"Christ" means "anointed" or "the anointed one", so "the Christ" actually kinda works

...but since "anointed" means to put oil on something, does that make Jesus the Christ fast as greased lightning?

Well, the two do have some things in common.

They both want you to follow them.

They want to lead you from chaos and danger.

They focus on helping the needy.

They can make food magically appear.

People love making art of when they got nailed.

It's Buddy the Christ.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/93/Buddy_christ.jpg

GOTTA GO FAST (for lent)

Big Werner the Herzog energy

So who gets to be Tails?

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY