Replace their beer with a cigarette, go back in time, and you'll see these street theater performers putting on the same act.
These types railed against every change. Leaded gas. Seat belts. Catalytic converters. Smoking. The clean air act. Vegetables (seriously)... it's insane how half the country gets pissed at anything different.
Conservatives are (in every pejorative meaning of the word) retarded.
They are the ones who should bear this insult because it actually describes their dumb unwillingness to betterment of any kind.
“What is it with liberals that want to control every damn aspect of your life?”
The party of Don't Say Gay and Abortion Is Murder expect me to think that it's the liberals who want to exert control over my life?
one of the first things they wanted to do was ban gas stoves
Not true. Cruz is (probably intentionally) conflating two different Republican talking points here. The New York State issue mentioned here involves preventing the use of gas stoves with inadequate exhaust that leak illness-inducing gasses into upstairs living spaces, and even then people can get exemptions for this. The changes at the federal level are for making stoves more energy efficient. This can only help consumers.
They’re trying to go after and regulate ceiling fans.
They've proposed more energy efficient ceiling fan criteria for manufacturers. This can only help consumers.
now these idiots have come out and said drink two beers a week, that’s their guideline.
These "idiots" are an organization built around reducing alcoholism. I don't think they're idiots for suggesting that drinking more alcohol leads to more alcohol dependence. I also think it's probably not fair to categorize this org as liberal. It was created by Richard Nixon in 1970. It also has no executive or legislative capabilities as far as I can tell. It only reports information to the government and citizens. A "guideline" from the NIAAA is not a law and does not represent any amount of control over people's lives.
Ted Cruz is a liar of the highest order. Newsmax is raw, uncut fascist propaganda. The only way to believe this shit is to be completely braindead, unwilling to do the 15 minutes of basic googling that I just did to form this comment, and unable to accept that the world they believe they live in doesn't align with reality.
Yeah the ceiling fan part was a pretty wild random addition. It's so farfetched to think anyone might prevent you from having a ceiling fan, but I'm willing to bet some angry Texan is yelling about it as we speak.
They'll install a V8 on their ceiling with a tiny radiator fan just to own the libs
My boss was certainly yelling about it yesterday. Conservatives legitimately are not very smart.
And this, gentlepeople, is the definition of toxic masculinity
Well, toxic behavior anyway. I don't think you could ever use any variation of the word "masculine" to describe Ted "What if Wolverine had flaccid penises instead of claws?" Cruz.
So brave. Edgelords would complain about a PROPOSED RECOMMENDATION but had to qualify drinking a non-alcoholic beer on camera. So very very brave.
And the shit about ceiling fans... Those new regulations are a win for everyone but shitty bootleg fan makers. No one is trying to "take their ceiling fans away," this is about making them better and cheaper. But, of course they hate that, too. If Biden said, "stop running your A/C with all of your windows open," Ted would complain about that next.
Hell, I can even make it a conservative talking point: "This will prevent cheap Chinese-made fans that waste American's hard-earned money and don't work from flooding the market and provide good jobs right here at home."
Put on a hard hat and give a speech at the Big Ass Fans factory and you're golden.
Doesn't Colbert occasionally have a glass of whiskey on stage? I don't think he's implied its fake either.
WHERE'S MY LEGAL WEED, MR. "LIBERALS WANT TO CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE"?
"In a new statement handed down today by the FDA, Americans are recommended that they smoke 2 joints.
Do you smoke two joints in the morning? Or smoke two joints at night?
I smoke two joints in the afternoon. It makes me feel...alright ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I smoke two joints in time of peace. And two in time of war.
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints and then I smoke two more
two before work, two after
And mushrooms and MDMA
Obama was president for 8 years and never moved to make weed legal. It's safe to say the old curmudgeons in congress don't actually want to make weed legal.
Trust me, nobody will complain if you give yourself liver disease, Ted.
Have a casefull of wood alcohol on me. Doctors really hate this stuff, because it makes you go blind.
Librul doctor's say regular alcohol use is dangerous? Well screw em I'm gonna drink until my liver fails, I get dangerous alcohol withdrawal seizures, I get a severe neuropathy and can't even walk, and my brain gives out suddenly with wernicke korsakoff syndrome and I lose all ability to form new memories. Ain't no Librul doctor's job to tell me about health risks, I want to live in ignorance until it all goes horribly wrong then yell about how no one told me this could happen.
You forgot the part where they get government assistance with medical bills as well.
What? That's socialism!
I, a woke liberal, strongly recommend that they do not drink a glass of bleach with a Drano chaser. In fact I forbid them to do so.
Also, only the woke ideology tells you not to mix bleach and chlorine.
My super red state won't let you buy liquor on Sundays but go off Ted
No one is going to stop you from drinking yourself to death, Ted. In fact, I bet many a people will actively encourage it.
Man, these folks just get mad about everything. It’s a recommendation, not a law, you idiots.
Doctors also recommend you don't punch yourself in the face really hard, Ted. If we could make it a law, Ted, we would absolutely make it illegal for you to punch yourself in the face really hard, but because you're a Senator, Ted, we can't becauae you love freedom too much to let us stop you. Grrr, I sure wish we could force you to not punch yourself in the face really hard. I just get so mad that I can't stop you, Ted Cruz, Junior Senator from Texas, from punching yourself right in the face as hard as you can. I might almost cry about it.
I wish the headline was “Ted Crus gives himself alcohol poisoning over a suggestion” because at least then Ted Cruz would have alcohol poisoning.
Why isn’t anybody talking about that gaggle of overweight and under-educated hillbillies he is standing in front of?
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