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Like from what I understand you're not allowed to touch the workers because then it becomes prostitution. So like. A bunch of boys just get together and sit down to watch some girls dancing naked? And they just kinda grin at each other and say "hey isn't it awesome when there's boobs?"

You can't jerk off so they just go to get boners with their buddies? You can do that at home. You can just watch porn with the fellas or have a circlejerk.

I've never understood why it's seen as a straight masculine thing to go to a place where the only thing you can do is get horny with other men.

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[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 124 points 6 months ago

Sexy women are nice to you.

[-] TheFinalCapitalist@hexbear.net 69 points 6 months ago

You've made a point I have never before considered so props to you

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[-] krolden@lemmy.ml 66 points 6 months ago

Hey guys wanna go spend all our money and get boners together?

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 35 points 6 months ago

Jokes on you me and the rest of the goon squad do that for free screm-cool

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[-] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 56 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)
[-] dessalines@lemmy.ml 41 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

gettin horny with the fellas

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[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 55 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It's a place where awful and socially maladjusted people go because they can't get women that attractive to be pleasant to them in any other situation.

Maid cafes in Japan fulfill the same purpose but without alcohol. Some offer after-hours "specials" that include erotic performance. An evolution of historic Geisha service.

Hooters fulfills the same purpose again.

It's the same motivation in every version, there's just a different presentation in style and act. They want feminine attention and they are willing to part with money to get it, typically they have fucked up views of women because of the lack of feminine attention or because of the fact they're awful human beings. Power, patriarchy, misogyny, all wrapped up into one.

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 21 points 6 months ago
[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 52 points 6 months ago

i think if you view it wholly as eroticism & trying to bust it seems disappointing, but it's really just a bar where you get to see live performance. so all the appeals of a bar PLUS watching contortionists & dancers do their thing.

[-] Lerios@hexbear.net 40 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

watching contortionists & dancers do their thing

if that were the appeal, they wouldn't be almost entirely female - there is also a significant amount of misogyny and objectification going on

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 19 points 6 months ago

i'm just explaining a point of view that will be less alien to the audience here, the whole reason strip clubs exist is patriarchal morality policing, there's a ton to unpack about it but an important first thing to understand is that it's art & performance. and i'm not the best equipped to actually do that unpacking, i've only read history from before strip clubs were an explicit category

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 51 points 6 months ago

It's the place you go to so when you disrespect the old mobster that runs the place he murders you in the men's room and disposes of your body in a quarry.

[-] Moss@hexbear.net 42 points 6 months ago

Oohhhh that makes sense. That's an important place to have in society tbf, it's just not the same in a casino or a speakeasy

[-] krolden@lemmy.ml 30 points 6 months ago

The Turkish consulate?

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 50 points 6 months ago

The boys: at a strip club to look at the bazoinkas and paying to pitch a tent awooga

Me: At the strip club for the cheap wings and beer, and helping the girls unionize.

we-are-not-the-same

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[-] BakedBeanEnjoyer@hexbear.net 43 points 6 months ago

None of you people have actually been to strip clubs and it shows.

A private dance is a lot more intimate than the name implies. If you tip nicely, you can basically get dry-humped to completion if you're into that. Or you use the opportunity to talk business since some strippers also moon light as sex-workers.

Of course I don't frequent these establishments because I'm not a creep but I do understand how they work. It's like going into a mob front restaurant and asking how they stay in business if the spaghetti tastes horrible. That's not what they're selling dear hexbear.

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Or you use the opportunity to talk business since some strippers also moon light as sex-workers.

Yep. It's a safe(r) space to negotiate offsite sex work. The club aggressively filters out the the most obvious perverts who get handsy at the mere sight of a boobie. Not to say you can't make good money just dancing, of course—there's plenty of white boy incels who are too scared to break the law, and throw away a fortune trying to make a dancer their girlfriend because she was nice to them. But the girls who made bank were always doing side work.

It's like going into a mob front restaurant and asking how they stay in business if the spaghetti tastes horrible.

That's why you get the lasagna, or go to the mob front pizza places. They load up that pie with absurd amounts of cheese because they have no concept of what is and isn't profitable. A pound of cheese can make any mid recipe quite palatable!

[-] POKEMONGOTOTHEGULAG@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago

None of you people have actually been to strip clubs and it shows.

Yes??? That why we're asking

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[-] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 41 points 6 months ago

im not saying this to be demeaning towards anyone who works in a strip joint, nor am i commenting on the reasons one would work there.

That said, some places are topless only. Some places are full nude. Some places, like outside of city limits where places like these are regulated, the sky is the limit. Some places are full alcohol service. Some places are dry. Some are BYO. I work in a smallish city, lots of my service calls are on a particular stretch of interstate between my smallish city and the next smaller city. There is a place I pass pretty regularly along the road there that has been there since i was 10 (im 45 now for reference) that is full nude. and they provide setups for your alcohol. They refer to the women who work there as ‘models’. There is no pricing of sorts. Everything is arranged between the customer and the ‘model’. The model takes you back to their private booth/stall/whateverthefuck and what you two agree to, and the price you agree to is between you, the model, and the four walls. Because it is in the sticks out in the county, it is not regulated by any city entity.

There are some places where sex workers strip at, and will pursue ‘side work’ if the customer meets whatver standards the sex worker has.

There are also some places where if you look at the women improperly, youll be bounced on the spot with a lump on the side of your head for your troubles.

I guess it all depends on business/business location/owner/workers.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 45 points 6 months ago

Yeah that sounds super fucking shady and totally a front for human trafficking.

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[-] Strayce@lemmy.sdf.org 39 points 6 months ago

Having never been myself, I'm speculating a bit, but I've talked about it with coworkers who go in the past and I suspect it's more of a power fantasy. It's a place where attractive women who wouldn't normally give them the time of day will fawn over them because they have money.

[-] MayoPete@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

Yep that's the main appeal. Attractive women you pay to hang out with you. A temporary salve for loneliness in a world where real community is rare.

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[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 39 points 6 months ago

Funny thread for the bear website, also really seems to have brought the @s out of the woodwork, typical awooga redditbrain stuff.

[-] ultraviolet@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago

yeah Hexbear harbor a lot of misogyny that hasn't been properly addressed

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[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 35 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

They exist for the same reason hooters exist. You do an already established activity (hooters: eat fast food, strip club: drinking alone), but then you add in cute girls who pretend to like you to make you feel less alone

Personally I’m looking forward for when they create sexualized basketball so I can have cute girls encourage me to shoot threes

[-] WafflesTasteGood@hexbear.net 35 points 6 months ago

It's worth noting that while you can't touch the workers, they're allowed to make quite a lot of contact with you. This leads to guys throwing money at pretty ladies in hopes of some mild foreplay.

[-] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 28 points 6 months ago

Strip clubs have been around for a long, long time. I assume in a time before the internet and being able to see naked women on demand, going to a strip club was a more novel activity.

It’s also a social activity. Why do people like going to the bar? I’ve always thought going to the bar was stupid, but plenty of people have fun doing that. A strip club is sorta like a bar with near-naked women dancing. I’ve met women who like going to the strip club, either with other women or with their guy friends.

[-] Mickmacduffin@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

You strip and people pay you, obviously

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago

I was a stripper briefly in my 20s, though not a very good one and not in a big city

AMA

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

not a very good one

bit idea: stripper who spends the whole song trying and failing to remove her hot pants

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[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

When to a strip club 3 times in my life. The first time I was a young incel about 18 years old and fell in love with one of the ladies who was friendly with me. The stripping was boring. I was just lonely and needed a dream.

The other two times were boring as shit. It was a few years later and I didn't see the point in it. I always just wanted to chat with the women, and was low key jealous of the women in my party who attended and did just that with the workers, but without the weirdness of male/female relations in a strip club. I stopped going after that, amd just tops my friends no if they asked to go together.

Later I would find a girlfriend and stopped being a weird incel. Then I would transition and stopped being jealous of women.

The only other "strip" show I watched, I don't count because was legitimate burlesque and the performers were incredible, doing crazy rope tricks and magic, and one guy had a wild 3D shadow puppet show.

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[-] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago
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[-] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 6 months ago

Thanks for this thread I asked myself the same questions

[-] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago

I've never been to one, but apparently the ones in the US have like an unlimited breakfast food buffet? I assume some people are having the saddest pancakes of their lives while having someone dance in the vicinity.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 34 points 6 months ago

M'am please stop sticking your yaboos in my face I am trying to enjoy my egg mcmuffin.

[-] StalinStan@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

I have done some bouncing. Your bread and butter client is there for emotional not sexual gratification. For the cost of a fancy dinner like you get to experience beeing a rock star. Beautiful women talk to you, compliment you, seek out your attention. If you a monogamous cis het normal guy you get to experience the thrill of cheating in a safe controlled environment.

Pretty girls are a plus but even boomers get tired of that fairly quickly.

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this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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