I've seen at least one video where a snake of similar size manages to depress a door handle and gets it to open, although that might've been lucky coincidence.

As for my own snakes, they definitely grasp the concept of a sliding door and how its mechanics work, since they try to get it open regularly. That's why they sell locks for those.

I wonder if someone just dethawed a mouse in there and the snake can smell it or if the snake has watched that happen enough times that it thinks the microwave is some sort of mouse vending machine

Thats a big shit on the floor waiting to happen.

I like to think that note on the fridge is a to-do list of chores for the big old snake. I hope he remembered to fold the laundry and pick up some milk on the way home

It's the wiggly man, you know, the long-mover

Huh, I didn't know snakes can climb that well.

One of my favourite surprising animal facts is that many semiaquatic turtle species can actually climb over substantial obstacles. They have claws, and when climbing, they actually move very slowly and methodically. (Turtles are also surprisingly fast on flat ground. It's just that the shells are a bit cumbersome.)