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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by autismdragon@hexbear.net to c/neurodiverse@hexbear.net

Part of the reason I have autism in my name is so comrades I expect to be able to do so will not try to dunk on me for normal autistic behavior like caring about accuracy in rhetoric.

Please don't take a defensive stance and attack me like I'm some federated user (not that you all aren't obnoxiously agressive with federated users who havent actually earned it anyway sometimes, ive called it out a few times recently) spouting liberal rhetoric.

This is an obvious subtweet so fuck it i'm just going to screenshot what im talking about

In this thread I was arguing with the federated lib elsewhere, which was easy to see. But these two users here @Kieselguhr@hexbear.net and @ElHexo@hexbear.net decided to compare me to liberal fact checkers (liberal fact checkers use differences that dont actually matter to try to spin things as false, this is not what was happening here, as I wasnt trying to spin Kieselguhr as false, merely give them advice, AND the difference actually is material). Which frankly is an insulting comparison to make towards an autistic comrade. Then ElHexo decided to tell me information I already knew but wasnt relevant to the correction I made.

Fact checking isnt inherently wrong and playing fast and loose with information in your rhetoric isnt lib shit. Don't give people holes to gotcha you with lmao. Caring about truth is supposed to be one of our values. We are materialists. The fact that they got upbeared over me for this dunk bothers me too, wish I could see upbears so I could correct everyone involved in that too. Please, as leftists, care about truth and dont give liberals opening to gotcha you with. The fact that you've let the bad faith actions of liberal fact checkers start to make you post-truth is not a good sign. Readjust your thinking.

Finally, you really shouldnt approach any fellow Hexbear doing this by assuming bad faith like this, but especially not one with autism in the username. I was trying to improve rhetoric, not prove you wrong. Coming at me aggressively was not an appropriate response. We really should have an official rule of assuming good faith from fellow Hexbears. Especially long standing ones like myself, and ones who are open about being neurodiverse on top of that.

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[-] Barx@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

The response in the screenshot reads as a joke to me, the meaning of which is that a fraction of half the Dems not giving an ovation because they weren't there doesn't matter nor actually contradict the point made. If we are being very specific, the claim was just that the Democrats gave a standing ovation, and that is technically true. A ton of them were present and they did that. This is a valid way to express that fact.

I would say that the issue may be that the response could be interpreted as snarky. It's sometimes hard to tell what is a normal joke and what is dunking snark and what is a sarcastic but comradely ribbing. I think it's a good practice for those making jokes to be as obvious as possible but also for those who find them troubling to also directly ask. If it were me, I would have interpreted it as the last one: a comradely ribbing calling out some liberalism.

I do also think that the culture here is and always has been to make fun of liberalism, and with all respect, your counterpoint in the screenshot is liberalism. So for everyone to remain and be comfortable, either the site culture needs to change or we need to make peace with seeing our own liberalism called out sometimes, and even made fun of a bit.

Finally, I think making a joke reference like this is often perceived as the less critical way to engage with someone. Someone writing a paragraph on how this is a liberal attitude might be conveying that this is a much more serious correction than it really is, whereas goofing around may communicate that it is minor. I know this is the opposite of how someone that is on the spectrum may perceive that way of communicating. I'm not sure what the best way forward is but I hope this contextualization is helpful either way.

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago

I mostly take this well and think its good analysis but

and with all respect, your counterpoint in the screenshot is liberalism.

I dont get this. I dont get how the truth is liberalism. Half the democrats weren't there and objected to Netanyahu's speech for various reasons. Thats just a fact. Why are facts liberalism? Shouldn't we value truth? I'm missing something.

[-] Barx@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

I don't think it is fair to summarize your screenshotted response as just some facts. You were very explicitly saying the person you were responding to was not factual, and I have just stated how what they said was actually perfectly valid. The fact that not all Dems were there is true and is a fact. The point being made based on this, however, is incorrect and is a form of liberalism that serves to let the capitalist party off the hook for their massive support for the Zionist entity. That half were not there does not change the fact that the Dems still gave Netanyahu a standing ovation. The fact that none of them except Tlaib could even forward a direct criticism is supportive of the validity of that statement. In addition, broad-brushing does not imply every single member doing exactly the same thing, but whether it is representative. I would say giving Netanyahu a standing ovation is indeed representative, in part demonstrated by the aforementioned weakness of opposition.

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago

Well, I still think the distinciton is material, but I at least understand your perspective, thank you.

[-] ratboy@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

I'm curious why you think the distinction is material? In my reading of it, while you were clear that you were in agreement with their argument, your comment just feels like it derailed the point that the other person made and would veer the conversation into semantics.

I'm autistic and can be very pedantic lol. So I think I can see why you'd find it so important, but I think the fact that you inserted yourself between another argument and, without intending to, kinda watered down your comrades point, was probably off putting. If it was a conversation between yourself and that person then I don't know that you would've gotten the same response, but they probably were frustrated and felt kind of attacked

[-] bumpusoot@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think anything I'd have to say on this specific matter has already been said and addressed. I know being attacked like this can be unpleasant, but I think you made a constructive conversation out of the matter, here.

I'll instead just say, as a long-term user with a couple alts, I've always really liked your posts. I admire your ability to take others' points on board, and agree a lot with your points on accuracy being important and the dangers of users being quick-to-dunk. Thanks for being a consistently cool poster meow-hug

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

I appreciate that a lot!

[-] QuietCupcake@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

I think it's fair to ask that comrades not make fun of you (or anyone) or get on your case for wanting accuracy and pointing it out when something is less than accurate - I'm not sure that's what's going on in your screenshot - but it is a fair request in general. However, I would also like to ask that you please try to avoid using pejoratives like "moron." I know it's not a hard rule or anything here, and I know it is not intended to be used in an ableist way (most of the time) but there still is a lot of ableism embedded in the insult "moron." I think it's just better if we can do our best to replace those sort of words in our vocabulary with ones that are just as much biting towards those that deserve it without doing splash damage on those who don't.

In that very thread (which I think is sad that the whole post got removed, because it was shaping up to be quite a thorough and lively lib-smashing!) the lib that everyone was attempting to educate (with a surprising lack of PPB given their bad faith garbage), was using the term moron, and a comrade pointed out that it was an ableist term that they were using. I think that's a legitimate ask. It also would have been more effective if other hexbears weren't making the same mistake.

I don't mean to hijack your thread to make a different request or to turn your own request back on you, but I feel like it's actually a very similar thing having to do with respecting neurodivergent people.

[-] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago

I really don't want to start this Discourse again, but calling someone "moron" is not ableist beyond the metric of "insulting someone's lack of intelligence is ableist". It genuinely does not matter that it has a long-dead association with phrenological bullshit, it does not even remotely read that way to a modern audience and is as ridiculous as calling "lowbrow comedy" and ableist way to describe Jackass. That association is not part of the language anymore, it is linguistically dead.

You are right that the lack of PPB was good, though

[-] QuietCupcake@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

As someone who is neurodivergent and has worked with people that are more severely effected with developmental issues who frequently get called "morons" specifically because of their disabilities, I think you are way off base. Just because the ***ard slur was recent in common and casual use and still is to a large extent, that doesn't make the use of it ok, or that it would be ok if we gave it a few more decades to become more fully ingrained in society.

I really don't want to start this Discourse again

Then don't.

Edit: And to be clear to anyone reading this, it's not like I'm calling for the word to be banned on hexbear or even telling people not to use it. I was asking that comrades be more mindful of their use of it and recognize that when they do use it, it does do harm to many neurodivergent people who might be reading, the same way other slurs for them do. All I'm saying is that the respectful, thoughtful, and comradely thing to do would simply be to make an effort to replace it with less splash-damaging terms in your vocabulary when you are able to do so. Because again, there are people with disabilities who feel hurt by its casual use.

[-] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago

Just because the ***ard slur was recent in common and casual use and still is to a large extent, that doesn't make the use of it ok,

It's not okay because of the association, which does indeed mean

it would be ok [in the future] if we gave it a few more decades to become more fully ingrained in society.

Though that is certainly not what I would recommend compared to the much more reasonable solution of "stop calling people that for any reason".

This all having been said, my caveat is in the earlier comment was very important, because this sounds like it has gotten very much into "mocking someone's intelligence is ableist", which is probably true but is worth clarifying because I have to assume that those people you work with have been called every other slang word for "unintelligent" that was within their bullies' productive vocabularies. That seems to be very much about how the term is used and disconnecting from any sort of etymological trivia. Surely they were also called "idiot", and to explain the real meaning of how that it ableist, we would really be getting distracted if we started talking about "idiot savants" and such, despite that being a much more living term than literally any phrenological jargon.

Doesn't it seem kind of tailist to not ban these terms?

[-] freagle@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 3 months ago

So, you're saying it's not ableist to insult someone because you seem them to have lower intelligence? What do you think intelligence is if not an "ability"? Insulting someone because of your perception of their intelligence is literally insulting them on the basis of their perceived ability and therefore assigning them a social value based on ability. It has nothing to do with phrenology. Intelligence is like mobility, it's a capability of the human animal and each person has that ability to varying degrees. The degree to which they exhibit the ability should not be the basis for distributing or withholding respect.

[-] QuietCupcake@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's not okay because of the association, which does indeed mean

Did you not finish the sentence there? Both the ***ard term and "moron" mean essentially the same thing.

it would be ok [in the future] if we gave it a few more decades to become more fully ingrained in society.

Though that is certainly not what I would recommend compared to the much more reasonable solution of "stop calling people that for any reason".

The fuck? Are you trying to quote me out of context or did you really not understand me? I was saying it still would not be ok even if the ***ard slur were given a few more decades to become more ingrained, which it was well on its way to becoming when efforts were made to point out the harmfulness of its use.

The rest of your comment is mostly just nerd pedantry. "Idiot" absolutely was and is used in an intentionally derogatory way, but most people, even those with developmental disabilities like those I mentioned, do not feel like the use of that word is a slur against them. (If they did, then I would make the same recommendations for it as I did "moron.") Yes, they also, some of them, had been called, let's use as an example "shit-for-brains." But if someone casually used "shit-for-brains" directed elsewhere but in conversation around them, they didn't have the same gut-punch reaction because they intuitively knew the phrase didn't have the same kind of history in specifically ridiculing and demeaning people like them.

Take "bitch" as a similar example. We (here) have made an effort not to use that term because of its misogynist connotations. But what about the countless instances it was and is used in situations completely devoid of those connotations? "Man, life is a bitch and then you die." "They're just bitching about the TV being too loud." And on and on. "Bitch" being used ubiquitously in circumstances where it is not at all being directed at women or as a way to emasculate someone is still looked down upon here for reasons I hope are obvious, reasons that I would have hoped regular posters here would recognize as being the same reasons why it would be good to advocate for replacing "moron" in our collective vocabulary. I don't go around policing people every time the say something like "oh wow, bitchin'!" but at the same time, especially in spaces that are ostensibly sensitive to culturally ingrained sexism, racism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, etc., I have an expectation that people recognize the history and the fact that it low-key does make many women uncomfortable and they would be doing a net good to make an attempt not to say that.

Basically, it comes down to the feelings and opinions of the group who has been oppressed and is still stigmatized. How do people of color feel about each of the many terms historically used to describe them? Are some of those terms better than others, on a spectrum of acceptability and also dependent on who uses them? Is there a significant portion of women who feel that the word "bitch" is too deeply entwined with misogyny to be salvaged despite it's ubiquitous innocently-intended use and does its use make them uncomfortable? Are people who suffer from developmental disabilities made uncomfortable by the casual use of "idiot"? The ones I've known were not, but all of them, every single one I talked to about it, got upset by people calling others morons, specifically because of the way the word had been used against them. Even the ones who would not have been able to articulate an understanding of the history of how the word was used still had an intuitive sense of how it had been. Personally, I am with them and would always stand in solidarity next to them against the people who simply can't make the slightest effort to try to use another word when they notice themselves calling someone a "moron."

Also, I thought you didn't want to get into this discourse.

edit: autismdragon, I didn't mean for your post's thread to get derailed like this, I apologize that it did.

[-] Parzivus@hexbear.net 0 points 3 months ago

Both the ***ard term and "moron" mean essentially the same thing.

c'mon, lol

[-] MaeBorowski@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

They do though.

[-] dinklesplein@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

fwiw i agree with you, it doesnt take that much effort to modify your speech to plug up any possible 'gotchas'. you can say it 'doesn't matter' but imo it absolutely does, little errors like that absolutely make some level of difference to someone's credibility.

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Hmm. Perhaps I'm missing context here but I'm kinda not sure why your point needed to be made in the context of their conversation and why it could be seen as annoying/a refutation of kieselghurs point from their perspective.

for someone making a point to a lib to have these hairs split, in this context, at this time, seems like a defense of Democrats at worst (i know you did not mean this) and a petty caveat at best. Again, this is me vibe ridin'.

Unless kieselguhr was expressly saying or implying every Democrat clapped, rather than what i see implied: refutation of the widespread libworm that Trump would somehow be worse for Palestine than the democrats, a significant, consequential portion of which just clapped like the dogs they are for a fucking monster. You know as well as i do the Democrats as a body are behind Israel. If that is indeed the point kieselguhr was making, that makes your information irrelevant and even unwanted.

I'm in shaky territory here, assuming their and your intentions. But isn't that why you posted this, for tommy's hot takes? Jokes aside, until they come themselves, shouldn't you give your comrades the benefit of the doubt you yourself desire?

Maybe their intentions werent as harsh as you believe? Only one way to be sure on that, but my final take is in your pic i just see some standard fact-check nerdin'. No beefin, no strugglin'... i see this everyday here. Both your comment and theirs are fine imho

Anyway that's my 2

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

, shouldn't you give your comrades the benefit of the doubt you yourself desire?

I mean their response was explicitly a dunk, unless you mean I should have given their original post the benefit of the doubt. In which case yeah I can maybe see that looking back. But I still think some degree of understanding of why I would want to correct that would have been appreciated.

This is partially a RSD thing, I dont like responses like that becuase it makes me feel like shit. Like I did something wrong.

[-] Procapra@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

i mean, assuming you agree with the responses, what is the problem? The responses given to you are correct, maybe a lil snarky, but correct nonetheless. I don't even think they were trying to insult you.

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

Im getting this feedback a lot so I think it came off as an insult because of my RSD.

[-] Procapra@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

No worries! That type of thing can happen to the best of us. Hope things work out better for you moving forward heart-sickle

this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

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