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Computer components cheat sheet (campfyre.nickwebster.dev)

submitted 8 months ago by nick@campfyre.nickwebster.dev to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] Jakylla@sh.itjust.works 92 points 8 months ago

"No" is the most accurate I could ever have imagined for Inkjet Printers

[-] Jaccident@lemm.ee 8 points 8 months ago

Not to be confused with “No.”

[-] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 8 months ago

What about "angry robot demands ink sacrifice"?

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@lemmy.one 71 points 8 months ago

Laser printers more accurately "bake paper so that number powder sticks to it"

[-] uis@lemm.ee 7 points 8 months ago

Fuse number

[-] okamiueru@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

There are two common types of laser printers. Those that have special paper that react to heat, such as receipt printers, would fit the description.

The other laser printers.. Hm, I don't think your description is accurate either. It's more that the laser electrically charges ink particles so that they jump on to a separate roller that gets rolled on to the paper.

I'm no expert though.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@lemmy.one 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I am not aware of any receipt printers using lasers - thermal printers have an array of resistors that get hot when necessary. I know how a laser printer works and it is hard to explain in 12 or so words. Inkjets are way easier, you can just say "squirt squirt oops". Anyway...

A photosensitive drum gets a negative electrostatic charge.
A laser shining through a rotating prism scans lines across the drum's surface. This removes charge from parts of the drum that should not be covered in toner.
A high-voltage corona wire inside the toner reservoir charges an amount of toner positively.
The charged drum rotates past the corona wire, getting covered in toner where its negative charge remains.
Paper is pushed against the drum and the powdery toner is transferred to it.
The paper continues into a fuser, a little oven where a heating element briefly makes the toner so hot that it melts, its powder particles making a permanent bond among themselves and with the paper. (The heater is usually stationary and heats the paper from below. The fuser drum that pushes paper against the heater can get sticky and pick up some of the toner, making images repeat down the page. This is the most common failure mode that cannot be resolved through regular maintenance such as replacing the toner cartridge and printing cleaning pages. However, almost all laser printers have a cheap fuser module or its drum available so it is usually worth replacing.)

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 8 months ago

I like the chemical paper because I can write on it with a hot stick.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@lemmy.one 6 points 8 months ago

Yeah, it's fun but the temperature needs to be correct. With rising temperature, the paper goes black, light gray, brown and then glowing orange.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 8 months ago

"Watch as I turn this ordinary paper into pure energy!"

[-] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 8 months ago

It's an accurate description of laser printers. The "powder" in the description are small plastic flakes (toner), and the paper is baked so that powder melts into it.

Receipt printers have no additional consumables beyond the paper. The heat itself is all the paper needs.

[-] Scrath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 8 months ago

Wait, seriously? We use plastic for printing documents as well?

[-] frezik@midwest.social 2 points 8 months ago

Yup, that's what toner is. Little black plastic flecks. If you break a toner cartridge and get it everywhere, try not to breathe too hard.

[-] prole@sh.itjust.works 45 points 8 months ago

I thought this was a D&D alignment chart at first... And yes, Inkjet printers are chaotic evil.

[-] nick@campfyre.nickwebster.dev 13 points 8 months ago

I think they're lawful evil, more devils than demons.

[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 8 months ago

yes because unfortunately selling printer ink at higher prices than human blood is somehow completely legal

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 7 points 8 months ago

I would say it's pretty accurate across the grid, but I'd swap HDD and ram. HDD is chaotic neutral, because it can turn into a maraca at any moment.

[-] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

It's more unreliable than SSD?

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago

absolutely.

[-] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 35 points 8 months ago

Inkjet: uses yellow ink to dye paper.

But what if it's just black text?

Inkjet: USES YELLOW INK TO DYE PAPER

[-] LostXOR@fedia.io 18 points 8 months ago

Gotta put on those invisible tracking codes.

[-] dan@upvote.au 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The EFF were tracking which printers print the invisible tracking dots, but they gave up because practically all colour inkjet and laser printers do it now. https://www.eff.org/pages/list-printers-which-do-or-do-not-display-tracking-dots

[-] generalpotato@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

HDD - Remembers numbers loudly is on point for 90s/2000s disk drives. 😂

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

... server/enterprise level HDDs are loud af, I swear some brands are dedicated to it.

That leaves us only with the tiny WD Red Plus (but not Red Pro), above 20TB afaik only Exos (from X21 onwards) doesn't alert the neighbours.

But in (second half-ish?) of 90s HDDs differed a lot in terms of loudness. I was one of those nerds with custom (fully home made) water loop just to achieve some level of quietness.

[-] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

With those jet engine fans they are quiet by comparison lol.

[-] turing_spider574@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago

TIL printers are computer components

[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 10 points 8 months ago

Hey my inkjet with refillable tanks isn't so bad

[-] Emtity_13@lemmy.sdf.org 68 points 8 months ago

Stage 1: Denial

[-] Micromot@lemmy.zip 11 points 8 months ago

Which one is it? The one I have still has an overflow/nozzle cleaning sponge that bricks the printer when it's full

[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 5 points 8 months ago

Oh yeah that whole thing is fucking stupid but bypassable depending on model

[-] melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee 2 points 8 months ago

So you need to hack it and violate warranty to make it work? And this is just fine? On a product you paid for?

[-] Micromot@lemmy.zip 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah will see what I can do once it starts complaining

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

HP will brick your shit remotely on these.

[-] datavoid@lemmy.ml 9 points 8 months ago

Needs more jpeg

[-] madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

FPU

🤭

[-] BurningTurtle@programming.dev 4 points 8 months ago

Where is the tracking device for remembering numbers remotely?

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

That’s wifi or Bluetooth.

[-] dan@upvote.au 3 points 8 months ago

Is the FPU a reference to the Pentium FDIV bug?? What a throwback.

[-] uis@lemm.ee 8 points 8 months ago

0.1+0.2

[-] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 8 months ago

bottom most text

[-] go_go_gadget@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

We don't talk about bubble jet.

[-] spatialdestiny@lemmy.one 2 points 8 months ago

Now do software concepts like Bitcoin, machine learning, and blockchain.

[-] go_go_gadget@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Bitcoin: An excel spreadsheet a bunch of people agree on.
Machine Learning: Electrons in a room banging on typewriters.
Blockchain: A marketing term for linked lists.