785

Im sure your therapist will help you cope with the situation. On your dime of course.

Giddy up buttercup.

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[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 49 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

if you're feeling over stressed then stop by our mental health station where you can have FIFTEEN MINUTES of PAID QUIET TIME as often as once per day AND a FREE CUPCAKE!!!

(quiet time and free cupcake vouchers require a one time signature of a release form stating that The Company provided you with free mental health counseling and are henceforth no longer liable for any future mental health issues you may experience in perpetuity)

LETS MAKE IT A GREAT DAY AT THE COMPANY!!!

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

Now, get out there and kill, kill, kill.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Wasn't expecting a Dungeon Crawler Carl reference on Lemmy, which is weird because you'd think it'd fit in with a bunch of lefty ubernerds.

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

I'm just happy to know that others got it.

[-] SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

When I worked at an Amazon warehouse, they had signs in all the toilets telling us we could go and see someone if our mental health was bad. If someone’s mental health was bad it was probably due to their shitty management, work practices, or pay.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

I'm always wary of talking to any mental health professionals who are employed by the company that caused the mental health issues to begin with

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

As you should be. Same for the "anonymous reporting."

[-] SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

Seems like sensible advice. I can’t imagine you’d get much from those conversations. Honestly, that was the most demoralising job I’ve ever had. Like I couldn’t face going in for over time bad.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

I did overtime once and swore never again

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

In India, you get bonus SSRIs alongside your cupcake to keep you in line.

Courtesy, your friendly neighbourhood perpetually high psych~~o~~(iatrist)

[-] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 37 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

HR has set this break aside for people to appreciate our corporate family, so get to it!

[-] FunkyMonk@kbin.social 20 points 4 months ago

You made another 100k for the company, here is 40$ worth of pizza for you not knowing the word union

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

Every corporate environment I’ve worked in would promote the horses to the whipping positions, and then outsource the cart-pulling to underpaid oxen from India.

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 19 points 4 months ago

What we’re gonna do is fire two of the horses but the departments going to keep the same workload.

[-] OpenStars@discuss.online 18 points 4 months ago

Have you tried... holding more meetings, where you can make a plan to plan to make a plan to make a plan to somehow magically get the work done?! 🪄🧙‍♂️

Failing to make a plan is planning to fail after all! End of sentence, certainly nothing more possibly needs to be added...

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 months ago

Reminds me of Java FactoryTemplateProducer.

[-] lightnegative@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

ApplicationAwareCurrentConfigContext.getCurrentContext().getBean(BeanFactoryFactoryBean.class)

[-] LazyBane@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

When I worked as a cleaner at a supermarket I got moved to the evening shift which used to have two people who got laid off.

I was on my own and it quickly became apparent that the shift needs two people to actually get everything done. I pointed it out, but the section lead (incompetent nepohire who was literally kicked out of every other section for being a terrible leader) just decided I was being slow.

Even after I broke down the hour per hour workload, they just insisted I had to learn how to work faster. One "tip" they had was to just throw water everywhere and mop it up to save time. Let's not even get to the "mental health ping-pong table" they have.

Whenever I visit that supermarket today it still looks filthy.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 4 months ago

Yeah, when CEO's tell you they're "currently understaffed" or you just need to "work faster" chances are 90% they just want to cut down wage costs.

[-] SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

If you aren’t overstaffed, you’re understaffed.

[-] SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

I did a few weeks for a using a bailer to crush cans. The team lead had worked out that you could do one pallet every 20 minutes. You could, if you did one pallet, but as you did more things backed up.

[-] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 4 months ago

It's so true, it's not even funny.

[-] Zehzin@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

Those 3 extra drivers were originally mud cleaners

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

But they sucked at cleaning the mud. Instead of firing them and increasing turnover, they promoted them to newly created positions and hired others at a lower wage to compensate for the wage increase of the newly minted Executive Mud Cleaners.

[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Should have started with 3 horses (problem), added a 4th (solution), then added the management and made it 2 horses (corporate).

[-] masquenox@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

The obvious solution is for the horse to kick the driver's head to smithereens and appropriate the wagon.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 4 months ago

Lowe’s current corporate strategy in a nutshell

this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
785 points (98.3% liked)

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