"Okay honey, it's really cool that you're Gay and all. But could you, like... Go back in the closet and come out again? It's for something that's very important to me" 🥺
This man will never take a shower in peace without being haunted by this memory
You mean “shake a tower”. 🤦♂️
Is that an euphemisms for masturbation?
No. It’s a dad way of saying take a shower, by switching the first two letters of each word.
Edit: another one is the fit has hit the shan, which is a less vulgar way of saying the shit has hit the fan.
Guess I still need to work on my own dad jokes, as mine apparently went "whoosh" right there.
It will be on his tombstone.
Homie has the opportunity to ascend to a higher plane of dadhood and completly blew it
You should turn in the dad card immediately, the offices are open 9-3. The regulations were clearly defined - no exceptions.
Probably need to buy a few pairs of New Balance and khakis for redemption
"You are a father but we do not grant you the rank of 'Dad'."
Devastating.
I'm actually mad about it now. Fucking wasted it, man :/
Are you sure you're even her dad?
Man needs a paternity test ASAP
gonna have to take your dad classes again
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In a similar situation, i just looked at my wife and said "you owe me 5€."
Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
- Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
- Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
- You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
- Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
- Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If a post is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
- Be nice. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements to private messages.
- No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.
Related communities: