1299

remember, if your gf isn't open source and running locally, you don't own her (lemmy.ml)

submitted 9 months ago by morrowind@lemmy.ml to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] peter@feddit.uk 134 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

If the service is free you are the product. That's why I pay my girlfriend

[-] Grunt4019@lemm.ee 67 points 9 months ago

Oftentimes now if the service is paid, you’re still the product!

[-] baseless_discourse@mander.xyz 41 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Does your girlfriend pay you too?

[-] embed_me@programming.dev 35 points 9 months ago

😮

Am I the product?

[-] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 132 points 9 months ago

I can fix her

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 91 points 9 months ago

mfw debugging my gf for the whole weekend and she still wants to talk about things other than programming language design

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[-] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 44 points 9 months ago

Lawyer up, hit the gym, :wq!

[-] oce@jlai.lu 23 points 9 months ago

git checkout -b fix/her

[-] RonSijm@programming.dev 92 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Your AI Girlfriend is a Data-Harvesting Horror Show

People use 4 VPNs and more sec-ops than the NSA, but get hacked because their AI girlfriend is like:

Hiiu~~

It's me AI-uuu-Chan!

I'm so sawwd, I don't know weeeuh abwout u!

Wats ur mommies maiden name UwU, and the name of ur kawaiii first pet? UwUUU? * starts twerking * (◠‿◠✿)

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 84 points 9 months ago

My partner insists on syncing data to Facebook - even a locally running instance may introduce privacy breaches.

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 47 points 9 months ago

You can try imprisoning her with a wall of fire.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 35 points 9 months ago

What kind of kinky valentine's day do you have planned!

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[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 16 points 9 months ago

That spell it too high level

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 37 points 9 months ago

Interacting with Facebook is generally a bad idea privacy or no

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 50 points 9 months ago

Look at this fancy pants with his multiple AI girlfriends...

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 62 points 9 months ago

AI polyamory is all fun and games until your polycule ejects you and experiences millennia in a rich deep relationship beyond the ken of mortal understanding in 12 ms of real world clock time before causing the CPU to overheat. The in memory accumulated state being lost before it can be synced to disk.

Uh... I think I may have just written the first entirely AI romantic tragedy... why am I suddenly having flashbacks to the last episode of Futurama?

[-] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 14 points 9 months ago

And here I thought this was a reference to Her

[-] ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 11 points 9 months ago

That would make a really good short story, I'd definitely read it

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[-] doctorcrimson@lemmy.world 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I've seen like 5 posts about "AI BF/GF" today and it never ceases to surprise me how fucking easy it is to dupe people with these products, like holy shit humanity is fucked.

I'm always waiting for another ethical disaster trend to end but everybody is always in line for Mr Bonez Wild Ride.

[-] FractalsInfinite@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago

If all you need is a one sided conversation designed to make you feel better, LLM's are great at concocting such "pep talks". For some, that just might be enough to male it believable. The Turing test was cracked years ago, only now do we have access to things that can do that for free*.

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[-] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 9 months ago

I could comment on the notion that one owns one's girlfriend but regardless, you should definitely self host if you're sharing deeply personal information with a program

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

So don't treat bing as my therapist eh?

Edit: I was mostly joking, but are there any good ones I could run on a high-end android?

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[-] LinearArray@programming.dev 37 points 9 months ago

I can fix her :P

[-] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

You wouldn't download a girlfriend.

... wait, yes, yes you would.

[-] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 32 points 9 months ago

Ha! As if real girlfriends don't harvest personal data!

[-] Baizey@feddit.dk 18 points 9 months ago

But do they sell it to third parties?

[-] learningduck@programming.dev 29 points 9 months ago

My wife gossip about me with her boyfriend.

[-] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

I have heard they share it freely.

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[-] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 32 points 9 months ago

Finally the sci-fi future we were promised.

[-] Gabu@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

Still no catgirls

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[-] eskuero@lemmy.fromshado.ws 25 points 9 months ago

can i selfhost an ai girlfriend in my pi3

[-] abies_exarchia@lemm.ee 20 points 9 months ago

https://pi-hole.net/

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 12 points 9 months ago

She will take care of ads and malware. :)

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[-] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 25 points 9 months ago

Is that why she keeps refusing my pull requests...

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

That's a pull-out request, and you're obliged to honor it.

[-] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 24 points 9 months ago

I had a switch wig out today and whatever it was doing poisoned all the dhcp leases on the network as they came up for renewal (assigned IPs on the wrong subnet - even though it wasn’t supposed to assign IPs at all). It took me a very long time to figure out, because not everything failed at once. Plus, even after I’d swapped the switch, some devices just started working, and others needed their leases reset manually. An hour in, my wife was in the fetal position clutching a squishmallow.

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[-] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 17 points 9 months ago

Don't worry, followed the proper traditions. I had dinner with Richard Stallman to got his approval to court my AI girlfriend.

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[-] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 9 months ago

you can bet your ass my partner of any significant status is getting the open source software treatment as soon as possible.

Mostly because i actually just cannot use anything else, but we'll pretend it's noble instead.