of the most amusing panics they've had in recent years.

[-] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

Until someone shoots up a concert again

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[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 67 points 7 months ago

"They add that she's not, in fact, part of a psychological operation to sway voters to Joe Biden."

MAGA - "Yeah, but that's just what they WOULD SAY! THIS PROVES IT!!!"

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[-] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 62 points 7 months ago

The Qtards should be treated like Al Qaeda or ISIL operating in the United States. All their communications should be monitored. They should be infiltrated and any time one of them make threats or start making plans to do anything illegal, as many as possible are arrested, locked up and embroiled in the justice system as much as possible - prison time, time in court, etc.

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

There are more incidents of them killing innocents over dumb conspiracies. Like that son and his dad being beheaded.

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[-] phx@lemmy.ca 17 points 7 months ago

Some of them very likely are foreign intelligence operatives attempting to influence locally.

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[-] kromem@lemmy.world 50 points 7 months ago

I love that the Pentagon is referring to dank memes.

Reality really is stranger than fiction.

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[-] Juigi@lemm.ee 47 points 7 months ago
[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 59 points 7 months ago

Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.

[-] Leviathan@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago

You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.

[-] SkippingRelax@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago
[-] Leviathan@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.

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[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said 'holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.'

He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.

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[-] foggy@lemmy.world 43 points 7 months ago

When we look back on this era what are we going to say drove them to this? Like, we explain the Salem witch trials by saying that there was ergot in the water which likely had them hallucinating.

What is it now? Is TikTok this much of a problem? Is there ergot in the water? What the hell is happening...

[-] Xbeam@lemmy.world 36 points 7 months ago

Maybe lead and micro-plastics? But that's just a guess.

[-] SharkAttak@kbin.social 34 points 7 months ago

Lead in the water, micro plastics in the food, Reagan in the air.

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[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 32 points 7 months ago
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[-] watson387@sopuli.xyz 30 points 7 months ago

I am surrounded by dipshits in this country...

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[-] carl_dungeon@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago

I’ve always known maga people are dumber than shit, but now they’re just running the world’s worst D&D session online and on Fox.

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[-] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago

I'm gripped by a strong urge to start anonymously sending some Taylor Swift / KC Chiefs merchandise to family members and acquaintances who have been guzzling the red-hat Flavor Aid for the last decade. It's probably not the most productive use of time and money but this whole thing is just goddamn ridiculous.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago

There's probably a Taylor Swift email notification service for upcoming concerts and such that you could sign them up for.

Free, and guaranteed to stir up the Trumpanzees in your life without putting a target on your own back.

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[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 25 points 7 months ago

Dark Brandon gives their supersolders the hardest battles.

Agencies has so many stories and gossips of coups, secret weapons and psychological experiments like MK-ULTRA, and they used Taylor telling people to vote as their psy-op?

Big scary government that can hear every your word and can even say them for you, can track and kill you at any time - uses a pop-star to make a point?

Who buys that bullshit? Is it, again, the weak but strong enemy? That's a story even Onion wouldn't publish.

[-] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 23 points 7 months ago

Wait for it. Win or lose, once they realize how embarrassing this episode should be, it'll become something that none of them actually believed and besides, it was all started by some lefty trying to make fun of them. The real conspiracy turns out to be (in hindsight with the benefit of selective memory and heavy retconning) a push to drive up merchandise sales. They'll make a reference to globalists, lizard people and something about "controlling the media" without a specific J-word for plausible deniability.

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[-] Veneroso@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

I'm waiting for one of them to call for a protest of the 2024 election because it's rigged, convincing thousands of MAGA to not vote. We're nearly there....

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[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

Nah fuck em. Let them freak out. Fucking moron shitcunts.

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this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
639 points (97.2% liked)

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