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Parenthood failure (lemmy.world)
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[-] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 213 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Okay honey, it's really cool that you're Gay and all. But could you, like... Go back in the closet and come out again? It's for something that's very important to me" 🥺

[-] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 164 points 10 months ago

This man will never take a shower in peace without being haunted by this memory

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago

You mean “shake a tower”. 🤦‍♂️

[-] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Is that an euphemisms for masturbation?

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

No. It’s a dad way of saying take a shower, by switching the first two letters of each word.

Edit: another one is the fit has hit the shan, which is a less vulgar way of saying the shit has hit the fan.

[-] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Guess I still need to work on my own dad jokes, as mine apparently went "whoosh" right there.

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It will be on his tombstone.

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 58 points 10 months ago

Homie has the opportunity to ascend to a higher plane of dadhood and completly blew it

[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 44 points 10 months ago

You should turn in the dad card immediately, the offices are open 9-3. The regulations were clearly defined - no exceptions.

[-] RandomStickman@fedia.io 28 points 10 months ago

Probably need to buy a few pairs of New Balance and khakis for redemption

[-] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 27 points 10 months ago

"You are a father but we do not grant you the rank of 'Dad'."

[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 25 points 10 months ago

Devastating.

[-] penquin@lemm.ee 17 points 10 months ago

I'm actually mad about it now. Fucking wasted it, man :/

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Are you sure you're even her dad?

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Man needs a paternity test ASAP

[-] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 10 months ago

gonna have to take your dad classes again

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

Task failed successfully

[-] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago

In a similar situation, i just looked at my wife and said "you owe me 5€."

this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
950 points (97.7% liked)

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