When the doctor scrolls through your files, then scrolls some more, then scrolls more.

When the doctor asks you about ozempic.

When the doctor recommends your first colonosopy.

When the barber asks: do you want me to do your eyebrows?

Everything you say is misconstrued through some lens over which you have no control.

example:

Me: Hey do you want to go for a walk when you are done what you are working on?

Them: Why are you always so critical of how long things take?

Me: What. The. Fuck?

I'm in my 30s and one of the big things I've noticed recently is that hangovers are way worse than they were in my 20s. I think I've noticed it especially because I quit drinking for about 4 years or so and when I came back to it I noticed it seemed much worse than my early 20s. These days I'll have like 3 or 4 beers and start feeling hung over before I even go to bed. On the plus side it has really helped me moderate my drinking, cuz I sure don't feel like feeling like shit before I'm even done drinking and for most of the next day!

Most of the other stuff I hear ("Your metabolism slows way down!!!" "Your body starts falling apart!!!") seems to me to be mostly because people stop exercising and eat like shit. You do slow down but taking care of your body can really reduce the losses. I'm a cyclist and ride with guys in their 60s who are probably fitter than a lot of 20 and 30 year olds that I work with.

I can't drink as much as I used to without experiencing an all-day headache the following day.

A few years ago already, I started to have more stories about I've done that cool stuff, rather than I hope to do that cool stuff

To be fair, I had the honour to spend some time in a south American observatory and it offers a shit ton of "cool stories"

"Your teeth/eyes look pretty good for your age! 👍"

Please try different shoes. I was panicking that my knees were gone and it was just the shoes.

I slept 4 am during one weekend because we had celebration, it's been 5 days now and i'm still feeling the lack of sleep and catching up.

i'm not that out of shape tbh, i use stairs daily on my 5th floor work office without needing to catch my breath, so i'm pretty sure ive got normal cardio and muscle condition. but the sleep, damn i feel the need to really catch up.

Sorry to confirm your suspicions, buddy. Be careful if there's always at least one process of fermentation going on under your roof.

Me at 30: "I'd never get Botox I'm fine with looking my age".

Me at 50: "I wish I could afford Botox because the saggy mouth thing makes me look completely different and I hate it".

Also couldn't kneel down if you put a gun to my head.