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Horny jail: found (hexbear.net)
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[-] Rx_Hawk@hexbear.net 74 points 7 months ago

10:35 - I have just discovered reverse cowgirl. My life is changed.

10:42 - wife is trying to unzip the tent, I have coomed it shut.

10:44 - she is calling our church

10:53 - the Swiss Guard have arrived and are dissolving my coom seal with holy water. All is lost.

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 20 points 7 months ago

Impressive response time from the Vatican there.

[-] Rx_Hawk@hexbear.net 16 points 7 months ago

They have eyes everywhere

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 49 points 7 months ago

She's got a camera in there, and she's posting his jail stays on OnlyFans to support her vintage furniture habit.

[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 14 points 7 months ago
[-] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 8 points 7 months ago

I wish I had more space (and money) to support having a vintage furniture habit.

[-] absolutefuckinidiot@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 7 months ago

Well worth it for the vintage furniture

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 48 points 7 months ago

This has to be either a bit or a kink, I refuse to believe otherwise

[-] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 22 points 7 months ago

I’d say there is no way this is real, but the USians are a weird bunch.

[-] booty@hexbear.net 20 points 7 months ago

IMO, his fantasies being "doggie style, standing doggie style" is too far. Can't not be a joke.

But I've been wrong about such assessments before

[-] Rx_Hawk@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago

It’s the ESPN bit that sealed it for me

[-] Egon@hexbear.net 43 points 7 months ago
[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

The gooncage can’t hurt you.

[-] marx_mentat@hexbear.net 36 points 7 months ago

if you want to keep having fun, don't reveal this spoiler.It's not real. The post is from an account that writes comedy. The fun is now over. I am sorry.


[-] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 26 points 7 months ago

I guess I should've listened. buggy-disappointed

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 2 points 7 months ago

Oh thank God

[-] RedQuestionAsker2@hexbear.net 35 points 7 months ago

This is more like horny quarantine

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 31 points 7 months ago

Highlight from this very thread:

[-] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 31 points 7 months ago

Are the straights ok?

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 29 points 7 months ago

Is that dude married to a nun or what?

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

wouldnt that make him jesus? nvm it still tracks in that case

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 18 points 7 months ago

Even Jesus probably had less vanilla fantasies lol

[-] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 18 points 7 months ago

jesus was into feet hence all the washing

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 7 months ago

Old polish internet meme claims that while Jesus is the answer to all questions better not ask him for dwarf porn, that's why people have google.

[-] booty@hexbear.net 2 points 7 months ago

grillman if God didn't want me to see it he wouldn't have put it only a google search away

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 23 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

yes, honey 😔

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 23 points 7 months ago
[-] assyrian@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago
[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 14 points 7 months ago
[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 15 points 7 months ago
[-] Big_Bob@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

The goon tent is so crusty, it doesn’t need poles.

[-] TheCynicalSaint@lemmy.ml 11 points 7 months ago

I have so many questions and yet I'm not sure if I want the answers! 😂

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago

I mean, good for them figuring something out together. (That tent likely has a weird smell, though.)

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago
[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 7 points 7 months ago

Because free online porn is too powerful for men to resist.

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This dude gets no sex and his wife only lets him wank once a week for 20 minutes on sundays lmaooooooooooooo

EDIT: Marx_mentat ruined it

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago

people are strange

[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 2 points 7 months ago

That must be the worst smelling tent in existence.

this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2024
139 points (100.0% liked)

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