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submitted 4 months ago by DevCat@lemmy.world to c/humor@lemmy.world

Billionaire Elon Musk, found dead in his home last night, says it is not the role of social media networks to determine what is true or not.

The Tesla and X owner, who is believed to have died from a heroin overdose while watching animal porn, said he would fight any attempts to stop the spread of misinformation on his platform.

Police revealed that Musk, who says it is up to the public to decide what was true or not, had been fighting incest charges at the time of his death.

His funeral is next week.

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[-] Grobmobularb@lemmy.world 375 points 4 months ago

You fuck. Don’t scare me with a good time.

[-] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 49 points 4 months ago

I know! I actually squeaked with delight, then felt crushing disappointment, all from one title.

[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 25 points 4 months ago

Fastest I've ever lost a boner.

[-] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 162 points 4 months ago
[-] GeekFTW@lemmy.zip 49 points 4 months ago

Shit I saw this a day or three ago and it still got me lol.

[-] DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca 112 points 4 months ago

Probably the spiciest instance of fighting fire with fire I've ever seen

[-] drcobaltjedi@programming.dev 37 points 4 months ago

I remember seeing one about zuck a few years back. Apparently the chaser said mark zuck was a child molester though the actual web page has since been taken down.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 94 points 4 months ago

Aw c'mon don't tease us like that!

[-] formergijoe@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago

Well I, as a member of the public, choose to believe him being dead as true, as he wished in life.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

*sheds a single tear*

He died doing what he loved. Hoarding a measure of wealth that the human brain isn't capable of comprehending, while the rest of us are left budgeting for god damned eggs.

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 83 points 4 months ago

Millionaire and soon-to-be indicted Elon Musk, found dead in his home last night, says it is not the role of social media networks to determine what is true or not.

That ought to get his attention

[-] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 79 points 4 months ago

He's only 52?

He looks like someone 15 years older whose had too much plastic surgery

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago
[-] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 27 points 4 months ago

Drugs don't make people looks like low quality wax models...

It's the plastic surgery

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 months ago

Looks like he paid the surgeon with Tesla shares.

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 months ago

He's actually 74, I read it on the Xitter so it must be true.

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[-] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 63 points 4 months ago

They really had us in the beginning, and the middle, they actually had us the whole time, and I take every word as true.

[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 57 points 4 months ago

Elon Musk, the well-known pedophile? That Elon Musk?

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago

The guy who implied or outright said the only reason for a man to visit Thailand is to have sex with children after recently having visited Thailand himself?

[-] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

It's been 5 hours and I don't see a denial here, it must be true!

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[-] Seraph@kbin.social 51 points 4 months ago

Pretty sure we can all conjecture he's a pedophile now.

[-] magnusrufus@lemmy.world 59 points 4 months ago

I've assumed elon was a pedo ever since he accused that one diver of being one.

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[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 35 points 4 months ago

Many people are saying it. More and more.

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[-] Jaytreeman@kbin.social 18 points 4 months ago

You don't get incest charges for no reason whatsoever

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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 38 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

elon musk, one of the world's most outspoken furries, dead today after his head fell off immediately after he set the world record for the amount of penises simultaneously inserted into a human body. Per his will, his body will be hollowed out and used as a urinal for truckers with active, untreated STDs. He is survived by several people that didn't love him for a single day of his worthless life.

[-] AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world 35 points 4 months ago

Hey, you can... you can respectfully keep furries out of this one. Just saying. We've got nothing to do with that mess. This time at least.

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[-] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 34 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I heard a completely different story. I heard he was alive but in a bid to own the libs had castrated himself. No need for misinformation laws when rumors abound.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago

Okay, this is genius, and I thought it was legit for a minute.

[-] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

If you believe in it, it's true!

[-] dojan@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago

The billionaire grifter well known for lying and making money off of his lies, is against misinformation laws? Wow I am so surprised. He always struck me as a stand-up, honourable kind of chap.

[-] daltotron@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago

Okay guys be honest for a second with me here do you think his hair transplant was like the single most effective thing he's done for his own public image? I think it might be. If you look at the before and after pictures that motherfucker is super bald at a young age, but just deluded enough to not have shaven his head. If you look at him now and sort of at his height in public good will with teslas and what have you, bang, full head of hair. Did it give him more confidence to spiral from a minor silicon valley douche into a full turbodouche? Or did it just masquerade the true baldness of the soul with which he is plagued? I dunno. Nobody holds any good sentiments about jeff bezos, and that man looks like a shorter lex luthor. I mean everyone also things zuck is a lizard man or a robot or whatever, and he has hair I guess, but I dunno.

Am I reading too much into his former baldness?

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

All I know is that I wish I could afford as good of a hair transplant as he or Gordon Ramsay have. I guess I could afford one once, but if it keeps falling out then it's just going to look even worse after the transplant. I think you need the money to get follow-up transplants for the rest of your life, and I'd rather spend that money on life experiences, hobbies, or retirement.

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[-] crispyflagstones@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Misinfo! How can he argue against misinformation laws when he actually died five years ago and has been played by a stunt double this whole time?

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[-] doublejay1999@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

I imagine death came fairly quickly and without a lot of suffering.

That’s a shame.

[-] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago
[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago

You mean he's been dead for a decade now?! Makes total sense. When's the last time anyone actually saw him in public? /s

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[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ya know, there was a thread on here (here being Lemmy, not this particular community) a week or so ago mocking someone trying to manifest a free car for themself. Now I want manifesting to be a thing, let's turn this into reality.

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[-] kokesh@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Oh no! How will the planet survive? How will we get to our miserable existence on Mars after we fuck up the atmosphere with thousands of rocket launches?

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[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Fuck you, OP 😂

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

I'd believe that he could find a way to keep being an annoying prick even after his death. Though Elon-bot would probably be less socially awkward.

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[-] PiratePanPan@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 months ago

Mods, fill OP's body with the wrong blood type

[-] Kaefor@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 months ago

This is an updated version of the article: Mark Zuckerberg – Dead at 36 – Says Social Media Sites Should Not Fact Check Posts

🤣

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this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
1482 points (97.3% liked)

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